A Christmas Eve Miracle.

 

Christmas Eve I was at my daughter’s house with many members of my family. They started talking about a couple with two children. They were my son-in-law’s relatives. They had just been to visit them and were happy to see how that couple were relating to each other. “They were smiling at each other, holding hands and whispering in each other’s ears,” they said. I asked how the children were doing and they said they seemed happy.

For me, this was a miracle, because I had begun praying for them a few weeks before Christmas. I knew the children were troubled and I was worried about them. I asked God to be in their home and to help them. I saw this transformation as an evidence of God’s work. He always makes life better if people are open to him.

Last year, I started praying for two people who hosted the podcast, “Pivot.” The woman on the podcast said she didn’t understand it, but she had started having feelings about going to church. I was elated and thanked God for sending the Holy Spirit to encourage her to do this.

God has worked in many miraculous ways in my life and my family’s lives, but it is lovely when you see him work in people’s lives whom you don’t even know and live thousands of miles away.

Prayer is powerful because God is powerful. He is the King of the Universe yet left heaven and became a human baby in order to save us. He wants us in his family. He loves family, he created it.

You Can't Bother God.

 

I am one of the least qualified people in the world to write about prayer. I’m not a Bible scholar or a great prayer warrior. I’m just me, an ordinary person. But because of the discussions between myself and my sister and because I keep coming across podcasts on prayer, I felt compelled to share a few thoughts.

When I was first a Christian, at age 19, I used to beg God for things. I felt fearful and out of control of certain people and things in my life, so I begged, which did not lead to peace of mind.

I realized later that Jesus didn’t pray that way. When he was distressed and frightened about dying on a cross and having the world’s sins on his heart, he asked God that if it was possible to please take it away. But he ended his prayers with, “Nevertheless, not my will, but your will be done.”

So, I quit begging and ended my prayers in the same way Jesus did. I had also learned, through trial and error, that God’s way was always the best way.  Because of the disastrous consequences of trying to answer my own prayers by my own ideas and efforts, I gave everything to him to decide. I thought I was done with begging.

Then last week, my sister had a chance to perhaps live in a motel instead of her van. She told me how much better she felt physically because she slept well. I told her I would pray for her to be able to move into the motel.

As soon as I started praying, I could feel my emotions rise with desperation for her. I wanted so much for her to get out of homelessness. Her life wasn’t horrible, she was staying in campgrounds, which were free because she is a war veteran, but still, I knew how cramped she was in that van.

I stopped myself from begging, but the thought came into my mind, “How can I twist God’s arm to let her be able to live in that motel?” Hmm, I was pretty horrified to hear my mind thinking that. I told my sister later and we had a good laugh. She wasn’t able to stay there. They couldn’t let people stay more than three weeks. My sister is fine with that. She trusts God.

The next day, I listened to Tim Keller speak about prayer. He believed since Jesus gave parables about people who “bothered” others, then we should not feel bad about bothering God about what we need or want. The first parable was about a man who needed bread for visitors who had come to his house unexpectedly. He didn’t have enough food, so he went to his friend’s house at midnight knocking on the door. He woke the friend up who responded, “Don’t bother me. We are all in bed!” But the man wouldn’t give up and kept knocking until his friend got up and gave him food.

The second parable was about a widow who had been cheated out of her money. She kept going back to the same judge over and over to get justice. The judge didn’t care about the widow but he finally said to himself, “This woman is going to wear me out. I might as well give her what she wants.”

Jesus said the parables meant not to give up when you are praying. You can bring your concerns to him over and over again. You can’t bother God.

I do have some prayers I pray every single day. Those are the prayers for my family and other people. I know these prayers make a difference. I know God looks after these people because I ask.

There is a way to pray I’ve learned lately that I really like. I listen to audio Bible and as she reads the verses, I pray along. If the Bible says, “Praise the Lord,” I pray it. If it says, “Obey God,” I say, “Help me to obey you.” If it says, “The Lord is a shield around me, he is my glory and the lifter of my head.” I repeat the verse. It’s an easy and lovely way to pray, using God’s own words.

The last thing I will share is I often pray the Lord’s Prayer. Because it starts with, “Our Father… I pray it for me and my family.

 

 

 

Wrestling with God.

 

Art by Maurice Denis.

I thought I would share something that has been very helpful in my walk with God. About 10 years ago, I was very depressed, day after day. One morning I said to God, “I’m not leaving this bed until I feel better.” So, I lay there telling God all my feelings and all the things going on in my life that made me sad. I asked for courage to face the day and for some kind of hope.

After maybe an hour, I did feel better and got up. That one lesson taught me what it meant to wrestle with God. I remembered Jacob who in the Bible, wrestled with God all night. When God said to him, “Let me go for it is morning.” Jacob said, “I won’t let you go until you bless me.”

I would have thought that a bit presumptuous, but God didn’t. He asked, “What is your name?” 

“Jacob,” he replied.

God said, “Your name will no longer be Jacob, but Israel, (Def: He struggles with God.) because you have struggled with God and with men, and have prevailed.”

I’m not a Bible scholar. I’m not altogether sure what Jacob’s struggle means except that when I told God I wouldn’t stop praying until I felt better, my circumstance felt similar to his. Jacob was trapped by his brother coming to meet him, perhaps with the intent to kill him. I was trapped by my sad feelings that would not go away.

Jesus said, “Peace I leave with you, my peace I give to you. I do not give as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.”  John 14:27

How Long, Lord?

 

The Book of Habakkuk from the Dead Sea Scrolls

Quite a few people in the Bible have asked God, “How long do I have to put up with this?” Even Jesus asked this question when his disciples and the Pharisees (religious leaders) were arguing. Mark 9:19 He was human as well as divine and knows how we feel.

Habakkuk was a prophet during a time when the king and leaders of Jerusalem were especially wicked. This was in the late 500s BC. The Bible doesn’t tell us anything about Habakkuk, but we can see what he is like through his prayers.

“O LORD, how long shall I cry for help,
and you will not hear?
Or cry to you “Violence!”
and you will not save?

Why do you make me see iniquity,
and why do you idly look at wrong?
Destruction and violence are before me;
strife and contention arise.
So the law is paralyzed,
and justice never goes forth.
For the wicked surround the righteous;
so justice goes forth perverted.”   Habakkuk 1:2-4

God answers and tells Habakkuk he will punish these rulers of Jerusalem by sending the Babylonians to destroy them and the city. The Lord had told many prophets this and had warned the people of Jerusalem for years.

God said, “They have built high places to Baal on which to burn their children in the fire as offerings to Baal—something I never commanded or mentioned, nor did it even enter My mind.” Jeremiah 19:5

Isaiah the prophet wrote about the people of Judah:

 “Your hands are the hands of murderers, and your fingers are filthy with sin. Your lips are full of lies, and your mouth spews corruption. No one enters suit justly; no one goes to law honestly; they rely on empty pleas, they speak lies, they conceive mischief and give birth to iniquity. They hatch deadly snakes and weave spiders’ webs. Whoever eats their eggs will die; whoever cracks them will hatch a viper. 

Their feet rush into sin; they are swift to shed innocent blood. They pursue evil schemes; acts of violence mark their ways. The way of peace they do not know; there is no justice in their paths. They have turned them into crooked roads; no one who walks along them will know peace. So, justice is far from us, and righteousness does not reach us. We look for light, but all is darkness; for brightness, but we walk in deep shadows."
 Isaiah 59:3-9

I’m not so sure Habakkuk was happy with God’s answer. At first, he acknowledges the right of God to punish, but then he told God what he thought of the Babylonians and asked, “Is he to keep destroying nations without mercy?”

Then Habakkuk says something bold,

“I will take my stand at my watchpost
and station myself on the tower,
and look out to see what he will say to me,
and what I will answer concerning my complaint.”

We can also pray like this. We can ask God anything and then wait for an answer. I’ve done this many times and he has always answered my questions. Either he puts the answer in my mind, I find it in the Bible or gives me a dream. My sister Liz asked God a question about 15 years ago and recently got the answer. She laughed about that, but it just shows that God will answer one day. We must be patient.

God tells Habakkuk to write down what he is going to tell him so many can read it. His answer to this question is long and I believe is not just about the king of Babylon. It looks to me like a judgment of the nations of all the world. And he specifically says, “For still the vision awaits its appointed time; it hastens to the end—it will not lie. If it seems slow, wait for it; it will surely come; it will not delay.  Habakkuk 2:3

The Pulpit Commentary says:

“The prophecy personified yearns for its fulfilment in "the end," not merely at the destruction of the literal Babylon, but in the time of the end - the last time, the Messianic age, when the world power, typified by Babylon, should be overthrown.”

In verse 4, God compares the wicked and the righteous by saying, “Behold, his soul is puffed up; it is not upright within him, but the righteous shall live by his faith.”  Instead of relying on their own strength, those who follow God live by faith in the strength of God.

So, what does God say? It seems to me I should copy down everything from Habakkuk from this point to the end of the book, but I won’t do that to you. It would be good to find the book online and read it, asking God to help you understand.

Suffice it to say, God tells of the evils the nations have done; how they have hurt the innocent. In chapter 3 he moves on to judgement, when he will come down and allow the earth to be destroyed while he saves those who are waiting for him. They are hiding from their persecutors, but he knows where they are.

When this earth is dying from global warming, which will cause heat from the sun to burn our food and people, then Jesus will return and rescue those who believe in him. This is told in the book of Revelation and is one of the last plagues to fall on earth.

“The fourth angel poured out his bowl on the sun, and it was allowed to scorch people with fire.”  Revelation 16:8

God doesn’t cause the sun to burn us, be he allows the world to reap what it has sown. We have sown chemicals into the earth and sky and one day they will rain down on us. But there is hope in God. He will save those who wait on him. Jesus will come the second time in the clouds of heaven and call us to himself.

“I have made you and I will carry you;

I will sustain you and I will rescue you.”  Isaiah 46:4

 

 

 

 

 

God is Waiting on Us.

 

I give permission for anyone to copy my posts on Wordpress.

“And yet will the Lord wait, that he may be gracious to you, and because of this he will be exalted. He longs to have mercy on you, for the Lord is a God of judgement. Blessed are all they who wait for him.”   Isaiah 30:18

In the book, “Waiting on God,” Andrew Murry points out that not only are we to wait patiently on God, but that God waits patiently on us.

Murray writes, “Look up and see the great God upon his throne. He is love…and has an inexpressible desire to communicate his goodness to all his creatures… He waits with all the longings of a father’s heart. And each time you come to wait upon him, or seek to maintain in daily life the habit of waiting, you may look up and see him ready to meet with you.”

There is a picture in the Bible of God waiting for us. It is in the story of the prodigal son, who left his father and home to go into the world to find happiness. The son finds fun, but no lasting happiness and decides to go home and ask to be a servant in his father’s house.

But the father is watching the road. He is waiting and hoping for his son to return. And when he sees him coming down the road, the father jumps up and runs; he runs until he is with his son and he hugs him and welcomes him with open arms.

This is a picture of God waiting for us. And even if we are Christians and have given our lives to God, he waits each day for us to come spend time with him – telling him about our thoughts and feelings. Asking him for wisdom, and reading in the Bible those things he would like us to do. He waits, and sometimes he waits all day for us to come give him some attention and we ignore him. He wants to share our lives with him. We need to share our lives with him.

If I had shared my deepest pain with him on a certain day, I wouldn’t have taken sleeping pills and passed out. He would have taken my pain and helped me through the problem of my aching heart. He would have shown me that he is bigger than any pain this world can give.

C.S. Lewis told a friend that after 30 years of praying, he had finally forgiven someone who had betrayed him. I think perhaps he meant he finally had the feeling of anger and hate gone towards that person. I think if we say, “I forgive this person,” then we have forgiven. Our feelings confuse us and lead us astray. But still, it took 30 years for his feelings to catch up with his wanting to forgive. So, this may be a kind of waiting on God. Waiting means staying with God and not giving up, like being tired of waiting in line at a store and finally giving up and leaving. No, we must stay in Jesus, because he is our only hope in this life.

Jesus said, “Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me. I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing. If anyone does not abide in me, he is thrown away like a branch and withers; and the branches are gathered, thrown into the fire, and burned.”   John 15:4-6

Murry writes, “The giver is more than the gift; God is more than the blessings he gives. And our being kept waiting on him could be the only way for our learning to find our life and joy are in him himself. Oh, if only God’s children knew what a glorious God they have, and what a privilege it is to be linked in fellowship with him, then they would rejoice in Him!”

(I changed a few words when I was quoting Murry. He speaks in old English, so I cut a few words or changed them a bit. The book is well worth buying.)

 

 

 

(I do not use my husband’s name in my posts at his request.)

On September 30 I wrote a post about my husband having a stroke. We brought him home Thursday, October 13. He made tremendous progress while at the hospital rehabilitation unit. He can now walk on his own, dress himself, and even check things out on the computer.

He has a bit of trouble with his short-term memory and his whole body feels numb and tingly, which is very uncomfortable. He is taking pain medication for that and it really helps. He is also extremely tired and lays down for most of the day. They said his cognitive abilities are at 85%.

I am supposed to help him by playing word games with him and giving him tasks to do, such as tying knots, picking up buttons, putting screws into nuts etc. Fine motor skills are what he needs to learn to do again. I noticed the longer we played the word game the harder it became for him to think up answers. His head starts to hurt too, so we will be more careful next time.

I want to thank all the doctors and nurses who cared for my husband. They were super kind and thoughtful and of course they were instrumental in saving his life. Many of them told me how much they adored my hubby.

And I want to thank everyone for their prayers. So many strangers told me they were praying for him; I’m talking about the people on the phone who I had to call about finances etc. The people I used to see and say hi to as I walk out to the parking lot knew Dan had had a stroke and told me they were praying for him. It was just lovely to know that.

We are so grateful to God for letting Dan live. As I’ve said before, I know that isn’t always the result of prayers for the sick. But I also believe it is God who chooses when each person will die and I guess my husband has more work to do for God.

My two daughters came and stayed with me the whole time he was in the hospital. I didn’t realize how much that would help me until they came. My granddaughters were running errands for me and giving me support. My grandson came over to see his Grandpa the day he came home and started quietly crying when he saw how good Grandpa looked. I guess he had googled “stroke” and was afraid for him.

There were two other men in the hospital room with my husband who had had strokes. They were both doing very well, even the man who was 47 and had gotten an infection in his brain after his stroke. He was healing very well; could walk and talk and looked perfectly normal. The other man was 89 and the hardest thing for him was missing his wife who lived in a far-away city and couldn’t come because of Covid-19. But he did talk with her 3 times a day. He was improving too.

So sometimes a stroke isn’t as bad as it may start out to be. My husband is on a low-salt diet and blood pressure pills. We have a cuff to monitor his blood pressure and we do that about 4 times a day. It has been perfect numbers since he came home.

Thanks again for your good wishes and prayers.

(Everyone has permission to copy or use my posts for any reason.)

 

 

 

 

My Husband's Stroke.

 

The moon surrounded by clouds, My own photo.

Two weeks ago, my husband had a “massive stroke.” The doctor called us and told us to prepare for the worst. They told my daughters, who live 6 hours away to, “Leave now.” So, they did. We called all our family and all his family. Everyone started praying.

Because I have been a Christian for 50 years and there have been other deaths in our family, I believed God knew what he was doing, (which wasn’t always the case.). I told God I knew my husband was in his hands and I trusted him to do what was best for all of us.

My husband lived for a day, and then another day and began rapidly improving. The doctors were stunned. His speech was slurring slightly and his face drooped a bit, but he could move his left arm and leg, which had been paralyzed.

He seemed to have all his past memories intact, but his short-term memories would come and go. He wasn’t sure why he was in the hospital each morning and he had forgotten about the pandemic. He asked me on the phone why I hadn’t come to visit, so my daughter made a sign to hang by his bed which explained about Covid-19 and that we weren’t allowed to visit.

At the beginning, when the doctors thought he was dying, they allowed me into the ICU to see him. In order to get past the front desk of the hospital, I had to say, “My husband is dying.” Those words felt strange to me, as if I was lying to them, as if it couldn’t possibly be true.

I held my husband’s hand and we spoke awhile until he fell asleep. I was glad he knew who I was and could respond. He was shocked he had a stroke. He thought it was carcinoid tumors, which he has had for over 20 years, that had caused this illness.

The next day, he seemed worse, more tired than before and barely spoke. I didn’t expect him to live much longer. But lo and behold, the next day he was joking with the nurses! He was weak, but alert. It was wonderful to see. They moved him out of ICU a few days later and put him in a regular ward.

Well, there was a lot of rejoicing in the family, as you can imagine. We thank God for healing him. I know God does not heal everyone from an illness. If he did, then no one would die and we would be pretty crowded here on earth. Death is a part of life and I accept that. I want to thank him here on this blog, for giving me his comfort, strength and love during this hard time. This is his greatest gift to the world. He gave these things to me when my grandson died and I knew he would do it again.

God’s peace inside me is something I want the world to know, because those who don’t believe in God don’t realize what they are missing. I wish everyone would give God a chance to show them what he can do. He is light, love, mercy, forgiveness, peace, and joy.

“You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you.”   Isaiah 26:3

Have I always had perfect peace? No. It took me many years to learn to trust God. I had been abused as a child by my father, so learning to trust God was very hard for me. But the longer my mind was, “stayed on God,” the more I began to trust. I used to rage and wail against the dark things in my life, but no more. I’ve found that in the deepest dark I am actually learning and growing as a person. And God is there standing beside me, giving me strength and hope.

God says:

“I have upheld you and carried you since the day you were born. Even to your old age and grey hairs, I am he.

I have made you; I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you.”     Isaiah 46:3,4

Anyone can used my blog writings for any reason. 

Fear in Times of Trouble.

These are trying times for everyone. We can’t see the future and feel powerless over the COVID-19 virus. We are used to having some control over our lives and that seems to be gone. Most of us have lives of trying to cope with problems without the virus; with the virus, life can feel overwhelming.


I am taking care of my 92-year-old mother. The doctor recently prescribed morphine for her because her constant angina wasn’t letting her sleep for more than an hour or two at a time. I’ve been trying one pill, then two pills. If she doesn’t have enough food in her stomach before taking the pill, she gets nauseated and sometimes vomits. I’ve found the solution in giving her a bowl of cereal before she goes to bed; that seems to work the best with one pill at night.


My heart overturns sometimes when I look at my mom. She is so weak and fragile and feels yucky a lot of the time. I wish none of this was happening to her, but I am powerless over her illness.


Each day I pray for God’s strength and he always gives it to me. But last night I watched a video online that showed a woman in her 90s who got the virus and lived through it. I’m so glad she did, but what she described was truly awful and painful. I began to feel deep fear about getting the virus. I'm not afraid of death, but I am afraid of pain.


As I was praying later that night, I was reminded of the many people in the Bible who were close to God and suffered greatly. It felt like the Lord was telling me I shouldn’t expect a life with no suffering; he never promises that.  Jesus said, “Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.” John 16:33


When I think of how David was running and hiding from King Saul for 20 years, I can understand why he wrote Psalms of sorrow and fear. When I think of Daniel and his friends being taken away from their homes and families in Jerusalem and made to be slaves for the king of Babylon, I think of the long journey there. They were forced to walk for miles and miles before they arrived. Perhaps they saw their parents and siblings killed when Jerusalem fell. Their faith in God was surely tested.


Jeremiah and Isaiah both suffered greatly because they spoke out for God. They did what God asked them to do yet were jailed. Jewish history says Isaiah was sawn in half by King Manasseh. Jeremiah was hunted down and hated by the rulers of Jerusalem. It is only because of the king’s mercy that he stayed alive until the city fell.


In the New Testament, the disciples of Jesus were persecuted and all died from murder except John. Paul writes about the Thessalonians who had all their property taken away because they became Christians. Thousands lost their lives to different emperors of Rome.


These are some of the sufferings of Paul that he wrote about in 2 Corinthians:

In my frequent journeys, I have been in danger from rivers and from bandits, in danger from my countrymen and from the Gentiles, in danger in the city and in the country, in danger on the sea and among false brothers, in labor and toil and often without sleep, in hunger and thirst and often without food, in cold and exposure. Verses 26,27


…in harder labor, in more imprisonments, in worse beatings, in frequent danger of death. Five times I received from the Jews the forty lashes minus one. Three times I was beaten with rods, once I was stoned, three times I was shipwrecked. I spent a night and a day in the open sea. Verses, 23-25


For myself I can say, I don’t really know what it is to suffer like Paul. Still, I have my own sufferings and I know God sympathizes with me; he walks with me through my sufferings; he gives me strength to bear up under them but he doesn’t always take them away. 


I believe Jesus is returning very soon. If that is so, the COVID-19 virus is only the beginning of suffering at this time. I was reading Isaiah chapter 24 this morning and came across the condition of the world at the time of the end: Verses 4-6 
  

The earth mourns and withers;
the world languishes and withers;
the highest people of the earth languish.


The earth lies defiled (polluted)
under its inhabitants;
for they have transgressed the laws,
violated the statutes,
broken the everlasting covenant.

Therefore, a curse devours the earth,
and its inhabitants suffer for their guilt;
therefore the inhabitants of the earth are scorched,
and few men are left.

Jesus said in Matthew 24:21-26 For at that time there will be great tribulation, unmatched from the beginning of the world until now, and never to be seen again. If those days had not been cut short, nobody would be saved. But for the sake of the elect, those days will be cut short. 

At that time, if anyone says to you, ‘Look, here is the Christ!’ or ‘There He is,’ do not believe it. For false Christs and false prophets will appear and perform great signs and wonders that would deceive even the elect, if that were possible. See, I have told you in advance. )

So if they tell you, ‘There He is in the wilderness,’ do not go out; or, ‘Here He is in the inner rooms,’ do not believe it. For just as the lightning comes from the east and flashes as far as the west, so will be the coming of the Son of Man. 

In Daniel 12:1-4, it says “At that time Michael, the great prince who stands watch over your people, will rise up. There will be a time of trouble, the likes of which will not have occurred from the beginning of nations until that time. But at that time your people—everyone whose name is found written in the book—will be delivered. 

And many who sleep in the dust of the earth will awake, some to everlasting life, but others to shame and everlasting contempt. Then the wise will shine like the brightness of the heavens, and those who lead many to righteousness will shine like the stars forever and ever. 

But you, Daniel, shut up these words and seal the book until the time of the end. Many will roam to and fro and knowledge will increase.” 

One of the best things Jesus said was, “Don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will have itself to think about. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”  Matthew 6:34

I heard something online today that lifted my heart. It was, "I am not a strong rock, but I stand on one.

God and the Virus.

Well, it has been an interesting year so far. Of course, the virus is the big thing, but then there are the other trials of life on top of it. My mother has been having more health problems and sleeping problems, my oldest daughter’s marriage is over, my husband is waiting for back surgery and I had two teeth pulled out last Friday and have felt sick ever since. Also, I need new glasses only 6 months after getting new ones. I turned 70 the other day and I still need to lose weight. I started dieting when I was 11. (There have been slim years and other years. Lol)


Jesus said, “Love not the world…” I can honestly say I do not.


The virus and God. I’m sure there are people saying God sent this virus because we are such terrible people and he is punishing us. This theme comes up whenever there is a disaster. 


Does God punish people? The Bible shows us that he does do that sometimes. But unless you are a prophet, you don’t know why anything is happening. I think we should leave all speculation behind. This virus came by eating unclean animals or some germ-warfare escaping from a lab.


I live in Canada and we are getting more virus cases every day. Pretty well everything has shut down. My husband is working from home; thousands upon thousands of people have been laid-off their jobs. Our government is going to make sure those who cannot work from home are taken care of. I’m happy about that. It is always the working poor that suffer the most.


My mom, who is 92, my husband and I are vulnerable to this virus. If we ever get it, we could easily die. We all have serious health issues. But we aren’t afraid and that’s all because of Jesus, his Father and the Holy Spirit. They live in our hearts and the three of us believe if we die, we will be with God in person (a hugely exciting thought); if we live, then God has a good reason for that. 

I don’t think anyone on earth dies without God’s permission. You can read about that in the first chapters of the book of Job. Satan was only allowed to do so much to Job. He was not allowed to kill him.


One thing about this virus is it may make people stop and think about how short life is and perhaps some will start praying and learning about God. People will have time now to meditate on their lives and the meaning of life. Our culture is so full of busyness and distractions, we hardly have time to think. Also, I am sure there will be a baby boom in nine months!


All I can say is that if you want peace during times like this, give your life to God and he will flood you with his peace. He is the one full of love, goodness and peace. We are the ones filled with worry, fear and hatred. He will fill you with himself if you ask him, and keep asking him every day. This exchange is not a one-time thing. It is a daily thing. We need him every moment of every day.

Sometimes We Feel Overwhelmed. Like Every Day.

Photo by: Jukka from HELSINKI, Finland

“From the end of the earth I will cry to You; when my heart is overwhelmed, lead me to the rock that is higher than I.”   Psalm 61:2


I’ve been feeling overwhelmed lately, and yes, I cried out to God and he lifted me to stand on the rock, Jesus. I often wonder how people manage life without Jesus.


My mother is 92, and has been living with us for around 4 years. There have been many ups and downs in her health. We have called for an ambulance at least 5 times. She broke her hip, had an operation, got an infection, was diagnosed with colon cancer and had heart attacks. She sleeps a lot, but still eats (not very much) and enjoys watching TV, playing Yahtzee and reading magazines. Her short-term memory is gone, so she has had to stop reading books.


Two or three weeks ago, she started coughing a lot. It wasn’t a cold, so I took her to the doctor. It turned out she has acid reflux so bad that she had burned her throat. She had had no symptoms of acid reflux, so I was surprised. But the doctor was right, after giving her the new medicine she got better. She started sleeping through the night again.


As soon as she was a bit better, her sciatic nerve went wonky and she was in terrible pain one morning. She would scream at the slightest move. It was so hard for her to get out of bed, go to the bathroom – just everything. 


But I thank God for the internet. I looked up sciatic pain and one of the things an article said was it can be caused by slumping in your chair. Well, Mom was slumping lately. She said she was comfy when she was doing it, but I told her it might be causing her sciatica to give her pain. I started watching and having her sit up straight when she was up.


It worked. I gave her pills for the pain too, of course, but she has needed less and less medication. She can move around easily now.


All this time I have called out to God for help because I wasn’t getting enough sleep. Night after night being woken by my poor mom was making me feel exhausted. (Like new parents with a baby – very difficult, I know.) But believe me, God came through, like he always does and I was able to take care of my mom. I’m so grateful to Him.


This morning, I was thinking about my grandson, who has had an off and on addiction to heroin. Actually, I think about him every day and pray for him. His life has been so sad it just brings me to tears to think of him. We all love him so much and it has been so painful for everyone in the family to see how he has suffered.


Thinking about him makes my heart sink and I knew I was thinking too much because I was getting depressed. Maybe because I’ve been so tired too. I was feeling overwhelmed. So, I prayed and went to do my Bible study. I’ve been writing out the Bible in my own words, hoping to put the words deep in my heart.


What I read really encouraged me and I want to share it with you. It is from Philippians 3. The whole chapter is beautiful, and I will share that some other time, but these are the words that helped me the most this morning:

Paul writes, “I want to know Jesus, yes, I want to know the power of his resurrection and also participate in his sufferings.”


This stopped me cold. Do I want to participate in his sufferings? No, I don’t. I am weak and a whiny baby. I want everything to be great and to not have any problems and I want to see everyone in my family to be well and happy with no problems.


Jesus suffered, but not only on the cross. He suffered when Lucifer and a whack of angels turned their backs on him. They were his children. He suffered when he saw the grief around him as he walked this earth. He suffered when his brothers made fun of him. He suffered when his earthly father, Joseph, died. He suffered when Judas betrayed him. He suffered when the church of his day rejected him and called him demon-possessed.


He suffers now. When I think someone in my family will not be saved, my heart melts from pain. He has to see those on earth, through the thousands of years we have been here, who reject his offer of eternal life. He loves them. He died for them. They are his children too. He says he was there the day they were born, hoping for them that they would have faith.


Do I want to participate in his sufferings? No, but I will pray that I will. I will pray God will give me the strength, because I have none. I will pray for the mind and heart of Jesus. I will pray he will fill me with himself, and I know he will do that for me, simply because I asked.

God Woke My Up to Pray.

Last week, I had a dream. I didn’t know at first if it was from God until I spoke with my husband when he came home from work. It then became evident the dream was from our Savior.

I dreamed I was in bed and woke up to get a drink of water. I walked in the living room and saw a glass floating in the air. I thought, “This is the work of Satan.”

I wasn’t afraid. I walked over to the glass and felt it and saw there was nothing holding it up. I then felt a cloud of evil around me. I said aloud, “In the name of Jesus Christ, go away Satan!” I felt half the cloud leave. I was surprised there was any evil left, so I said it again, “In the name of Jesus Christ, go away, Satan!” Then all the evil left the room. This was when I woke up.

My first thought was, “Something terrible is going to happen to someone in the family.” So, I prayed for God to be with us. I also wondered if the dream was from God, because I wasn’t really sure. It was a clear, strong dream, which is the way he has given me dreams in the past; but still, I didn’t understand the dream completely so I wasn’t sure.

When my husband came home, I told him the dream. He didn’t know what it meant either except maybe Satan was going to try to harm someone.

Then he said, “You won’t believe what happened to me today! We were driving to work, (he is in a carpool) and all of a sudden, a herd of deer ran out across the highway. I barely stopped in time. Then I flashed my lights so the people coming from the other direction would slow down, and they did. And then as we were nearing the city, I was going 60 miles an hour; we turned a corner and there was a dead dear laying across the lane I was in. I quickly shoulder-checked and there was no one next to me so I darted over and missed hitting the deer!” They were both very close-calls, and I was driving the sports car, not the SUV.”

Then he finished talking saying, “Two times in one morning!” I looked at him and immediately understood the dream. The Lord had me pray two times, not once, for Satan to be driven away from the family. My husband looked at me, and I could see he understood too.

We are so thankful to God for saving my husband and co-workers from two potentially terrible accidents. Who knows what may have happened to them. Only God. But he made a way of escape for them and I can’t thank him enough.

This morning, I was reading Psalm 30, which reminded me of what happened.

I will exalt you, Lord,
    for you lifted me out of the depths
    and did not let my enemies gloat over me.
 Lord my God, I called to you for help,
    and you healed me.
 You, Lord, brought me up from the realm of the dead;
    you spared me from going down to the pit. Verses 1-3

You turned my wailing into dancing;
    you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy,
 that my heart may sing your praises and not be silent.
    Lord my God, I will praise you forever. Verses 11, 12

We are all in a spiritual battle for our spirit, soul and body. Paul describes this in Ephesians.

“For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. “  Ephesians 6:12

Jesus prayed to his Father about his followers, “My prayer is not that you take them out of the world but that you protect them from the evil one.” John 17:15

I pray this quite often, and this time there was an urgent need for that kind of prayer, and God woke me to do it. Believe me when I say, I am the least of the followers of Jesus; and as my husband always says, “Don’t forget the Lord used an ass.” Lol. But I wanted to tell people, tell the world, what God did for us that day. I praise his holy name.