Wrestling with God.

My grandson died almost 8 years ago. When someone you love dies it can be a terrible shock or you may be prepared for it after a long illness, or be prepared because they were very old.

My grandson was 21 when he died and it was a terrible shock to everyone in the family. He died because he drank heavily and then fell asleep on a soft sofa with his face down. He never woke up. The coroner said he had seen this happen to young men quite often.

His mother and I poured out our hearts to God. We talked about it with him for a long time. When the pain seemed too much we reached up to God and he healed us. He was a great comfort, and I don’t know how we would have made it through without his help.

But my grandson’s brother and my other daughter did not do this. My daughter would not speak about what happened and didn’t want us to either. She bottled up her sadness and rage until she had a mental breakdown about 4 years later. She went to counseling and got better.

My other grandson is still suffering. He and his brother were extremely close. He found the pain to be too much to handle and a few years after the death he started taking drugs to dull the pain. Eventually he became addicted to heroin. I know I have told this story before, but this time I wanted to share how important it is to talk to God or a counselor about the loss of someone you love.

He was in such bad shape after a few years of heroin that he knew he had to get off it. Also, he was tempted to start stealing in order to buy it. His mother did everything she could to help him. She wanted him to go into a rehab center and paid $5,000. He went for one day and half a night. He doesn’t feel comfortable being around people.

I didn’t know that when you quit heroin your legs hurt so much you want to cut them off. The pain is awful.

 My daughter lived with him for three months helping him through withdrawal. He went to the government program where they give you methadone. Oh, how that helped him! How grateful we are to the government and what they had done for him. He is still on methadone and doing very well physically.

But he has never dealt with the heavy grief in his heart. The worst month for him is August because that is when his brother died. It isn’t quite August and he is in a bad place right now. My daughter is going to see him tonight. He lives in the next town.

I texted him last night and told him to pray to God for peace of mind and don’t stop asking until he gets it. I have done that when I was depressed and God always came through.

I remember saying to God, “I’m not leaving this bed until I feel better.” And I kept praying. And then I felt better; I could face the day.

Now, when I pray, I also ask for joy and happiness in my day. I know God wants me to have peace and joy in the Holy Spirit. The Bible says that, and what God has said, he will do. Sometimes we just have to keep asking.

This makes me think of Jacob, when he was wrestling with God. He said, “I won’t let you go until you bless me.” You would think that was pretty pushy of Jacob, but apparently, God didn’t. He praised Jacob and gave him a new name: Israel.

Jacob’s story can inspire us to do the same. Don’t let go of God until he blesses you. The Bible says, “pursue peace,” so ask for it every time your heart is troubled, and keep asking.

Jesus and Jacob Wrestling with God.

In my last post, I wrote about feeling overwhelmed. I said I thought Jesus was overwhelmed at Gethsemane when he pleaded with his Father to find another way to save the human race. Jesus felt the sins of the world pressing down upon him and felt like it was killing him. He said, "My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death. Stay here and keep watch with me."

 After Jesus continued praying and great drops of blood came from his forehead, God sent an angel to strengthen him. God will do this for all of us who are overwhelmed.

Jesus is our model of what to do when we feel afraid and desperate. What did he do? He prayed; he prayed until he received help. He didn't pray for awhile, get up and do something else. No, he stayed where he was and prayed until he could face what was happening.

This reminded me of Jacob, who was afraid of dying by his brother's hand. The Bible says he was in great fear and distress. He was alone by the river. A man came and touched him; Jacob thought he was an enemy and wrestled with him, but as the night wore on, he realized it was a holy person.

 Then he (God) said, "Let me go, for the dawn is breaking." But Jacob said, "I will not let you go unless you bless me."

Then the man (God) said, "Your name will no longer be Jacob, but Israel, because you have struggled with God and with humans and have overcome."   Genesis 32:28

Jamieson-Fausset-Brown Bible Commentary

"I will not let thee go, except thou bless me,"—It is evident that Jacob was aware of the character of Him with whom he wrestled; and, believing that His power, though by far superior to human, was yet limited by His promise to do him good, he determined not to lose the golden opportunity of securing a blessing. And nothing gives God greater pleasure than to see the hearts of His people firmly adhering to Him.

One Bible commentator wrote that Jacob had believed in God previously, but also trusted in his own strength to get things done. That night by the river, Jacob knew he could do nothing to help himself. God had to do everything for him so he and his family could live. That is why he wouldn't let go. He had to know God would save them.

I have a lot to learn about the power of prayer. I am no example to anyone on the subject of prayer. But a few times, when I was severely depressed, I did say to God, "I'm not getting out of bed, and I'm not going to stop praying and reading the Bible until I feel better."  Previously, I had been forcing myself to get up and face the day. Well, that prayer always ended up with me feeling better about the coming day. The Lord did bless my perseverance.

Some of us don't have the luxury of not getting out of bed in the morning. Lol  I do because I'm retired. So, for those who are working, taking care of children, doing housework and yard work, I would say, pray as often as you can and as long as you can when you are overwhelmed. Pray while you are working at home, pray at your lunch hour, pray when the kids are in bed. Keep praying, God will bless you. No doubt about it.