The Black Cloud of Depression.

I thought I’d revisit the topic of depression, since I am so closely acquainted with it. I’d been feeling happy for many months, then depression hit again. Every morning. Again. I knew it might be caused by my youngest daughter and my granddaughter leaving to live in Canmore. But I didn’t see why this sadness was lasting so long.

After a few weeks of this, I asked God about it. Before this, I had just been asking for help and quoting Scripture. That wasn’t working this time. I realized when I asked God why this was happening and why nothing was working, I should have asked him many days ago. Because God always answers my questions. Sometimes he answers right away; sometimes in days. So, I waited for an answer and kept my eyes open.

I believe I got an answer the next day. The answer came through Christian books I was reading, podcasts by Annie F. Downs, and Joyce Meyer on TV. She was the one who showed me how important it is to quote Scripture out loud. There is power in that. Evil spirits don’t stay around when the Word of God is quoted.

That morning, Joyce was speaking about depression. This is what I learned.

1. Believe God loves me. Not an easy one for me, although it is getting easier.

2. Write in a notebook every time God does something for me, be grateful and thank Him. I do thank him many times, but not daily and I don’t write it down. I thought of all the things he has done lately for my family, really important things, and felt better.

3. Believe God is working. Now I’d heard this from Joyce a few years ago and it changed the way I felt about my family. I used to worry about them and I would say this to myself, I did believe it and this brought peace. But I never used this phrase to help myself – to really believe God was working for me every day. To believe that actually helps me believe he loves me.

4. Don’t get discouraged because you have to learn and remember spiritual truths over and over. This is a big one for me, and it was by listening to interviews on Annie F. Downs’ podcast where I found a lot of Christians have found this to be true in their lives. I used to wonder, when I would learn something new that helped me, why didn’t it stick with me? Why would I keep forgetting? Why was I so dense?

Apparently, I’m not alone in this. And I suppose that is why we must read Scripture every day. God’s ways are so much higher and so different from our ways, it takes a lifetime to learn them. And I am thankful God is super patient.

 Thus, after a full day of searching for God’s answer, I believe I have found it in these four ways of living and thinking. I don’t feel depressed today, I feel blessed. Not that I am supposed to rely on my feelings, but it is truly lovely not to feel a dark cloud circling my head.

Hills and Valleys.

Mt. Carmel: Wikipedia

I listen to Annie F. Downs who has a podcast called, “That’s Sounds Fun.” I listen to her on Spotify which also has a huge library of music. Sometimes Annie has musicians on her show. When she does, I go listen to some of their songs. I’ve found many beautiful Christian music this way. Listening to songs about God makes my heart soar, and there are always good lessons in the lyrics.

One song I found recently is called, “Hills and Valleys,” sung by Tauren Wells.  It is my favorite song right now. What I find in Christian music is that I can put myself in the lyrics or I think of the people from the Bible. “Hills and Valleys” speaks to the fact we all go through highs and lows in our spiritual lives. I wish I had known that as a young Christian because then I might not have been so despairing in my low times. I thought I was a bad Christian and I just didn’t know how to live the life and have faith like other Christians.

When I first heard this song, I imagined myself on hills and going through valleys. But I’m afraid my hills aren’t very inspiring. With my psychological makeup I have been mostly slogging through valleys. So, I thought about people in the Bible. First there is Moses. He was on the mountaintop with God. He spoke face to face with God. He was given the tablets of the Ten Commandments written with God’s own finger. But then there were his valleys. He spent 40 years travelling around the desert with a bunch of people that kept complaining until he finally lost his temper and God did not appreciate it. Still, like the song says, he kept his eyes on God. He didn’t turn away. And he was a humble man He knew he didn’t get to that mountaintop on his own. It was God who made him what he was, a great man of faith, and when he was in the valley, God himself buried him.

Then there is Elijah. He was on the mountaintop with God on Mt. Carmel. He prayed and fire came down from heaven to prove God was God of the whole world and there was none other. Like the song says, he didn’t get there on his own, but that same day, Elijah became afraid and ran away from Queen Jezebel. He didn’t ask God what to do, he just ran for his life. He was in a valley. He ran for miles and miles and even told God he wanted to die. He was discouraged, but he kept his eyes on God. He ran, but he didn’t run from God and God sent an angel to help him.

Jesus. He was on a few mountaintops. He gave the Sermon on the Mount. He climbed a mountain with Peter, James and John. As he was praying, Moses and Elijah came down from heaven to talk with him about his death. He was transfigured there and became bright as the sun. But very soon after that he walked through the Kidron Valley to the Mt. of Olives, there to go through his greatest suffering. When Jesus was on mountaintops, he didn’t get there on his own either. His Father was with him. He said he did nothing without the Father. And through his valley, he kept praying and keeping his eyes on his Father who sent an angel to strengthen him.

In each of these stories, God took each one to heaven after they had gone through a valley. So, don’t be discouraged if you are going through a valley right now. One day, either here or in heaven, you will be standing on a mountaintop with God.

The Three Sisters.

Hello Everyone, I feel in my heart some things I want to share about God, so I’m going to start posting again, but not reading other blogs because of the issue with my eyes.

My youngest daughter, Christine, was living in Lethbridge, Alberta. Her husband had been transferred there and she had gotten a good job working for two surgeons. But their youngest daughter, who has OCD, became sick. Lethbridge has high winds and tornados and their daughter became so frightened she needed to leave. My daughter quit her job and went with her and they came here to Kelowna.

My son-in-law told his employers he had to move closer to Kelowna and get away from the winds.  They had wanted to move him far up north, but that just made his daughter feel worse. She missed her sisters and the city she had grown up in.

So, Christine looked for work here, not knowing what would happen. We were all praying for God to lead them where to live. I knew something good would happen. I was hoping they could all move back here, but that wasn’t the answer. After a month, the company asked if they would move to Canmore, Alberta. It is much closer to us and is near Banff, a skiing and resort area. They all met there to look around and their daughter was happy. She liked it and there are no tornados as it is at the foot of the Rockies.

Yesterday, Christine phoned me and asked if I knew there were three mountains there called, The Three Sisters. I told her I had seen them. She said, “You will never guess what the mountain’s names are. They are called, Faith, Hope and Charity.” I was astonished, because those are the names of Christine’s three girls, Faith, Hope and Cherish. I said, “It is a sign from God.” Christine said, “Yes, I know. We are right where he wants us to be.”

I do believe that whenever those mountains were named, they were named by inspiration from God so he could encourage our family in our troubles. I want to thank him and praise him for his kindness.

For those who remember my mother was sick, she is living here with us now. She has cancer, but it is slow-growing for which we are thankful. We love having here here with us.  

The Eyes Have It.

Hello Everyone. I’m going to have to quit reading blogs.  I’m not sure for how long. I might keep posting; I'm praying about that. As I explained earlier, I was waiting for cataract surgery. It was getting hard to read on my laptop. My left eye is the worst, my right eye is much better than that one. I see now, as I sat down to write my post today that reading is even harder than before. I was also getting headaches then.

My surgery was scheduled for last month but I did not have it. It is a strange story why I didn’t. I was preparing for the operation. I was supposed to buy two kinds of eye drops from the drug store, one was an antibiotic. I had to take them three days before the operation. I went to the store 4 days before and they didn’t have that antibiotic. They needed my doctor’s permission to change to another one. It was a holiday weekend, so it was difficult. They finally got the new prescription and called me. I went and got it. I wouldn’t be able to take more than one dose before the operation because I had gotten it so late.

The night before I was to start taking it I remembered something. When I had been in Nevada 15 years ago, I had a strange, clear bump on the white of one eye. I went to a clinic and he prescribed an antibiotic. I took it at my sister’s house and immediately became weak and almost fainted. I was shocked by this. I went to the clinic the next day and told the doctor what happened. He said, “I’ve been a doctor for 25 years and I’ve never had this happen to a patient.” I guess that meant he thought I was lying. He told me they would put a drop in while I was there, so they did. It took a few minutes until I felt faint. They took my blood pressure etc. and had to put me in a bed. The doctor was shocked too.

So, here I was remembering this. I had told these doctors I wasn’t allergic to any drugs. I had just forgotten about it, but now I felt so stupid. My husband told me to just go and have the operation. I had put the other drops in for the 3 days. I had read the directions and it said not to touch the eye with my hands or anything else, even the top of the bottle. Well, the morning of the operation I decided to cut my bangs. They were way too long. I cut them and three pieces of hair fell in my bad eye. Yes, that’s right, not one but three. I had to dig them out with a tissue. So, I’m standing there wondering if God wants me to not have the operation. I said to him, “I’ll go to the hospital. If you don’t want me to have this operation, please make me get sick.”

My granddaughter, Faith, drove me to the hospital and as we were walking to the elevator I became sick. I ran to a bathroom. Afterwards, I told my granddaughter to go and tell them I couldn’t have the operation. She did.

Well, that is where I am at now. I can read on my tablet, but not my laptop. I find it difficult to read blogs on the tablet. I guess the next step should be that I get tested for allergies to different antibiotics. I did get sick last year from Macrobid. Who knows how many others? I do wish I had remembered about the eye drops sooner, but I’m very glad God stopped me from the operation. I read later that people past 60 years old sometimes die of eye antibiotics. Their hearts just stop and they can’t get them going again.

My daily life with God has been wonderful. He is the strength of my life; he is my strong tower I run to and I am safe; he is my light in darkness. How I wish everyone on earth would just give him a chance, if they would just, “taste, and see that the Lord, he is good.”

Fear and Faith.

Photo by: https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?title=User:Karemin1094&action=edit&redlink=1

"God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.  Therefore, we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging." 

"Therefore we will not fear, though the earth should change and though the mountains slip into the heart of the sea;  though its waters roar and foam, though the mountains tremble at its swelling." 
Psalm 46:1-3

 Psalm 46 brings comfort to me. There are beautiful, as well as fearful thoughts here. Verses 1-3 remind me of what Jesus said to the disciples in the midst of a terrible storm, when they were in danger of capsizing and drowning. He asks them, “Why are you afraid? Where is your faith?”

Jesus was explaining to them that no matter how frightening a situation is, we must have faith (trust) in God. If God allows us to drown, that is fine. If God decides to save us from drowning, that is fine. This is total trust in God’s wisdom and power. The disciples had not learned this kind of trust yet.

In these three verses, the Psalm describes the world in convulsions. Some commentators say these represent the anger of the nations. Some say they represent actual physical events. Some say they represent the storms of life. Some say they represent all three.

Because of the later verses in this chapter, I believe they represent the physical condition of the earth right before Jesus returns. Verses 6-9 say this:

"Nations are in uproar, kingdoms fall; he lifts his voice, the earth melts. The Lord Almighty is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress."
"Come and see what the Lord has done, the desolations he has brought on the earth. He makes wars cease to the ends of the earth. He breaks the bow and shatters the spear; he burns the shields with fire."

About the last plague to come upon mankind, the Book of Revelation says this:

"Look, I come like a thief! Blessed is the one who stays awake and remains clothed, so as not to go naked and be shamefully exposed." And they assembled them at the place that in Hebrew is called Armageddon. The seventh angel poured out his bowl into the air, and a loud voice came out of the temple, from the throne, saying, “It is done!”
  
"And there were flashes of lightning, rumblings, peals of thunder, and a great earthquake such as there had never been since man was on the earth, so great was that earthquake."

"The great city was split into three parts, and the cities of the nations fell, and God remembered Babylon the great, to make her drain the cup of the wine of the fury of his wrath.   And every island fled away, and the mountains were not found."
Revelation 16:15-20

What is so beautiful in this Psalm are the verses that give us hope, peace and courage:

"There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God, the holy place where the Most High dwells. God is within her, she will not fall; God will help her at break of day."

"He says, “Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.”

"The Lord Almighty is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress."
As these days draw near, let us pray for God's courage, faith and peace.

Miracles and Dreams.

Photo by Joe Mabel

https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/User:Jmabel 

Announcement:

I have cataracts on both eyes. They are growing. It is hard to read on my laptop and tablet. My eyes feel strained and tired. Therefore, I’ve had to cut down or even eliminate reading your blogs, my friends and followers. Terribly sorry, but that is the way it is for now. I’ll be getting surgery sometime this spring or summer. I’m hoping to return and start reading again.

I love to read your blogs. They usually inspire me. I love hearing how God is working in people’s lives. So, I will come back when my eyesight is normal. I will also still be posting once a week if I feel God wants me to.  So on to my post for today.

Dreams and Miracles

I wanted to share with you some of the miracles that have taken place for a group called GLOW – Giving Light to Our World. It is part of the ministry for my church, Seventh-Day-Adventist. I don’t go to church any longer because of many reasons, one being I am not mentally well and find it hard to be around people. I rarely leave my apartment, but I’m very happy here with my family.

Anyway, my mom gets a magazine from the church and they had an article about what has happened with GLOW this year. I want to share this exciting news with two stories:

“In the U.S. Liz was working at home when she heard a knock on the door. When she opened it, David, who was handing out GLOW pamphlets, was already walking away. Liz called out to let him know she was home. Back on her porch, David handed Liz a GLOW paper.

“I have chills right now!” Liz said. “Not too long ago I had a dream. In the dream I saw two ministers of the gospel coming to my house sharing literature.” David was thrilled to hear about her dream, but he was the only person there.

Just then, Taylor, his ministry partner, arrived. He had run out of tracts and had come looking for David to get more. Now there were two ministers of the gospel at her door.

Liz looked at David and Taylor, “I believe this is from God. In my dream I saw two ministers at my door bringing me hope. I heard a voice from heaven saying, “This is your last chance. I am coming back soon!” Please pray for me. I need Jesus in my life.

This story came from the Philippines:

A church member was walking through several neighborhoods handing out GLOW tracts. In his city, it was customary for trash to be swept into small piles near the street and burned. Someone lit a pile of trash near where the missionary was handing out pamphlets. 

A man walked by and noticed one piece of paper that would not burn. He picked it up and tried to light it, but it wouldn’t catch fire. He called some people over to see this strange happening. Speechless, the crowd watched his failed attempts to burn this pamphlet.

Across the street, the church member noticed the crowd and went to see what was happening. Stunned, he told them he was the person handing out the leaflets. He invited them all to an evangelistic meeting at his church that evening. Some came just for the one meeting, others continued to come until the series ended. Several of the eyewitnesses of the tract that wouldn’t burn were baptized.

From Adventist World, October 2017.

From Robbing Banks into God's Arms.

Photo by:

https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/User:AgnosticPreachersKid

One of my followers has asked me to write about my family and how God worked in their lives. For many in my family, it has been a slow growth from child to adult, always believing in God. However, there is one family member who met God while he was in prison.

He doesn’t want me to share his name so I’ll call him Stephen. Stephen was raised in a home of physical abuse and neglect. His father beat him and his siblings, later his step-father did the same. Both fathers were alcoholics. They also beat Stephen’s mother.

Stephen started getting into trouble with the law and went to prison for the first time for robbing a postal office. He got a year hard labor for that. He never went back home to live. He moved from city to city, getting arrested and sentenced for assault. He was in lots of fights. He sold drugs.

When he was 24, he lived in a large city. He met a man who came from a small prairie town. This man knew when the town bank received it’s money. The nearest police were many miles away. It looked like a sure thing to rob this bank and get away. Stephen said he was in.

Another man joined them. They bought rifles and duffel bags for the money. They drove to the town. They got out of the car with the rifles and went through the first door. But Stephen said, “Something’s wrong.”  He said later, he just felt something strange. He told his friends to follow him and leave. As they walked back through the front door they were surrounded by police and arrested. It turned out the third man had ratted on them to get a lesser sentence on a previous crime. The police had been waiting for them.

At the trial, Stephen expected to get 8 years. He was surprised to get only 2 years. Apparently, if they had walked through the second door, their sentence would have been much harsher. 

Stephen was used to going to jail, but he hated it there. You had to be tough and fearless and make the other inmates afraid of you. He did that in every jail. He was an expert fighter and would have killed someone if he had to.

The warden of this large prison was a Christian. There was a punishment room called, “The Hole,” that you were sent to if you caused trouble. Stephen was sent there for fighting in the cafeteria. The warden had a Bible put in each of these cells. That is all that was in the room besides a cot and toilet.

Stephen started reading the Bible and finished reading it the month of his detention. One night, while he was sleeping, he heard God call out his name, “Stephen, Stephen.”

The next day, he was back in population, but had been sent to a part of the prison that had a lot of Christians in it. A Christian said something to him and Stephen came towards him to hit him. He heard the same voice say to him, “Stephen, if you hit him, I will come down on you like a ton of bricks.”  (This is what Stephen would say to people.) Stephen stopped walking towards the man. He was stunned. He turned around and went to his cell and cried, “like a baby,” he said. He was amazed God would speak with him. He gave himself to God that moment.

So, that is the story of a man in our family. He got out of that prison and 40 years later is still a Christian. He had strong faith in God right away. He brought other inmates to Christ. Three of them were baptized when they got out.

Turn to me and be saved,

all you ends of the earth;

for I am God, and there is no other.   Isaiah 45:22

"Come now, and let us reason together," Says the LORD,

"Though your sins are as scarlet, they will be as white as snow;

Though they are red like crimson, they will be like wool.

If you are willing and obedient, you shall eat the good of the land;

But if you turn away and refuse to listen, you will be devoured by the sword of your enemies.

I, the LORD, have spoken!"      Isaiah 1:18-20