Paul's Prayer for Us.

I read this today and was struck by its beauty and simplicity. It is from the book, “Living Words for Today,” which uses the Living Bible.


“My prayer for you is that you will overflow more and more with love for others, and at the same time keep on growing in spiritual knowledge and insight.


For I want you always to see clearly the difference between right and wrong, and to be inwardly clean, no one being able to criticize you from now until our Lord returns.


May you always be doing those good, kind things that go along with being a child of God, for this will bring much praise and glory to the Lord.


Always be full of joy in the Lord; I say it again, rejoice!


Let everyone see you are unselfish and gentle in all you do. Remember that the Lord is coming soon.”


Philippians 1:9-11; 4:4,5

Wrestling with God.

My grandson died almost 8 years ago. When someone you love dies it can be a terrible shock or you may be prepared for it after a long illness, or be prepared because they were very old.

My grandson was 21 when he died and it was a terrible shock to everyone in the family. He died because he drank heavily and then fell asleep on a soft sofa with his face down. He never woke up. The coroner said he had seen this happen to young men quite often.

His mother and I poured out our hearts to God. We talked about it with him for a long time. When the pain seemed too much we reached up to God and he healed us. He was a great comfort, and I don’t know how we would have made it through without his help.

But my grandson’s brother and my other daughter did not do this. My daughter would not speak about what happened and didn’t want us to either. She bottled up her sadness and rage until she had a mental breakdown about 4 years later. She went to counseling and got better.

My other grandson is still suffering. He and his brother were extremely close. He found the pain to be too much to handle and a few years after the death he started taking drugs to dull the pain. Eventually he became addicted to heroin. I know I have told this story before, but this time I wanted to share how important it is to talk to God or a counselor about the loss of someone you love.

He was in such bad shape after a few years of heroin that he knew he had to get off it. Also, he was tempted to start stealing in order to buy it. His mother did everything she could to help him. She wanted him to go into a rehab center and paid $5,000. He went for one day and half a night. He doesn’t feel comfortable being around people.

I didn’t know that when you quit heroin your legs hurt so much you want to cut them off. The pain is awful.

 My daughter lived with him for three months helping him through withdrawal. He went to the government program where they give you methadone. Oh, how that helped him! How grateful we are to the government and what they had done for him. He is still on methadone and doing very well physically.

But he has never dealt with the heavy grief in his heart. The worst month for him is August because that is when his brother died. It isn’t quite August and he is in a bad place right now. My daughter is going to see him tonight. He lives in the next town.

I texted him last night and told him to pray to God for peace of mind and don’t stop asking until he gets it. I have done that when I was depressed and God always came through.

I remember saying to God, “I’m not leaving this bed until I feel better.” And I kept praying. And then I felt better; I could face the day.

Now, when I pray, I also ask for joy and happiness in my day. I know God wants me to have peace and joy in the Holy Spirit. The Bible says that, and what God has said, he will do. Sometimes we just have to keep asking.

This makes me think of Jacob, when he was wrestling with God. He said, “I won’t let you go until you bless me.” You would think that was pretty pushy of Jacob, but apparently, God didn’t. He praised Jacob and gave him a new name: Israel.

Jacob’s story can inspire us to do the same. Don’t let go of God until he blesses you. The Bible says, “pursue peace,” so ask for it every time your heart is troubled, and keep asking.

Telling God Alone.

In my last post I wrote about watching too much television with my mom and having a struggle with that. Of course, God came through and helped me. As I said, Mom told me she would like to play some computer games. Well, that is what she wants to do every night instead of watching TV. I’m so thankful to God. Now I have more time to listen to Christian podcasts, read books about God and to pray.

In one podcast, a man said something like, “If you were raised in a legalistic, fundamentalist religion and are now free of it, be grateful for your upbringing. You grew up knowing the Lord’s name.” I agree with him and have thought about that a lot.

My sisters and I used to be upset at our religious upbringing, but now I am grateful. Because of my parents and my church, I have always believed there is a God; I’ve always known he hears and sees me; I’ve always known there is eternal life for those who follow him. I may have been terrified of God and when I sinned I thought he would kill me with a bolt of lightening, but hey, it was a start! I’ve certainly never been tempted to be an atheist.

Something happened this week that showed me how good Joyce Meyer’s advice is on not telling people when you are hurt by someone. I thought about telling only my husband but I realized there would be no point in that. He couldn’t change anything and would also feel sad that I was sad.

I don’t want to say what this person did. It was someone in my family. When it happened, I felt like a knife went through my heart. So, I spent time talking with God about the situation. I thought about what Jesus would do. I think he would have felt hurt, but he would have just accepted what happened. That night I prayed God would take away the pain in my heart and when I woke in the morning the pain was totally gone.

That day, another family member came over and talked with me about what happened. I didn’t bring it up, but she knew about it. What she said made me feel so much better. The situation was clarified and I could see there was no malice at all involved in it. That night we all went out to dinner and had a perfectly wonderful time together.

I love God’s way of dealing with our hurts. I love this way of not telling people I am sad etc. I know there are times we must confront people. Jesus said to go to those who hurt you and talk with them. I have done that before; sometimes it works out great, other times not so much. What I especially love is how God tells us not to spread these stories all over the place. We shouldn’t call our friends and tell them how horribly someone has treated us. We should go to God alone and he will help us.

Asking for Advice: Yes or No?

Joyce Meyer has a saying, “Don’t run to the phone; go to the throne.”  She was speaking mainly to women about this because when we women have problems we usually talk to our family and friends about it. We want their sympathy and advice. Joyce says to go to God first, and not only that but to perhaps not to share those problems with other people. God is enough and will comfort and guide us.

To me, this seemed like good advice and I’ve been trying to do this. I have found out that God indeed does comfort and guide. He puts Bible verses in my mind about the problem I have. I feel heard and understood by him in a wonderful way. And I’m glad not to share my gloom and doom attitude with my family since it usually makes them feel sad or mad. It can be hard dealing with a family member who is naturally fearful.

But there are other voices that say we should have spiritual mentors and go to them with our plans and problems. I listened to a podcast of someone who said she thought she had a great plan for this year, but every mentor/spiritual advisor told her not to do it.

When Joyce was called by God to be a preacher, no one thought she should do it either. Her church kicked her out and her family didn’t believe God called her. Only her husband supported her after talking with God about it. At the time there were no women preachers, or very few; most churches would not allow it. But I believe God did call her and she has helped millions of people through preaching, writing and charity.

I was talking with God about this, feeling confused on what is right about the subject. He asked me to think on what Jesus did. Well, Jesus didn’t ask other people for their advice on where to go or what to do. He took his marching orders from his father. He is our perfect example of what we should do.

Then I thought of Paul, who was converted on the road to Damascus. This is what he says in Galatians 1:15,16

“But when God, who set me apart from my mother’s womb and called me by His grace, was pleased to reveal His Son in me so that I might preach Him among the Gentiles, I did not rush to consult with flesh and blood, nor did I go up to Jerusalem to the apostles who came before me, but I went into Arabia and later returned to Damascus.

Only after three years did I go up to Jerusalem to confer with Cephas, and I stayed with him fifteen days. But I saw none of the other apostles except James, the Lord’s brother.”

Ellicott’s Commentary for English Readers says this:

“Having once obtained a firm inward apprehension of Christ as the Messiah and Saviour, the Apostle then comes forward to preach Him among the heathen. But that firm inward apprehension was not to be attained all at once, and it was in seeking this that “the Spirit drove him” into the wilderness of Arabia. First comes the instantaneous flash of the idea upon his soul (“to reveal his Son in me”); then the prolonged conflict and meditation, in which it gets thoroughly consolidated, and adjusted, and worked into his being (during the retirement into Arabia); lastly, the public appearance as a preacher to the heathen upon the return to Damascus.”

So Paul did not seek men’s advice or teaching, which is interesting. Most preachers go to seminary to learn how and what to preach.

When Paul was preaching in Berea, the Bible says, “Now these Jews were more noble than those in Thessalonica; they received the word with all eagerness, examining the Scriptures daily to see if these things were so.”  Acts 17:11

Now Jesus was a spiritual advisor to the disciples. There is that to consider. He called them, he taught them and he trained them. Paul advised Timothy and other Christian leaders. Elijah took Elisha under his wing.

I think I have come to the conclusion that before we listen to any person, we should study the Bible deeply and we should spend much time in prayer. There are false teachers and false prophets. I believe God will let us know as we study and pray whether what someone is preaching is right or wrong. And if you are called by God to go somewhere or do something, keep praying until you are sure, and then do it.

One thing too about humans. Even if they are right about many things, they can be off the mark in some things. Preachers disagree with each other. They interpret the Bible differently. And not because they don’t love God or study, it is just another way Humans are not perfect.

George Whitefield and John Wesley disagreed about Calvinistic points, but Whitefield, to the very last, was determined to forget minor differences and to regard Wesley as Calvin did Martin Luther, “only as a good servant of Jesus Christ.” He asked Wesley to preach his funeral sermon.

“On another occasion a censorious professor of religion asked Whitefield whether he thought they would see John Wesley in heaven. “No sir,” was the striking answer; “I fear not, for he will be so near the throne, and we shall be at such a distance, that we shall hardly get a sight of him.” 

The Collected Sermons of George Whitefield.

Great Christian Podcasts.

Photo by: https://www.flickr.com/people/23155134@N06

I have been listening to a lot of podcasts lately. I also joined Instagram because the posts are short and easy to read on my tablet. I thought I would share the titles of some podcasts I enjoy.  They are all Christian sites.

That Sounds Fun with Annie F. Downs

Creekside Church

Bridgetown Audio Podcast

Jesus Calling Podcast

Go and Tell Gals

Out of the Ordinary

Coffee with Andi

Exploring My Strange Bible

Because I am basically a quiet person with a bad memory, and a seemingly blank mind, I looked for a prayer podcast. I wanted someone to pray along with since I don’t leave my house much. I did find one I really liked. This woman knows how to pray:

The Prayer Podcast

God bless you all, and Happy Thanksgiving to all Americans!

Pray When You Don't Want To.

I am re-reading a book by Cole Casey, a Franciscan Friar, entitled, “Called: What Happens After Saying Yes to God.” He has great insights into walking with God and growth in the Christian life.

His chapter on prayer is wonderful and yet simple. He said that even though he loved God, he hadn’t made prayer a priority in his life before his first year as a friar. But when he started his lessons, one of his teachers said, “Unless prayer is the foundation for everything you do, you will not become good Franciscans.”

Here is an excerpt from his book:

“While I knew I could not control how tired, distracted, interested, comfortable or happy I was going to be during prayer, nor could I affect the outcome of the experience, I knew I could control my attendance. Within the first couple of weeks of novitiate, I made a commitment quietly sit in the chapel for thirty minutes a day. All I had to do was show up. And let me tell you: a lot of mornings, that’s all I did. There were days that getting out of bed to sit in a cold chapel was the last thing I wanted to do. There were days when I could have spent that time doing “more important” things. There were days when I was angry at God, my brothers or myself and didn’t want to deal with them. There were days when showing up, literally, was all I could have done. And yet, in the past I wouldn’t have even done that.

What I came to realize was that showing up, having fidelity to prayer, was in fact a prayer in and of itself. I found that it offered an insight into God’s fidelity to me, that God was always there, showing up for me, not because I deserved it, was particularly enjoyable to be around, or offered a fulfilling experience, but because of his commitment to my life. Showing up, even when I didn’t want to, offered me the opportunity to return that love, to emulate the God who had never failed to love me.”

Although, I have done this kind of praying for years, I hadn’t thought about how important it is that God is always showing up for me, whether I’m aware of it or not. He is right beside me, a word away, a breath away. His faithfulness to me is constant. After reading this chapter, I felt the weight of the privilege we all have in Jesus. What a wonderful and amazing God he is!

God and a Little Girl.

This is a picture of me at 6 years old. My mother used to cut my hair. Lol  I thought I looked like the Dutch Boy on the paint cans. I remember being a bit embarrassed and by the time I was 8 I had a nice pony tail like the other girls.

I’m not sure if I’ve written this story before, but I feel compelled to tell it so you’ll have to forgive me if you have already read it. It was 1956 and I was six years old when my parents decided to leave Canada and move me, my sister and brother to a drier climate. My brother had severe asthma and the doctors said he wouldn’t survive another winter.

So, they applied to move to the United States and my father got a job in Loma Linda, California at a hospital working in the accounting office. We packed up and took off in our roomy car. On the way, my father would break into song, “California here we come; right back where we started from…” I was very excited since I knew about Hollywood where all the movie stars worked and the TV shows were made. I imagined it was beautiful. (At the time, it was definitely not beautiful and we were terribly disappointed.)

The drive down south was certainly beautiful. We took Highway 101, which is famous for its fantastic views of the Pacific Ocean and the giant Redwood trees. We stopped at the Trees of Mystery, drove through a hole in a tree and had our picture taken in front of a huge sculpture of Paul Bunyan. We also stopped at the Sea Lion Caves, which were wonderful. Then we came to San Francisco, where we got out of the car and walked on the Golden Gate Bridge. It was all very exciting for me and I suppose that trip is the reason I have loved to travel.

The day we left the bridge and came back to the hotel was a day I will never forget. We entered our room and my father said, “My wallet is gone.” We looked all over the room, but Dad figured he must have lost it in the car or at the bridge. One of my parents said, “Let’s pray.”

We all knelt down on the carpet and my father prayed. I guess I prayed too, I don’t remember. But I do remember one of them saying, “All the money we have in the world is in that wallet.” I would guess it was the first time I had ever seen my parents afraid., so I was afraid too.

We drove to the bridge. Dad got out of the car to retrace our steps. We waited, feeling very nervous. He came back with the wallet. He said it was lying open on the sidewalk. The money was sticking out for all to see. Yet though people were walking by, no one saw it or picked it up. I believe the Lord put his hand over it.

From that moment until now, sixty-two years later, I have never once doubted the existence of God. I don’t know what that answered prayer did for my brother and sister, but for me – I knew there was a God who hears us. And come to think of it, they never had doubts about God’s existence either. None of us were Christians when we were teenagers, but as adults we all came to him. My brother died of asthma at age 21. Before he died he wrote an article about how he was ready to meet Jesus. My older sister has become very close to God in the last 15 years. I became a Christian when I was 19.

I’m so thankful to God for showing us kids his mercy and kindness when the whole family needed him. I’m not sure what we would have done back then to keep traveling and staying in motels and eating. Actually, I’m sure the Lord would have provided in a different way. I just want to say a big, "Thank you," to God for showing a 6- year-old girl what you can do.

The Three Sisters.

Hello Everyone, I feel in my heart some things I want to share about God, so I’m going to start posting again, but not reading other blogs because of the issue with my eyes.

My youngest daughter, Christine, was living in Lethbridge, Alberta. Her husband had been transferred there and she had gotten a good job working for two surgeons. But their youngest daughter, who has OCD, became sick. Lethbridge has high winds and tornados and their daughter became so frightened she needed to leave. My daughter quit her job and went with her and they came here to Kelowna.

My son-in-law told his employers he had to move closer to Kelowna and get away from the winds.  They had wanted to move him far up north, but that just made his daughter feel worse. She missed her sisters and the city she had grown up in.

So, Christine looked for work here, not knowing what would happen. We were all praying for God to lead them where to live. I knew something good would happen. I was hoping they could all move back here, but that wasn’t the answer. After a month, the company asked if they would move to Canmore, Alberta. It is much closer to us and is near Banff, a skiing and resort area. They all met there to look around and their daughter was happy. She liked it and there are no tornados as it is at the foot of the Rockies.

Yesterday, Christine phoned me and asked if I knew there were three mountains there called, The Three Sisters. I told her I had seen them. She said, “You will never guess what the mountain’s names are. They are called, Faith, Hope and Charity.” I was astonished, because those are the names of Christine’s three girls, Faith, Hope and Cherish. I said, “It is a sign from God.” Christine said, “Yes, I know. We are right where he wants us to be.”

I do believe that whenever those mountains were named, they were named by inspiration from God so he could encourage our family in our troubles. I want to thank him and praise him for his kindness.

For those who remember my mother was sick, she is living here with us now. She has cancer, but it is slow-growing for which we are thankful. We love having here here with us.  

My 60's With God. The Valley of Death.

Craig with his aunt Christine.

I was going to write about my 60’s in one post, but I can see that isn’t going to happen. I felt I left out a lot about my grandson and his relationship with God in my last post about him, so I’m going to write about that today. When I sit down to write, I’m never sure what will end up on the page. I hope Craig’s story will help someone.

When I was 61, my beloved grandson, Craig, died. When Craig was a teenager, he told me he was an atheist. His step-father was one and he thought that was right. We talked about that a bit and over the years he came to believe there was a God.

Craig was in mental pain most of the time. His biological father had died of a drug overdose. Craig had never gotten to really know him and his death was devastating for him. He had hoped one day to connect with him and have a relationship. He and his brother started doing drugs and getting into trouble with the police. It was a very sad time for all of us. He once got in trouble with a gang who threatened to kill him. One day, I had to wash his blood out of his new winter jacket because they had beaten him. He was in fights a lot. He had a lot of anger inside. He went to jail and had a trial in Vancouver when he hurt someone badly in a fight. He was found not guilty though, because he hadn’t started it.

When he moved to Kelowna, he used to come over and talk with me about his life. He said he had so many regrets. We talked about God. He thought God could not love someone like him, but I told him God loved him even more than I did. He gradually began praying. He went to visit his step-father, who had not been a good father to him. They had long talks and the rift was mended. He went to visit his real father’s ex-wife and his two half-siblings. They all loved Craig. Then he came home, and there was another trial because he was in a fight at a party in Kelowna. He knew we were praying for him. He was also praying. He wanted to be a better person and told us he would like to go to schools and warn teens about drugs. But he was still doing drugs himself.

At his trial, he was found innocent again because it was a free-for-all fight, but he was put on probation. If he did one wrong thing, he would go to jail for a year. When I heard that, I knew he would probably not be able to be good for a year and he would be going to a prison up north. After the trial, Craig was happy and the last thing he said to us was, “Thank you for praying for me.”

That night, he was at a party and drank too much. He passed out face down on a soft sofa and smothered. The coroner said he had seen many teen boys who died this way. Their bodies are too much asleep to turn over and breathe. 

Of course, the whole family was in terrible mourning. My daughters, his cousins – just everyone. But we did all believe he was saved because he had been praying and talking about God. I know I will see him again. That hope is what kept me going, plus the peace of God that came upon me. The Lord is a great comforter. I believe he took Craig, because life was just too hard for him. I said to someone, “I’ve been praying for that boy since the day he was born. I know the Lord has saved Craig from something worse that was going to happen.” I still believe that.

After the funeral, a friend of his wrote on his memorial page, “You taught us the meaning of unconditional love.” Many, many young people came to the funeral and we were comforted by their stories of how Craig had helped them. Even kids from his  elementary school came and told us of Craig’s kindness. We were actually stunned at how many people he had helped during his short life. He was 21 when he died.

Okay, this was going to be about my big mistakes when I was in my 60’s, but I think I will do that next time. I just want to praise and thank God for giving Craig to us for the years he was here. I want to thank Him for taking Craig to himself where he can finally be at peace.

Craig with his father, Gerard.

Miracles in Motion. God in My Fifties.

God did some wonderful things for our family when I was in my 50’s. I was babysitting my grandsons, Craig and Jordan aged around 3 and 4, when their mother was transferred to a better job located 9 hours north of us. The boys were upset and didn’t want to move. They didn’t want to leave me and the rest of the family. But it was a permanent job, whereas her regular job was not. She felt she had to  go.

We were sad about it, and I went up to Prince George with her to get the boys settled in a daycare center. Sandy, my daughter, found a lovely daycare in a church and run by Christians. I was very happy about that. The first day I took the boys, we looked around and it was a very large area in the basement of the church. There were wonderful toys and books all around the room. The people were very friendly. I could see the boys would be okay; I stayed for a week and took a train home.

I didn’t think I would see the boys very often after the move. Nine hours was a long way to go to just spend a weekend. The Lord knew how much I loved and missed them because miracles started happening right away. My husband works for a gas utility company. He used to travel to different cities for his work. That year, they asked him to go to Prince George, which was the city Sandy and the boys lived in. The company gave my husband money for gas, food and a hotel. I was allowed to go with him. I don’t remember how many times we went, for a week at a time, but I think it was three or four times during the year Sandy worked there. They had never asked him to work there before, and after Sandy moved to Vancouver, they never asked my husband to work there again.

So, Sandy got an even better job in Vancouver, BC, a huge city by Canadian standards. They only lived 5 hours away now, which meant we could visit them and they could visit us. It was lovely. In fact, my husband’s company now started sending him to Vancouver! We stayed in lovely hotels off and on for two years. 

When the boys got older, they went to elementary school and then to a daycare, next door to the school, until Sandy was off work. Well, they were very unhappy in the daycare. They were the oldest ones there and they started getting angry and acting up. Sandy asked if maybe we could move to Vancouver and help with the boys.

By this time, the managers in Vancouver really wanted Dan to move there. Dan had said no before, because we loved living in Kelowna. But since the boys needed us, he told the company we would move there. So, that seemed a miracle to me also that just when they needed us, God made it possible to move where they lived.

When the boys were 12 and 13, my younger daughter, Christine, called from Kelowna. Her daughter, Faith, was sick with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. Christine had to work. They could not live on what her husband made. There was just no choice for her. She asked if we could move back to Kelowna. I told her I doubted we could since there was no work there, as far as I knew. But I told her we would pray about it.

My husband told me there was no jobs for him there and would not be; everything had been closed down there.  I told him how much Christine needed us, and she needed us right now! We prayed and for the first time in my life, I asked God for a sign. Because if God showed us we would be able to move there then I would go now and my husband would go when the job came up.

That night, I had a dream. I was in an airplane with my mother. She was beside the window. I leaned over and looked through the window and saw Kelowna. “We’re home,” I said to her. Then I woke up. I told my husband God had sent us a sign and I could move right away, and I did.

A year later, my husband had a job in Kelowna with the same company. They had decided to move the main warehouse from Vancouver to Kelowna. My husband had to take a step downward in his career, but he was okay with that. Family has always come first with him. During the year we were apart, he would drive down every other weekend to visit.

Now we say, “God moved a warehouse for us.”  Yep, he did, and I’ve very grateful. We lived with Christine and her family for 10 years, until Faith was 14 years old and didn’t need me anymore. I treasure the time I had with her. She has suffered with her disease, and still has some problems, but she has grown into a wonderful, vibrant adult.

I never thought I would be happy living in a huge city with millions of people, but I fell in love with Vancouver. I count those years as some of the happiest of my life. One reason was where we lived, which was across the street from where the boys went to school. We had asked God to help us find a place near the school. We were thrilled with what he gave us.

The school was in a beautiful neighborhood, one block from English Bay and three blocks from Stanley Park. I walked along the beach and through the woods and saw so many beautiful things of nature. Every day the weather was nice, I walked. The boys and I had such fun. We walked or took the bus to the bowling alley, comic book store, arcade, movies, and swimming pool. When you live in the heart of a city, you don’t have to drive anywhere. 

How do you thank a God who does such things for you? There is a line in a song that says something like, “It’s gonna take forever to exhaust my gratitude. But I’m never gonna stop, til the whole world knows that I’m grateful…”  That’s how I feel sometimes about God. Forever is not enough time to say thank you. 

Thank you very much for your prayers for me. I woke up this morning and I felt better. The clouds had lifted by the power of God.

This morning, I woke from a dream. In the dream there was a large round table. There were about 10 people sitting around the table with playing cards in their hands. I sat down in an empty chair. My cards were face down in front of me. I could see the cards of the other players. Everyone had a 3 in their hand. I looked down at my cards and thought, "I need to have a 3 also so I will be like all the others." I picked up my cards and I did have a 3. I felt happy, then I woke up.

I would guess the dream represents how I feel around people, even family. I need to be like them to fit in. Everything I do should match up with other people so they will love me. I don't want to be different. I want to fit in. I want to please people, and if I don't, I feel devastated.

I've known this about myself, but I guess I need to face it and pray about it. It was frightening to make a mistake when I was young because my father could become very angry. He never believed me if I said I didn't know something was wrong. He would say, "Don't give me that. You know better." I didn't really. He always thought I was lying about things and when I was a teen he called me a slut. I had not had sex with any boy at the time, but after that I decided I didn't care anymore because he already thought I was having lots of sex. The only kind of sex I'd ever had was with him when I was younger.

Joyce Meyer says, "The only way out is through." She said that about her sexual abuse. She didn't want to deal with it, but God showed her she needed to. I've dealt with mine too, I think. But there are always going to be after-effects of our childhoods. No one gets completely away from that. It is a large part of who we are.

Thankfully, God tells us, "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come."


I am a new person compared to the person I was before I met Jesus. Giving my life to him was the best decision I ever made. He has made many parts of my life so beautiful. My most precious dream was to have children. He gave me two daughters and now 7 grandchildren. I feel most blessed, my dream came true and he multiplied it. One day I will live with God in heaven - my most precious dream now.

He never sleeps
He never slumbers
He never tires of hearing our prayers
When we are weak
He becomes stronger
So rest in his love
Cast all of your cares on him.


From "He Never Sleeps," by Don Moen.

Update on My Family.

My granddaughters left to right: Hope, Faith and Cherish.

In my previous post, "The Meltdown of a Christian", I wrote about some trials my family is going through. I want to thank you for your prayers and tell you what is going on now.

My sister-in-law, Heather, is trusting in the Lord about her cancer. She knows he could heal her or allow her to die and has accepted that. She loves God and is close to him. She is living her life in faith, and for that we all rejoice.

My niece, who hurt herself at work, has received Worker's Compensation, and is slowly healing. She won't be able to work for at least three weeks, but hopefully she will be able to use her arm again.

My granddaughter, Hope, recovered from her dislocated kneecap. She didn't have much pain at all after the incident, for which I was extremely thankful. She stayed at my apartment all week and we had a lovely time together. She is a lot of fun. She has to strengthen her muscles or her knee will just come out again. She asked if they could operate, but they told her they only do that after multiple dislocations. She is pretty scared of doing it again. I told her to keep it wrapped or wear her knee brace all the time. That is hard news for a 21-year-old to hear. I'm sure she will start exercising when they tell her to start.

My grandson could not quit drugs cold-turkey, so he is going back to the Methadone Clinic. He was on that for two years and could work and function. This is better than the alternative, so we accept this and pray he will one day be off all drugs.

My husband saw his neurologist and will have back surgery and be off work for 6 months. But he is covered by insurance at work and will receive the same paycheck and we live in Canada so everything is paid for. I'm so thankful for all that. The surgery is not dangerous.

I wrote that one of my daughters needed money. Well, my mother, who has a bit of money, gave her $1,500. My daughter was so happy she was crying and then my mom started crying. My daughter doesn't like to take help from her, but like my mom said, "What am I going to do with my money? Take a trip? I can barely walk from my bedroom to the living room."

So, as usual, God has been with us all and helped us all through our problems and sorrows. He is an amazing God and powerful one who can come into our hearts and minds and give us peace and comfort.

"...I am always with you;

you hold me by my right hand.

You guide me with your counsel,

and afterward you will take me into glory.

Whom have I in heaven but you?

And earth has nothing I desire besides you.

My flesh and my heart may fail,

but God is the strength of my heart

and my portion forever."

Psalm 73:23-26

A Glimpse.

Sometimes I get a glimpse of what I would be like without God in my life. Last night, I had a terrible time getting to sleep. As soon as I would nod off, my brain would jerk me awake. This happened three times. I felt so upset and discouraged, I prayed and finally fell asleep.

This morning, my daughter and granddaughter came over at 11:00 am. They woke me (how nice, lol) and we were visiting in the living room. My granddaughter turned on the TV and there were some people on it who were laughing and enjoying themselves. I looked at them and thought, "Yeah, sure, laugh it up." I felt angry at their happiness.

I told my daughter what I was feeling and she was shocked. I said, "It's a good thing I pray each morning before I get up or I would be the biggest bitch in this city." My granddaughter laughed, but I know that is the truth. Without God, I would be angry, bitter, cynical and jealous of other people's happiness. Sheesh, what a mess I am.

The things I write on my blog about living a Christian life are concepts I ardently believe in. Living them is something else. I try, but of course I stumble and fall. The carnal part of me, as Joyce Meyer points out, sometimes takes over. But I know that when I stumble, it's a chance to learn something about myself that I can talk over with God. I don't let it discourage me anymore. It's a good thing to be humbled.

Jesus and Jacob Wrestling with God.

In my last post, I wrote about feeling overwhelmed. I said I thought Jesus was overwhelmed at Gethsemane when he pleaded with his Father to find another way to save the human race. Jesus felt the sins of the world pressing down upon him and felt like it was killing him. He said, "My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death. Stay here and keep watch with me."

 After Jesus continued praying and great drops of blood came from his forehead, God sent an angel to strengthen him. God will do this for all of us who are overwhelmed.

Jesus is our model of what to do when we feel afraid and desperate. What did he do? He prayed; he prayed until he received help. He didn't pray for awhile, get up and do something else. No, he stayed where he was and prayed until he could face what was happening.

This reminded me of Jacob, who was afraid of dying by his brother's hand. The Bible says he was in great fear and distress. He was alone by the river. A man came and touched him; Jacob thought he was an enemy and wrestled with him, but as the night wore on, he realized it was a holy person.

 Then he (God) said, "Let me go, for the dawn is breaking." But Jacob said, "I will not let you go unless you bless me."

Then the man (God) said, "Your name will no longer be Jacob, but Israel, because you have struggled with God and with humans and have overcome."   Genesis 32:28

Jamieson-Fausset-Brown Bible Commentary

"I will not let thee go, except thou bless me,"—It is evident that Jacob was aware of the character of Him with whom he wrestled; and, believing that His power, though by far superior to human, was yet limited by His promise to do him good, he determined not to lose the golden opportunity of securing a blessing. And nothing gives God greater pleasure than to see the hearts of His people firmly adhering to Him.

One Bible commentator wrote that Jacob had believed in God previously, but also trusted in his own strength to get things done. That night by the river, Jacob knew he could do nothing to help himself. God had to do everything for him so he and his family could live. That is why he wouldn't let go. He had to know God would save them.

I have a lot to learn about the power of prayer. I am no example to anyone on the subject of prayer. But a few times, when I was severely depressed, I did say to God, "I'm not getting out of bed, and I'm not going to stop praying and reading the Bible until I feel better."  Previously, I had been forcing myself to get up and face the day. Well, that prayer always ended up with me feeling better about the coming day. The Lord did bless my perseverance.

Some of us don't have the luxury of not getting out of bed in the morning. Lol  I do because I'm retired. So, for those who are working, taking care of children, doing housework and yard work, I would say, pray as often as you can and as long as you can when you are overwhelmed. Pray while you are working at home, pray at your lunch hour, pray when the kids are in bed. Keep praying, God will bless you. No doubt about it.

The Melt-Down of a Christian.

From the end of the earth, I will call to you, when my heart is overwhelmed. Lead me to the rock that is higher than I. 

For You have been a refuge for me, A tower of strength against the enemy.

Let me dwell in Your tent forever; Let me take refuge in the shelter of Your wings. 

Psalm 61:2-4

Therefore my spirit is overwhelmed within me; My heart is appalled within me.

I remember the days of old; I meditate on all Your doings; I muse on the work of Your hands.

I stretch out my hands to You; My soul longs for You, as a parched land. 

Psalm 146:3-6

For the first time in a very long time, today I was thinking about death with longing in my heart. I looked at the sunset, and wished I never had to see another one. These are familiar thoughts for me, but because of Joyce Meyer's teachings, I haven't had them for a long time. 

My heart has been overwhelmed this week. As the Psalmist said, my heart has been appalled within me. So, I began looking up Scripture, like the two verses above. I quoted Scripture, and remembered how God had helped me through these things in the past, and I felt at peace. 

When my emotions had calmed down, I talked with God about how I never seem to get used to the fact I live in a fallen, sinful world where people die and get hurt; I'm continually shocked when I read the newspaper at how horrible this world can be. How many years do I have to live here before life doesn't shock or depress me? 

My family is going through some trials right now. I don't mind going through trials myself, (well, I do) but I loathe seeing anyone else suffering. It feels like my heart is breaking. Right now, my sweet sister-in-law of my sister Liz, has been told her cancerous tumor has shrunk, but it is still at stage 4, which is terminal. 

My niece was injured at work last week. She works for a TV show doing hair and make-up. She was loading the truck with her stuff when the driver lurched forward. Her arm was stuck and it was pulled and wrenched and she can't use it now. I hope it will heal completely, but who knows?

Yesterday, my granddaughter's kneecap was pulled sideways out of its socket. She was screaming in pain and the paramedics had to knock her out to get her into the ambulance. They gave her pain pills that put her in a delirium. She thought she was in Interstellar with Matthew Mcconaughy.  Then she came out of it, they wrapped her knee and she went home. Later she had a panic attack and had to go back to the hospital. She is scared stiff the knee will come out again. They put a splint on it. She can't move for a week. She is coming to my place for me to take care of while her boyfriend is at work.

My youngest daughter had to move to Lethbridge, Alberta from Princeton, BC in JANUARY- in CANADA!  If you live in Canada, you know what that can mean. Well, the weather was good until the last two hours when a blizzard hit. She couldn't see the sides of the road through the mountains. She was following her husband's car and she felt he was going too fast so she just broke down and sobbed and sobbed while driving until they reached Lethbridge. At least she made it, but I worry about her poor psyche.

My grandson is still trying to get off drugs and is having a terrible time. He went to rehab, left and now had decided to take a drug at a drug clinic that may help him get off his drugs. His mom has been staying with him for the last month, trying to help him cut back, get clean etc. She looks like she has been through hell - and she has. I went with her to his place when he was in rehab for a day and a night. There are cigarette burns everywhere - all over his new sofa, all over his bed and on the new carpet. I was horrified, and wondered why the place hadn't gone up in flames by now. I guess I can thank God and fire-retardant chemicals for that. His mom told me when he is doing his drug of choice he falls asleep when he is smoking.

My husband has bones rubbing together and has to have back surgery soon. I have fibromyalgia every day and I've had a horrible cold for two weeks and have had to sit up to sleep for a week. One of my daughters needs money and we have none to give her. My mom lives with us and is extremely weak and frail.

There. I could go on, but I'll spare you if you have made it down the page this far. Yes, I feel overwhelmed and my heart hurts.

Thinking of how God has helped me in the past, I remember he saw me through the death of my other grandson, he gave me strength to take care of my mother when she was much sicker than she is now, he was with me through my husband's cancer and subsequent illnesses, he has helped me with fibromyalgia.

God has led me to the rock that is higher than I - Jesus. I look at his courage and his steadfast life with his Father and I know he can help me. He was assailed from many directions but he kept his peace. I can't see Jesus running around wondering what to do. No, he wasn't like that.

Jesus did feel overwhelmed in the garden of Gethsemane. God sent an angel to strengthen him, and God does that for us today. And he himself stands beside us to give us hope and strength. The Bible says he holds us by our right hand.  

"For I am the LORD your God, who upholds your right hand, Who says to you, 'Do not fear, I will help you.'"  Isaiah 41:13

One thing God brought to my mind this morning,is to live one day at a time. I should not look ahead to wonder how well I can look after Hope or how long my sweet sister Heather will live. Jesus told us, "So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."  Matthew 6:34