Our Past Follows Us.

 

My husband loves the dozens (actually, a lot more than that I think) of Christmas movies that are found on Netflix and Amazon Prime. He has always liked action movies too, but lately he has focused on these Christmas movies. I find most of them sappy and badly written, but some of them are really good.

Last night, when we were watching one, my husband said, “I like these kinds of movies because they show happy families. I grew up in an unhappy family so it’s nice to see.” I’m so glad he told me that, because as tough as my husband is, and anyone could tell you he is a tough guy, I wondered why he liked these movies.

I know someone who loves crime shows. But she only likes the ones where the criminal is caught. She wants to see that person go to jail or executed. I think she gravitates to these shows because in her childhood, her life was threatened by a family member in the middle of the night. She would wake up with a sharp knife at her throat.

I like to read books or watch movies about real people who have overcome great difficulty: abuse, neglect, an illness. I think I am always searching for answers how to overcome my past.

Years ago, I used to have a recurring dream. My father and I were in a bus; he was driving and I was in the passenger seat. I looked over at him and he was laughing maniacally while speeding along the highway. Then I would wake up.

After years of therapy and talking with God I began healing. One night I had the same dream, except this time I was driving and he was in the passenger seat. I was feeling peace.

I have healed quite a bit, but I’m not cured of my mental illness. I still have problems with how I see myself. I still have automatic thoughts that plague me. But I am better, by the grace of God who helps me every day.

I have to ask him for that help. I can’t sit back day by day leaving God out of my life. I need him. If I don’t give myself to him each day, I start waking up wishing I was dead. I start getting depressed and hopeless. He keeps me from all that by prayer so that even if these thoughts pop up, I know he will help me. I just say, “God, I don’t want to think that. Give me something good to think.” And he does.

May God help all of us who have psychological problems. They can be devastating, but may God give us strength to walk through them.

 

These Dark Days.

 

Photo by Peter Griffin

(I give permission for anyone to copy any of my posts.)

In these dark days, we need encouragement, hope and peace. God will give that to us in many ways. One way is asking him for them, another is listening to uplifting music. Somehow music feeds our soul. Like everything else on earth it can feed our souls for good or evil. The last few years, I have found music lifts my heart up to the heavens. The earth seems to fade away.

 Below I have printed the lyrics to a song that comforts me. This artist sings some of the most beautiful words I have heard in music. I hope you look him up and give his music a try.

 Always Good.

 Written and sung by Andrew Peterson

 Do You remember how Mary was grieving?

How You wept and she fell at Your feet?
If it's true that You know what I'm feeling
Could it be that You're weeping with me?

Arise, O Lord, and save me
There's nowhere else to go

You're always good, always good
Somehow this sorrow is shaping my heart
Like it should
And You're always good, always good

It's so hard to know what You're doing
So why won't You tell it all plain?
But You said You'd come back on the third day
And Peter missed it again and again

So maybe the answer surrounds us
And we don't have eyes to see

You're always good, always good
This heartache is moving me closer than joy ever could
And You're always good

My God, my God, be near me
There's nowhere else to go
And Lord, if You can hear me
Please help Your child to know

That You're always good, always good
As we try to believe what is not meant
To be understood
Will You help us to trust Your intentions for us are still good?
'Cause You laid down Your life and You suffered like I never could

And You're always good, always good
You're always good, always good

 

 We Christians should never forget what happened to the followers of Jesus right after he went to heaven. There was death, imprisonment and persecution. Many Jews were thrown out of their church, excommunicated. This meant no one could trade with them or talk with them. They lost everything for Jesus. That is why the believers needed to share among themselves. The need was very great.

 Remember what happened when Rome turned against Christianity. They tortured and killed thousands. Remember the suffering of the Holocaust. Not only Jews, but Christians, gays, mentally disabled and those who resisted Hitler were wiped out. Remember the suffering of the war itself. I had an uncle who died who left a wife and two daughters behind.

 It seems to me that we, North Americans, are surprised by suffering. We don’t seem to think we should have to suffer anything. Even the wearing of a simple mask in order to not spread an illness to others. No, we think that is too much to ask. It is a sacrifice we aren’t willing to make.

 Many believe there is no virus. It is all untrue! So that means every news service in all the world is lying about all the people who are suffering and dying. There is some vast (worldwide) conspiracy against – who? Them personally, I guess.

 To me, these are the scary people of the world. These are the ones who will persecute others to the death – like the ones who go surround government officials with weapons and send death threats. If they can, they will overthrow the democracy of the United States and keep Trump in power.

 We are in our own era now, with our own wars against a virus, against ignorance and against pure evil. We don’t need to fear though, because God will walk through this time with us. He may let us suffer as he has done for millions in the past. We may lose our lives to violence by the hand of evil people.

 But as the song says, Jesus did too. And his death was much worse than any that can happen to a human, because he had the sins of the world on his heart and his Father turned away from him. The Father did this so Jesus could experience the second death: knowing we will be separated from God forever because of our sinful lives. At the judgement, God will show us our sinful lives and why he can’t take us to heaven. Then we will die and be dead forever. Jesus went through that to take our place if we want him to. He endured it so we don’t have to, and he endured it for every person.

 

 

 

A Crisis of Faith

 Tony5875

Crisis of Faith

What is a crisis of faith?

Answer: The term crisis of faith usually refers to the point at which a person feels that he or she can no longer serve God or follow Christ. A person going through a crisis of faith is tempted to turn away from all he or she had believed in.   gotquestions.org

 I listened to a podcast today: “Made For This with Jennie Allen.” post #18.  She interviewed a woman who had gone to Africa as a missionary and events occurred that caused her to lose her faith in God.

 Immediately after I heard this story, I listened to Timothy Keller give a sermon, called “Meeting the Real Jesus,” about John the Baptist and Jesus. He read the story of when John was in prison and he sent some of his friends to ask Jesus this question: “Are you the one who is to come or should we look for another?”

 Even though God had showed John by a miracle that Jesus was the Messiah, he now questioned his belief. He had been thrown into prison and knew he could die. Jesus was doing nothing to fight against the Romans or get him out of jail. He even refused when people wanted to make him King of Israel. What kind of Messiah was he?

 Jesus told John’s disciples to go back to John and tell him what they had seen him do that day. He had healed the sick, “The blind see, the lame walk, lepers are cleansed, the deaf hear, the dead are raised, and the poor have good news proclaimed to them.  Blessed is anyone who takes no offense at me.”   Matthew 11:5,6

 Jesus was referring to Isaiah 61:1, where it explains the work of the Messiah. And he finished by telling John those are blessed who are not offended by Jesus. John was having a crisis of faith, and that crisis has its root in being offended by God.

 The woman missionary was offended by what God let happen to her. She had thought God would act differently than he did. She started thinking there was no God at all. He wasn’t the kind of God she thought she knew.

 That happened to one of my sisters when she lost her health, her job and had to sell her home and eventually live in a van. Then her dog ran off in the desert and never returned. She was very angry at God. He had given her a horrible life, she felt. She told me, “The only thing he hasn’t taken is my van.”

 We had long talks about this when she came and lived with my husband and I. I also had been through terrible times, but I had studied many books on the subject of God and suffering and why he allows it. Gradually, she came to see that she wanted to go back to God and she did. The day she left our home she said, “I’ve told God he can take my van too if he wants to.” This gave me great joy.

 My crisis of faith came when I was 42. I saw someone I love go through terrible suffering and that was very painful. But it was actually the thought of all the millions who had suffered just like her that made me turn from God. I could not understand and I was offended.

 After a few years of study, I did seem to understand and also, I missed God. At that time in my life it was impossible for me to believe God loved me, but it was a fact that there was nowhere else to go. He was the one with words of eternal life. He was the one who had a book that was awe-inspiring. He was the one who kept saying, “Help the poor and needy. Feed the hungry and love your enemy.”

 I’m now glad I had this crisis of faith because incredibly, my faith is stronger now than ever. I always knew my faith was tiny, but when my grandson died, I saw what God had done to me. I had peace and rested in his arms. When my husband had a stroke, I was filled with peace once again. Learning to trust God in the face of suffering is a fantastic thing, in spite of the confusion and mental pain.

 Many Christians have a crisis of faith during their walk with God. Many of us have the wrong idea of who God is, especially those who are raised in a religious home. We grow up believing what our parents believe, we grow up in a certain church which has its beliefs. And they are all so sure that what they believe is true.

 Sometimes, God will step into our lives to show us what is true or untrue about himself. He wants us to know him as he is. And sometimes he needs to take away all the things we rely on because we haven’t learned to rely on him. He does this because he loves us. Something I finally believe for myself in my old age.