Tuesday, 29 March 2016

Mental Illness and Sex.

I have been wondering if I should write about this subject and have decided I will in the hope it will help someone going through something similar. But if you don't want to hear about my sex problems, you better stop reading.

I was sexually used by my father, starting when I was very young. He also abused me physically a few times to keep me in line. I was terrified of him.

I'm 66 now, and still have trouble with sex. Things are definitely better, but I'm still working things out. God has shown me something I thought I would share.

Every Friday, even though I'd had a great week, I began feeling sad. I didn't know why until I prayed and paid attention to myself. It is because the weekend is coming and I know my husband and I will have sex at some point. After we do have sex, my depression lifts. I don't have to worry about it for another week.

The thoughts I used to have during sex were not pretty - I will spare you the details. But I couldn't enjoy the sex any other way, it seemed. I wanted to make my husband happy, and I was; but God was not happy because I was hurting myself.

God has been telling me a long time to quit thinking violent thoughts when I have sex. I tried a few times, but then I would just feel numb. Then one night after sex, I had this sudden urge to scream and keep screaming forever. The urge went away, but when I talked with God he said, "I can't keep you sane, as you keep asking me to do, if you continue thinking these thoughts." I pondered that for a few minutes and said, "I'll try." Then I said, "No, I promise I will never do it again."

At that, I felt a powerful presence come over me. I had woken with a headache and it went away immediately. My body had been aching; I felt a softness all over me and the aches were gone. I knew it was the overshadowing of God's presence. I felt so good and happy. I felt so thankful.

That was two weeks ago and sex with my husband has been great. We tried some new things to help me relax and of course, he is so patient with me and always has been. It is kind of embarrassing to talk with God about all this, but after all, he invented sex! It ain't my fault! I just want to learn how to live with it and enjoy it and He is helping me.

God always helps me with everything if I come to him about it. I wish I could convey how wonderful it is to have God to go to. People seem to be afraid to give control of their lives over to him. If they only knew! If they only knew what a great person he is! If they only knew how he gives his best to us.

Monday, 28 March 2016

What Are We Looking At?

Who is God?

Someone who wants you to look to Him.

Jesus said, "Your eye is a lamp that provides light for your body. When your eye is good, your whole body is filled with light.  
But when your eye is bad, your whole body is filled with darkness. And if the light you think you have is actually darkness, how deep that darkness is!"    Matthew 6:22

Matthew Henry's Concise Commentary
"The bodily eye is taken as the symbol of the outlooking power of the soul, not the soul - the inner man - itself, but its outlooking power. As the body is illuminated by the eye, i.e. as by the eye the bodily constitution learns its environment, and naturally, almost automatically, tends to accommodate itself to it, so is it with the gaze of the soul. If this be upon the things of this world, the soul perceives, and tends to accommodate itself to the things of this world; if upon things in heaven, it perceives, and tends to accommodate itself to, the things in heaven. 

If' the gaze which should bring light brings only darkness, how terrible in its nature and effects must that darkness be!"

Who am I?

Have you ever seen something you wish you had never seen? I'm pretty sure we all have. My earliest memory of seeing something awful was when I went to the State Fair in California. I was around 7 years old and walking with my family when I looked up at these huge banners with pictures on them. They were pictures of people being tortured in iron maidens and on the rack etc. It was near the entrance to the "House of Horrors."

I was so shocked and upset at what I saw I felt sick for quite awhile. I hadn't known things like that happened in the world. The world is chock full of things we shouldn't look at.

I've noticed as I live my Christian life, God has shown me things I have looked at with pleasure that should be thrown out of my life. Instead of missing those things, I have found greater peace and more time for myself to do interesting and fun things. It is no sacrifice to look away from the world. It feels like it might be, but it isn't! When God asks us to give up something, he always gives us something wonderful to take its place.

"So these (some Greeks) came to Philip, who was from Bethsaida in Galilee, and asked him, “Sir, we wish to see Jesus.”  John 12:21  Amen to that.

The more I look at Jesus life, the more I admire him. I think about how he was serene and yet strong. I think about how he talked with people, how he always said the right thing with assurance and poise. I think of how he acted when he was arrested, tried and crucified. I think of his courage, compassion, and conviction. Our God is amazing to look at.

"I will lift up my eyes to the mountains; From where shall my help come? My help comes from the LORD, Who made heaven and earth."  Psalm 121:2

"And we all, who with unveiled faces contemplate the Lord's glory, are being transformed into his image with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit."  2 Corinthians 3:18

"Turn my eyes from looking at worthless things; and give me life in your ways."  Psalm 119:37

Sunday, 20 March 2016

Flying with God.

A young woman I know, who is 14 years old, went to live with her father and step-mother because she was unhappy living with her mom. She had been hospitalized with anorexia the year before and still had to be on a strict diet and go to counseling.

One day she told her step-mother she had had a dream.
She said, "Mom and I were standing at the edge of a high cliff. Mom kept saying, 'Jump off. Jump off.'"

Her step-mother said, "What did you do?"

She answered, "I jumped."

"What happened?"

"Mom didn't know, but I did. I had wings," and she smiled.

This girl had given her life to God when she was 10. I think that dream was from him. He was showing her she could fly and not be afraid.

When we give our lives to God,
we have wings.

"They who wait for the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint."  Isaiah 40:31

Friday, 18 March 2016

Feeling What We Think.

I was listening to a sermon by Joyce Meyer the other day. She was preaching on, "Thinking."  She says our minds are a battlefield between good and evil thoughts. We can choose our thoughts, she says, and I believe her.

She said she used to wake up each day thinking about how she didn't want to get out of bed because she had to do the same old thing: cleaning up after other people. She would think about how no one helped her and no one cared.

I used to wake up thinking, "I wish I was dead." I hated living with my mental illness; I was tired of fighting it. Like Joyce, I felt there was no reason to get out of bed. I was totally bored with my life now that I no longer babysat my granddaughter. I tried to interest myself with new things, but everything felt grey and flat.

I learned through therapy I needed to have some positive thinking in my life. And I knew through Joyce I had to quote scripture and praise God first thing upon waking. This is what I do and it works. This morning I thought, "I'm conscious. What a nightmare."  Sheesh. The thoughts I have are unbelievable! But Joyce said in her sermon that we have to realize it is Satan giving us these bad thoughts. He wants us to give up on life and not trust God. I don't have to believe those thoughts.

I rarely ever think about Satan, but I have to admit she is right. Satan tempted Jesus with thoughts when he was in the wilderness. Jesus quoted scripture and then told Satan to go away. We can do the same.

The thoughts Joyce and I used to have made us angry, depressed and resentful towards others. Not a pretty picture. We all get these thoughts, but we don't have to dwell on them like I did. We can notice them and then ask God to throw them into the depths of the sea. Then think about something good. This works the same for lustful or hateful thoughts. Don't be surprised you have them; don't dwell on them.

Jesus said, "But the things that come out of a person’s mouth come from the heart, and these defile them. For out of the heart come evil thoughts—murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false testimony, slander. These are what defile a person; but eating with unwashed hands does not defile them.”
Matthew 15:18-20

"Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things."  Philippians 4:8

Since therefore Christ suffered in the flesh, arm yourselves with the same way of thinking, for whoever has suffered in the flesh has ceased from sin, so as to live for the rest of the time in the flesh no longer for human passions but for the will of God.  1Peter 4:2

Wednesday, 16 March 2016

Paul's Prayers.

Who is God?

Someone who wants us to know him, understand him and ask him to live in us.

Paul gives us examples of his prayers throughout his writings. If we want to know how to pray, or learn what will help us the most through prayer, read Paul's prayers. They are beautiful. Written below are some of his prayers from the book, Ephesians.

"I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better." 

"I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in his holy people, and his incomparably great power for us who believe." 
Ephesians 1:15-19

"I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith." 

"And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God."

"Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen."  
Ephesians 3:16-21

These two prayers are linked by the word, "know." Knowledge of God's character, especially his love, is vital for a person who wants to be like him. I have heard a preacher say, "You live out your idea of God's character."  In other words, if we believe God is a condemning, cranky, judge. Then that is what we will be. If we believe God loves everyone, then we will love everyone.

Another word Paul uses a lot in these two prayers is, "power."  This power comes from God and enters us, he says. Perhaps we feel weak, but Paul says elsewhere that when we are weak then God is strong in us. We need his power, that's for sure. We need it to know Him and we need it to live for him.  Like Jesus said, "Without me, you can do nothing."  

Thank you God, for your power that is in me.

Friday, 11 March 2016

What Did Angels and Apostles Say About Jesus' Second Coming?

In my last post, I wrote about what Jesus himself said about his second coming. Here are some verses that show what angels and men have said about it:

"After Jesus said this, he was taken up before their very eyes, and a cloud hid him from their sight.
They were looking intently up into the sky as he was going, when suddenly two men dressed in white stood beside them. “Men of Galilee,” they said, “why do you stand here looking into the sky? This same Jesus, who has been taken from you into heaven, will come back in the same way you have seen him go into heaven.”
Acts 1:9-11 

"Look, he is coming with the clouds," and "every eye will see him, even those who pierced him; and all peoples on earth will mourn because of him. So shall it be! Amen."  Revelation 1:7

But the day of the Lord will come like a thief, and then the heavens will pass away with a roar, and the heavenly bodies will be burned up and dissolved, and the earth and the works that are done on it will be exposed.  2 Peter 3:10

"For the Lord himself will descend from heaven with a cry of command, with the voice of an archangel, and with the sound of the trumpet of God. And the dead in Christ will rise first. Then we who are alive, who are left, will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air, and so we will always be with the Lord."  1 Thessalonians 4:17

"Concerning the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ and our being gathered to him, we ask you, brothers and sisters,not to become easily unsettled or alarmed by the teaching allegedly from us—whether by a prophecy or by word of mouth or by letter—asserting that the day of the Lord has already come. Don’t let anyone deceive you in any way, for that day will not come until the rebellion occurs and the man of lawlessness is revealed, the man doomed to destruction. He will oppose and will exalt himself over everything that is called God or is worshiped, so that he sets himself up in God’s temple, proclaiming himself to be God.

Don’t you remember that when I was with you I used to tell you these things? And now you know what is holding him back, so that he may be revealed at the proper time. For the secret power of lawlessness is already at work; but the one who now holds it back will continue to do so till he is taken out of the way. And then the lawless one will be revealed, whom the Lord Jesus will overthrow with the breath of his mouth and destroy by the splendor of his coming. 

The coming of the lawless one will be in accordance with how Satan works. He will use all sorts of displays of power through signs and wonders that serve the lie, and all the ways that wickedness deceives those who are perishing. They perish because they refused to love the truth and so be saved. For this reason God sends them a powerful delusion so that they will believe the lie and so that all will be condemned who have not believed the truth but have delighted in wickedness."  2 Thessalonians 2:1-12

I think Jesus, angels and godly men were clear how Jesus will return. He will come in the clouds with his angels; he will be seen by everyone in the world; his coming will be loud; he will raise the righteous dead to take them to heaven.

The verses in Thessalonians tell of an evil power that will be exposed at Jesus coming. This evil power will do signs and wonders. This power is written of in Revelation:

"Then I saw a second beast, coming out of the earth. It had two horns like a lamb, but it spoke like a dragon. It exercised all the authority of the first beast on its behalf, and made the earth and its inhabitants worship the first beast, whose fatal wound had been healed. 

And it performed great signs, even causing fire to come down from heaven to the earth in full view of the people. Because of the signs it was given power to perform on behalf of the first beast, it deceived the inhabitants of the earth. It ordered them to set up an image in honor of the beast who was wounded by the sword and yet lived. The second beast was given power to give breath to the image of the first beast, so that the image could speak and cause all who refused to worship the image to be killed. It also forced all people, great and small, rich and poor, free and slave, to receive a mark on their right hands or on their foreheads, so that they could not buy or sell unless they had the mark, which is the name of the beast or the number of its name.
This calls for wisdom. Let the person who has insight calculate the number of the beast, for it is the number of a man. That number is 666."  Revelation 13:11-18

This beast is a religious power that will rule in the last days. It will force those who do not worship the way they do to obey their religious laws. This religious power will come with miracles and wonders. People will see these miracles and say, "Jesus has come!" People will say they saw Jesus return. But not in the way he said he would return. This is how we will know these miracle workers are not Jesus, for he will return in the clouds with his angels.

"For as the lightning flashes and lights up the sky from one side to the other, so will the Son of Man be in his day."  Luke 17:24

As for the number 666, there have been many theories, and I won't go into that. Suffice it to say the number 7 in the Bible denotes perfection. 6 is almost the perfect number - it is very close, but not quite. It.  This evil power will look like God. It will act like God. But it won't be God. Jesus has warned us ahead of time. This evil power will try to force everyone to believe as they do. Jesus would not do this. He wants us to worship him from the heart, not by force.

Monday, 7 March 2016

What Jesus Said About His Second Coming.

Who is God?

Someone who gives us direction and warnings so we will be saved.

My granddaughter has a wonderful boyfriend. He was born in Israel but moved to Canada when he was 12. We got to talking about ISIS, and I said I had learned they were waiting for Jesus to return and help them. I had been very surprised at that.

Jon, Cherish's boyfriend, told me all Muslims await the return of Jesus. Also, the Jews await the Messiah, and he said they don't care if it is Jesus or not - just so he comes to help them. I was stunned by this also.

I said, "The Evangelical Christians are waiting for Jesus to come too." So, it seems to me this is an important subject since all these people are waiting for Jesus to return, but for different reasons. Jesus said this was an important topic too.

Jesus made it clear, in no uncertain terms, how he would return to earth. He warned us,

"So be on your guard; I have told you everything in advance." Mark 13:23

"See, I have told you beforehand."  Matthew 24:25

Jesus said:
“If the Lord had not cut short those days, no one would survive. But for the sake of the elect, whom he has chosen, he has shortened them. At that time if anyone says to you, ‘Look, here is the Messiah!’ or, ‘Look, there he is!’ do not believe it. For false messiahs and false prophets will appear and perform signs and wonders to deceive, if possible, even the elect. So be on your guard; I have told you everything ahead of time.
“But in those days, following that distress,
“ ‘the sun will be darkened,
and the moon will not give its light;
the stars will fall from the sky,
and the heavenly bodies will be shaken.’c
“At that time people will see the Son of Man coming in clouds with great power and glory. And he will send his angels and gather his elect from the four winds, from the ends of the earth to the ends of the heavens."
Mark 13:20-27

“If those days had not been cut short, no one would survive, but for the sake of the elect those days will be shortened. At that time if anyone says to you, ‘Look, here is the Messiah!’ or, ‘There he is!’ do not believe it. For false messiahs and false prophets will appear and perform great signs and wonders to deceive, if possible, even the elect. See, I have told you ahead of time.

“So if anyone tells you, ‘There he is, out in the wilderness,’ do not go out; or, ‘Here he is, in the inner rooms,’ do not believe it. For as lightning that comes from the east is visible even in the west, so will be the coming of the Son of Man. Wherever there is a carcass, there the vultures will gather.
“Immediately after the distress of those days
“ ‘the sun will be darkened,
and the moon will not give its light;
the stars will fall from the sky,
and the heavenly bodies will be shaken.’b
“Then will appear the sign of the Son of Man in heaven. And then all the peoples of the earth will mourn when they see the Son of Man coming on the clouds of heaven, with power and great glory. And he will send his angels with a loud trumpet call, and they will gather his elect from the four winds, from one end of the heavens to the other.
Matthew 24:22-31

Who am I?

Someone who is also waiting for Jesus to return. 

Friday, 4 March 2016

God is Everywhere.

Who is God?

Someone who can be everywhere.

"Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?
If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,
even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast.
If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me
and the light become night around me,”
even the darkness will not be dark to you;
the night will shine like the day,
      for darkness is as light to you." 

I was reading a sermon by, A.W. Tozer tonight and it was so beautiful. I've never heard of this man before, but the sermons are on Bible Hub, which I follow. Here is just a paragraph from the sermon.

"What does the divine immanence mean in direct Christian experience? It means simply that God is here. Wherever we are, God is here. There is no place, there can be no place, where He is not. 
Ten million intelligences standing at as many points in space and separated by incomprehensible distances can each one say with equal truth, God is here. No point is nearer to God than any other point. It is exactly as near to God from any place as it is from any other place. No one is in mere distance any further from or any nearer to God than any other person is."

A.W. Tozer

Hailing from a tiny farming community in western La Jose, Pennsylvania, his conversion was as a teenager in Akron, Ohio. While on his way home from work at a tire company, he overheard a street preacher say "If you don't know how to be saved... just call on God, saying, 'Lord, be merciful to me a sinner.'" Upon returning home, he climbed into the attic and heeded the preacher’s advice...

Among the more than 60 books that bear his name, most of which were compiled after his death from sermons he preached and articles he wrote, at least two are regarded as Christian classics: The Pursuit of God and The Knowledge of the Holy. Many of his books impress on the reader the possibility and necessity for a deeper relationship with God.

Who am I?
Someone who is happy to have God by her side and in her heart. 

Thursday, 3 March 2016

Thank you.

Hi Everyone. Well, some people must have prayed for me because my asthma went away soon after I posted my previous article. Thank you so much and of course, Thank you, God.

I had a great day today. I felt well and was able to cook and clean, which always makes me happy. My mom is doing great today also. God bless.

I Feel Like A Blob of Slime.

The prayer that is prayed most often in the Bible is, "Lord, have mercy on me."

Someone said God cannot pass by one who says this prayer; not that I think he would bypass any sincere prayer.

Today, I feel like shouting, as Jesus walks by, "Lord, have mercy on me!"

It's been a tough day. I took my mom to the hospital for some scans. We had to take a taxi there and back. My poor mom is weak and can barely walk. She got so tired. She had to drink some stuff that was yucky and felt sick afterwards.

I have social phobia. I'm really frightened of being with people and having to interact with them. So, there are the cab drivers, nurses and patients. I felt nauseated before we even left.  By the time we were done with the hospital and walked in the door, we were both a mess; me, mentally; my mom, physically. We grabbed a bite and went to bed.

I woke at 1:00 pm feeling depressed and hating my life again. But I know how to combat those thoughts by praising and thanking God and looking at the good things. I was okay then. So, I opened my email and there was a nasty letter from someone I don't even know. I felt sick again, physically and mentally.

I've said to my husband, "I don't even know these people. Why do I get sick from what they say about me?"  Oh well, I've marked that site as spam now. I guess all the fear comes from the horrible fear I had of my father as a child. Anger towards me turns me into a puddle of slime on the floor.

And now when I feel afraid, I get these enormous asthma coughing spells. Just writing about this has started me coughing. I talked with my mom about it and started coughing. My sprays hardly work. Obituary: Died from a nasty e-mail. Coughed to death.

That is how my dear brother died. Asthma. Now it is stalking me. I think, "If you had more faith, you idiot, you wouldn't have all this fear and asthma." I'm sure that is true, which gets me coughing even more. Lol

Aren't you glad I shared?

I better go before I pass out. Anyway, I would appreciate some prayers for me.
I'm sure I'll be better tomorrow. May God bless all  who come and visit. In spite of my problems, I know God loves and cares for me just as I am.