I Don't Know what Title to Give this Post.

In my last post, I quoted from a book by Eugene H. Peterson. I usually quote from books and authors that have helped me. I know that when I read posts like that, I sometimes buy the book. But now I feel I should not have encouraged anyone to buy one of his books.


After reading good things about Pastor Peterson and his translation of the Bible called, “The Message,” I bought three paperbacks written by him. I started reading two of them, but was put off by his attitude towards non-Christians. He wrote of them, not in terms of love and pity, but with unkind judgement. 


I did not finish those two books, but started “Life at It's Best.” I thought I might have judged him too harshly myself and decided to give him another try. I did like the opening chapters, as I said previously, but when I came to chapter 14, I came upon that same unloving attitude.


He tells a story of his life when he was in the hospital to have surgery on his nose. The surgery was over and he lay in bed in pain. A new patient entered the room who was to have a tonsillectomy. He was in his early twenties, nice looking and friendly. I will now quote from the book leaving some sentences out for brevity:


“He came over to me, put out his hand and said, ‘Hi, my name is Kelly. What happened to you?’ I was in no mood for friendly conversation, did not return the handshake, grunted my name and said that I had had my nose broken. He got the message that I did not want o talk, pulled the curtain between our beds and let me alone…


Later in the evening the young man asked Peterson, “Well, what do you do?” Peterson writes, “I’m a pastor.” ‘Oh,’ he said and turned away; I was no longer an interesting subject.


In the morning he woke me, ‘Peterson, Peterson wake up.’ I groggily came awake and asked what he wanted. ‘I want you to pray for me; I’m scared.’ And so, before he was taken to surgery, I went to his bedside and prayed for him.


When he was brought back a couple of hours later, a nurse came and said, ‘Kelly, I am going to give you an injection that should take care of any pain you might have.’

In twenty minutes or so he began to groan, ‘I hurt. I can’t stand it. I’m going to die.’

I rang for the nurse and when she came said, ‘Nurse, I don’t think that shot did any good; why don’t you give him another one.’ She didn’t acknowledge my credentials for making such a suggestion, told me curtly that she would oversee the medical care of the patient, turned on her heel and left. Meanwhile, Kelly continued to vent his agony.

…he began to hallucinate, and having lost touch with reality began to shout, ‘Peterson, pray for me, can’t you see I’m dying? Peterson, pray for me.’ His shouts brought nurses, doctors and orderlies running…’”


His story ends there but it is how he would not shake hands with the young man and be interested in him that bothered me at the very beginning. You may say, “Well, he was in pain.” Yes, but Jesus was in pain on the cross and he spoke with love and mercy to the man hanging beside him. He saw there a man he loved and was dying to save.


Peterson next makes a conclusion about the young man in the story. He seems to wash his hands of him. I will quote what he wrote here:


“The parabolic force of the incident is this; when the man was scared, he wanted me to pray for him, and when the man was crazy, he wanted me to pray for him. But in between, during the hours of normalcy, he didn’t want anything to do with a pastor. What Kelly betrayed in extremis is all many people know of religion; a religion to help them with their fears, but which is forgotten when the fears are taken care of; a religion made of moments of craziness but which is remote and shadowy in the clear light of the sun and in their routines of every day. The most religious places in the world …are not churches but battlefields and mental hospitals…”


Peterson goes on to say how much better Christians are:


“Nevertheless, we Christians don’t go to either place to nurture our faith. We don’t deliberately put ourselves in places of fearful danger to evoke heartfelt prayer and we don’t put ourselves in psychiatric wards so we can be around those who clearly see visions.”


He goes on to say Christians have stability etc. Really? All Christians? Well, stability would be lovely to have, but I’ve met many Christians who are not stable and I am mentally ill so stability in my feelings is not normal for me. I have to pray and work hard on having stability.


Also, yes people pray when they are in danger. God uses that all the time. For the first time in their lives, some people may face death; and it makes them stop and think about eternity and God. That is a wonderful thing, a blessing from God! He will gladly take us just as we are, in that very moment when we are frightened. 

The criminal who died with Jesus probably had heard all about him and what he taught. He saw how Jesus treated the soldiers who crucified him. He saw how he took care of his mother. He heard the shouts of people who hated Jesus and said, “He said he is the Son of God.” So, he turned and looked on Jesus and said, “Lord, remember me when you come into your kingdom.” Jesus promised him he would be with him in Paradise.


Jesus looks on those who are lost with the greatest pity and love. God does everything he can to save them. We should look on each person in the world as a person with a spirit and soul that Jesus longs to save.


As I said, I don’t know what title to give this post. I’m sorry I sort of recommended Peterson and his books. I rarely agree completely with every Christian book I read; but I’ve never felt like I had to apologize for encouraging people to read something. I do this time; I’m sorry.

Can You Be a Christian and Not Love God?

The last few weeks I have either heard or read Christians say, “We don’t obey God because we want to be saved, are afraid of him or want something from him. We obey God because we love him.”

This always gives me pause because of the number of years I have not felt love for God. I first gave my life to him because he showed me through a dream that I was lost. I saw Jesus returning and wasn’t ready. That dream terrified me.

My grandmother gave me a book about God and I loved it. Then I went to an evangelistic meeting. I enjoyed that also, but when they asked if anyone wanted to come forward to give their lives to Christ, I didn’t do it until the last night. That was the night the preacher talked about Jesus and his death on the cross for us. I felt love and gratitude and walked up to the stage to give myself to Jesus.

So, I guess I could say I came to God through fear and then love. But the love feeling didn’t last. Because of my church’s teachings, I started feeling very afraid to sin and believed God would turn away from me if I sinned. I don’t remember any teachings about how we will sin and how God will always be there for us.

So, I was afraid. I became legalistic too and looked down on those who weren’t as “good” as I was. I’m not sure how you can have both feelings, but I guess I went back and forth between them. When I did sin or make a mistake, I couldn’t pray for days because I felt so guilty.

I then learned about, “righteousness through faith,” from a new preacher in my church. This was wonderful news to me and I embraced it. I felt at peace with God for quite a few years.

But then some traumatic things happened in our family. I couldn’t understand why God would allow such pain. I felt repulsed by the way he ran the world and let people suffer. Not just my family, but everyone in the world. I was filled with anger towards him. I walked away from him.

Four years later, when I came back to him, I had read books on why God allows suffering. These books had helped me a lot and I could understand why things were the way they were. But love? No, I didn’t feel love for God and for the most part, I didn’t really believe he loved me.

This went on for years, and the thing is that even though I didn’t feel love for God, I wanted to be a good person and I knew God was the only way to be that. I felt as Jesus said, I hungered and thirsted for righteousness. I cared about justice, mercy, forgiveness, love, compassion, generosity and patience.

I loved what God stood for, but it was so hard for me to equate that with a person in heaven. Maybe because men had hurt me all my life, I couldn’t think of God in a loving way.

So then, if I took to heart what these Christians say about obeying God because I felt love for him, I would have given up in despair. But I learned from Joyce Meyer not to rely on my feelings. They are fickle and unreliable.

One of my sisters feels no love at all for God. She was angry with him for many years. But God wouldn’t let her go. He called her, he bugged her, he chased her until she reluctantly gave in to him. She worships him every day. She is learning about him every day. She is growing every day. There is a huge change in her, although she cannot see it, I do.

In fact, the way God has dealt with my sister has made me love him. Not many people love her. One reason is she always says the truth of what she thinks or believes. She doesn’t let people get away with bullshitting her. She is direct and pulls no punches, but that is one of the reasons I love her so much. She is straight with me; I don’t have to guess where she stands.

I’ve told her I think the thing God loves most about her is her honesty. She doesn’t want to hurt people with honesty, that is just her personality and most people don’t like it. But God does. I know he does, and oh how that makes me love him.

I only started having consistent “feelings” of love for God the last few years. I became a Christian at 19 and I am now 69. It has been a long wait for me. I had moments of that loving feeling, but they didn’t last. Now, it feels like my heart will burst with love and the joy of knowing God. It was worth the wait; I’m so happy.

I wrote this for those who have no feelings for God and think they should. I’m sure God understands feelings and knows they can’t be counted on. I think he wants us to worship him because we admire what he stands for: truth, faithfulness, justice, kindness, forgiveness, mercy, long-suffering, tolerance, and most of all love.

But honestly, I believe God will take us any way he can get us. He loves us that much.

Don't Be A Mule.

Juancito, which the author calls the best mule of Argentina, on an excursion on the Mitre Peninsula, in Tierra del Fuego, Argentina. In the background is the remains of the SV Duchess of Albany, shipwrecked in 1893. Photograph taken in February 2006.

How wonderful it is that God forgives our sins! If I keep silent about my sins, your hand of conviction will be heavy on me and each day I become weaker. But when I confess my sins, you forgive me the moment I ask. 


All of us need to pray while we still can, while there is still time. God is our hiding place; when trouble comes, he will deliver us.


God says to us, “I will teach and counsel you. My eyes, which are filled with love, are on you. Don’t be like a horse or mule that must be controlled with bit and bridle! Come willingly!


Those who don’t know God also suffer hard times and trouble. But they miss out on God’s unfailing love and comfort, which surrounds those who believe in him.


Rejoice that you know the Lord! Sing to him!


Psalm 32 (In my own words.)

God Living with Us.

“Therefore, the Lord himself will give you a sign. Behold, the virgin shall conceive and bear a son, and shall call his name Immanuel.”   Isaiah 7:14


As Joseph was considering divorcing Mary, since she was pregnant, an angel appeared to him and told him the child was from the Holy Spirit. He said, “She will bear a son, and you shall call his name Jesus, for he will save his people from their sins.” All this took place to fulfill what the Lord had spoken by the prophet: “Behold, the virgin shall conceive and bear a son, and they shall call his name Immanuel” (which means, God with us).


A verse that has come into my mind for most of my life, it is, “I love the Lord because he hears my voice.” This is true about my love for God. He is always there for me; he is always listening; he is always with me.


I’ve noticed lately how many verses there are where God told us he would be with us. Jesus said it many times. One of the things I remember from going to church as a child was that God was with us every moment of every day. I’ve never doubted that, but these days I feel so amazed and happy about it. To think the maker of the universe is beside me every day is comforting. I think I understand why God loves being with us. It is the way I feel about my daughters and grandchildren. I wish I was with them every moment of the day, simply because I love them. 


I thought I’d write down some verses about this:


“Behold, I am with you and will keep you wherever you go, and will bring you back to this land. For I will not leave you until I have done what I have promised you.”  Genesis 28:15


“The LORD is with me; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?”  Psalm 118:6


“Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.”  Psalm 23:4


“I have set the LORD always before me. Because He is at my right hand, I will not be shaken.”  Psalm 16:8


“For this God is our God forever and ever; He will be our guide even until death.  Psalm 48:14

When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you.  Isaiah 43:2


“My dwelling place shall be with them, and I will be their God, and they shall be my people.”  Ezekiel 37:27


“And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we have seen his glory, glory as of the only Son from the Father, full of grace and truth.”  John 1:14


 “For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I among them.”  Matthew 18:20


 “And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.”  Matthew 28:20


“And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Behold, the dwelling place of God is with man. He will dwell with them, and they will be his people, and God himself will be with them as their God.”  Revelation 21:3

Heaven: Boring or Exciting?

My granddaughter, Hope, enjoying the snow.

I dreamed last night someone asked me why I would want to follow God. I said to him, “Imagine the best day you ever had with people you love. That is what God wants for all people. We will be one big happy family enjoying each other, enjoying God, having interesting work to do, eating wonderful food, getting to know the animals, traveling, sightseeing, singing, playing musical instruments, gaining knowledge,

One of the best days I’ve ever had was when our whole family packed a picnic and we drove up into the mountains to a park. There was an abandoned gold mine there, an old train trestle no longer in use, a river flowing by, and trees everywhere. I remember looking at my children and grandchildren and thinking, “I must always remember this beautiful day.”

The river was deep so my husband and son-in-law were jumping from the trestle. We walked over to the abandoned mine and found some rocks with gold dust on them, we walked among the trees and saw a large woodpecker. Simple things, but so very wonderful because we were all together discovering this park and enjoying the happiness of the children who were excited by everything they saw.

One of my sisters, who has a chronic illness and cannot work, told me she thought heaven might be boring. She couldn’t imagine having fun there. I said, “Look at what we are doing this minute. We are playing video games. We are enjoying ourselves, aren’t we?” She agreed we were. “I said, “If we can enjoy playing these simple games, I think the God of the universe will have interesting things for us to do.”

My daughter once told me she hadn’t wanted to be a Christian because she thought heaven would be boring. But now that she knows she will meet her deceased son in heaven, she can’t wait to get there.

I think the thoughts of being bored in heaven come from going to church and being bored as a kid, or even an adult, and perhaps by being a party/sex/drink/drugs lover. You know that won’t be going on in heaven so it turns you off.

 But all those thoughts show a lack of imagination. If people will spend a lot of money to go see the Grand Canyon or Yellowstone Park for two weeks, then I think we will all enjoy heaven. Think about how most people love snorkeling or just swimming at a beautiful beach. All the things we love about nature will surround us in heaven. And the more we get to know God, the more we will enjoy his company. I’m sure the angels will be interesting to meet and get to know.

As the Bible says, we have no idea what awaits us in heaven.

But, as it is written, “What no eye has seen, nor ear heard, nor the heart of man imagined, what God has prepared for those who love him”—

1 Corinthians 2:9

God in Our Lives.

My grandson, daughter #1 and son-in-law of daughter #2. Xmas 2018.

I’ve been trying to remember to write about life each day and how God has moved in my life. I’ll share a few stories.  Two weeks ago, my sister, who lives in Washington State, told me she was getting more and more tired. She could hardly get out of bed. She does have chronic fatigue syndrome, but she could usually do a few things during the day. She was so discouraged.

We both prayed about it and she discovered it was caused by the antidepressant pills the doctor gave her. As soon as she stopped taking them she had more energy. Also, she told me her back was better since she bought a back exerciser. She said she used to be in terrible pain after putting away groceries; but since she used the exerciser the pain has been small.

So, I would like to thank God for showing my sister what to do to feel better. I’m also very thankful my grandson is still free from heroin and feeling better every month. He has a dog he loves and a mom who stands with him, helping him all she can. I’ve been sending him stories from the Bible and he says he enjoys them. Thank you God for freeing him from heroin!

I listed to a podcast awhile ago. A woman told a story from her life. Everything was going wrong. Her husband couldn’t find a job, she had to work and her baby was sick. She said her mother told her to go to a special evening meeting put on by their church and have a break. She went to the meeting but felt angry and jealous of those around her whom she supposed had happy lives. The musicians were setting up their instruments. All of a sudden, she saw Jesus on the stage. He looked at her and said, “You came! You came!” He hurried off the stage and came to where she was sitting. He was smiling and hugged her and said, “I’m so glad you came.” Then he disappeared.

This touched me deeply. How kind of God to comfort her in this way. And how like him to be happy when we take time to be with him at a meeting or in prayer. I think God, like all of us, is happy when people pay attention to him. I love it when my daughters and grandchildren come to see me. When you think that to look at God is to look at eternal life and eternal love, and he knows that; no wonder it makes him happy!

I’ve been reading 1 Kings and found something so beautiful to me. Jeroboam was an evil king who introduced idol worship to Israel. This kind of worship included sacrificing children to the god to be burned alive. Jeroboam also told the people not to go to Jerusalem to worship God.

God sent a prophet to the king to tell him that in the future, his son would lose the throne and all his family would die. But the Lord made an exception for one of Jeroboam’s sons, a son who was sick. The prophet told him he would die of the sickness but, “All Israel will mourn for him and bury him; for he alone of Jeroboam’s family will come to have a grave because in him there is found something pleasing to the Lord, the God of Israel, in the house of Jeroboam.”

So, the Lord allowed the boy to die in order to save him, I think and to give him a good end compared with the rest of the family who were killed by the sword. This story reminded me of my grandson, Craig and my nephew, Ian. Their lives were full of confusion, sadness and trouble, but I know their hearts pleased God. I know I will see them in heaven.

A Dream of Jesus Beside Us.

It feels wonderful to walk beside someone you love.

I had a dream last night. Two men walked up to me and said, “There is someone standing beside you.”  I looked, and said, “Yes, it is Jesus. He is always beside me. You should give your lives to him.” Then I woke up.

Usually, in my dreams, if I am around men, I am afraid and they look at me like they want to have sex. Not this time. I wasn’t afraid and there was no suggestion of sex in the dream. The dream made me happy because I think God is showing me I am learning to trust him. It felt so good to see him standing beside me.

One of my favorite verses in the Bible is Isaiah 41:13,

“For I, the LORD your God, hold your right hand; it is I who say to you, “Fear not, I am the one who helps you.”

I heard a sermon from the pastor of Creekside Church podcast and he quoted C.S. Lewis from one of the Narnia books called, Prince Caspian. In this scene Lucy hasn’t seen Aslan (Jesus) for awhile.

“Aslan" said Lucy "you're bigger".
"That is because you are older, little one" answered he.
"Not because you are?"
"I am not. But every year you grow, you will find me bigger.”

 The preacher said as we spend more and more time with God, he will seem bigger to us. I have found that to be true. God seems amazingly powerful to me now. I see him as King of the Universe, a mighty and awesome God who stoops down to walk beside me. Me, a weak and sinful person. I feel so thankful for who he is.

 I found some other verses that tell us he is beside us. Here they are:

“My soul clings to You; Your right hand upholds me.” Psalm 63:8

“You have also given me the shield of Your salvation, And Your right hand upholds me; And Your gentleness makes me great.”  Psalm 18:35

“With the LORD beside me as my helper, I will triumph over those who hate me”.  Psalm 118:7

For David says of Him: “I saw the Lord ever before me; because He is at my right hand, I will not be shaken.”  Acts 2:25/Psalm 16:8

Paul wrote, “But the Lord stood by me and strengthened me, so that through me the message might be fully proclaimed and all the Gentiles might hear it. So I was rescued from the lion’s mouth.”  2 Timothy 4:17

“For He stands at the right hand of the needy, to save him from those who judge his soul.”  Psalm 109:31

Right and Wrong Doesn't Matter.

Today, I read a blog post by Colin Picering that I think is important for the people of the United States and Canada. I could never have written about this as well as Colin.

Right and Wrong Doesn't Matter:

Without God, morality is just an arbitrary rule destined to change on whim and convenience. This doesn’t mean that Christians and other religious individuals don’t make the same moral concessions, but there are some among us who hold to doing what God has instructed us to do. Some probably thought that we could hold each other to a high moral standard. Considering the current state of our country’s political system, our ability to hold such a standard is incredibly limited. Morality does not overrule our fears and instincts to survive without a respect for a higher power and belief of consequences worse than what we expect through our actions or inactions. Humans naturally want control over their own future, so we make decisions to concede defeat on morale grounds if it improves our prospective futures.

True Christianity is about giving up control. It is about trusting completely in God and not being afraid. The world, the United States, and the greater Christian community is full of fear. We are so worried about right and wrong because we are afraid that the things we believe are wrong will happen to us. We fight so hard for different topics of morality because we fear punishment from God, ridicule from each other, and our own lack of self control. We believe God will punish us if we don’t fight against abortions, gay marriages, and sexual promiscuity. We fear that God will lose the battle to school districts across the country that don’t teach biblical topics. We fear losing our way of life, our freedom to believe what we want, and our ability to live free from things we believe are abominations and damaging to the society we want.

Much of sin comes from fear. The fear of losing control leads people to do things to harm others in order to retain that control. The fear of being weak leads people to seek power in any way they can get it. The fear of physical injury will keep us from putting ourselves in harms way for others. There are many other examples of fear that push us toward sin, fear of limited resources can make us unwilling to share with those in need. Fearing limited resources could also cause us to steal or lie in order to gain more. Even the fear of God can be enough to make us sin.

The fear of God spoken about in the bible was meant as respect. It requires a healthy level of fear, which is more an understanding and concession of who is in control, God. It requires that we believe that when we do wrong, there will be consequences for those actions. However, we are not responsible for the actions of others. We are responsible for what we do, say, and believe. God isn’t going to hold us accountable for others.

There are three things that a Christian needs to combat the fears that lead to sin; love, faith, and hope. Love for God and each other will prevent us from doing things that hurt our spirit and our neighbor. Faith that God will keep his promises allows us to fight through thoughts of weakness, limited resources, and death. Our hope in Jesus Christ and in the future he promised will allow us to persevere through tough times.

God never promised that only good things will happen to us if we believe. If we have love, faith, and hope we can endure anything life throws at us. We can share our love, our faith, and our hope with others. This is how we work for God to change others, not by aggressively trying to force change. We have to introduce people to the core of Christianity. First impressions cannot be our scolding judgment on the way they live their lives.

For Christians, right and wrong is meaningless. The law is built on love. Not love as in romantic love, but in unconditional enduring love. Fear might create quick knee jerk reactions, but hope builds a foundation of belief. We can’t allow ourselves to continue to be pushed around by the waves. The waves are the many fears in our lives. We must have faith in Jesus. We must believe that God is in control and that our job here is to love each other, build each other up, and spread hope to those who have no hope.

We can’t be the reason they have no hope. We are meant to be ridiculed and persecuted. Others are supposed to see the strength that our faith gives us to endure that ridicule and persecution. Our love is supposed to make them feel shame for doing it while being a peaceful example in a conflict oriented world. Our hope is meant to draw people in to the possibility that life is more than a temporary stay on a world full of both good and bad.

Stop concerning yourself with right and wrong. If we focus on love, faith, and hope; all of the other stuff will fall into place. God will keep his promises. We have to show that we can keep ours.

1 John 4:7-21
7 Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. 8 Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. 9 This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. 10 This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. 11 Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. 12 No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.

13 This is how we know that we live in him and he in us: He has given us of his Spirit. 14 And we have seen and testify that the Father has sent his Son to be the Savior of the world. 15 If anyone acknowledges that Jesus is the Son of God, God lives in them and they in God. 16 And so we know and rely on the love God has for us.

God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them. 17 This is how love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment: In this world we are like Jesus. 18 There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.

19 We love because he first loved us. 20 Whoever claims to love God yet hates a brother or sister is a liar. For whoever does not love their brother and sister, whom they have seen, cannot love God, whom they have not seen. 21 And he has given us this command: Anyone who loves God must also love their brother and sister.

1 Corinthians 13
If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. 3 If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.

4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10 but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. 11 When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. 12 For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

13 And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.       
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Living with Cranky People.

Photo by:  https://www.flickr.com/people/78428166@N00

I'm reading, The Imitation of Christ, by Thomas A. Kempis (1380-1471). It is a book famous for its depth of spirituality. I just wanted to share parts of this book. The edition I am reading was published in old-fashioned English, so I am going to paraphrase.

It is not hard to associate with kind, gentle people. This is pleasing to all, and everyone enjoys peace and loves those who agree with them. 

But to be able to live peacefully with hard-hearted and irritable persons, disorderly persons, or those who argue with us, is a great grace, and a most commendable and brave thing.

Our whole peace in this world consists in humble suffering, not so much in experiencing troubles. He that knows how to suffer in peace, (being with these kind of people) is conqueror of himself, lord of the world, the friend of Christ and heir of heaven.

Kempis goes on to describe two kinds of people, one of peace the other of passions.

A peaceful man does good and turns all things into good. A passionate man turns even good into evil, and easily believes evil. He who is discontented and troubled, is tossed with many suspicions; he is neither at rest himself nor will let others be at rest.

He often says what he should not say and does not say what he should. He judges what others do without judging himself. He will excuse his own deeds, but will not accept the excuses of others.

If you want to be forgiven and understood, learn to forgive and understand others.

Since there are quite a few cranky people in my family, I have realized two things:

1. Don't take what they say personally. If they are mad at the world, that is their problem. If you can in any way ignore politely what is said or done - do it. If you need to talk with them about their treatment of you, wait for a calm time, sit down with them and say, "Do not speak until I am finished saying what I want to say." Explain how you feel. Probably nothing will change, but at least you tried.

2. Don't have expectations of people. They don't know what you expect, for one thing, and even when you tell them, they usually won't change.  (However, after 40 years of this, they might.)

3. This is the most important thing to do. Ask God to help you to accept and love this person just as they are. Ask when you get angry, ask in the morning, noon and night. God will do this for you. You will be at peace.

4. This may take 20 - 45 years to learn and even then you will goof up.

My 60's With God. The Valley of Death.

Craig with his aunt Christine.

I was going to write about my 60’s in one post, but I can see that isn’t going to happen. I felt I left out a lot about my grandson and his relationship with God in my last post about him, so I’m going to write about that today. When I sit down to write, I’m never sure what will end up on the page. I hope Craig’s story will help someone.

When I was 61, my beloved grandson, Craig, died. When Craig was a teenager, he told me he was an atheist. His step-father was one and he thought that was right. We talked about that a bit and over the years he came to believe there was a God.

Craig was in mental pain most of the time. His biological father had died of a drug overdose. Craig had never gotten to really know him and his death was devastating for him. He had hoped one day to connect with him and have a relationship. He and his brother started doing drugs and getting into trouble with the police. It was a very sad time for all of us. He once got in trouble with a gang who threatened to kill him. One day, I had to wash his blood out of his new winter jacket because they had beaten him. He was in fights a lot. He had a lot of anger inside. He went to jail and had a trial in Vancouver when he hurt someone badly in a fight. He was found not guilty though, because he hadn’t started it.

When he moved to Kelowna, he used to come over and talk with me about his life. He said he had so many regrets. We talked about God. He thought God could not love someone like him, but I told him God loved him even more than I did. He gradually began praying. He went to visit his step-father, who had not been a good father to him. They had long talks and the rift was mended. He went to visit his real father’s ex-wife and his two half-siblings. They all loved Craig. Then he came home, and there was another trial because he was in a fight at a party in Kelowna. He knew we were praying for him. He was also praying. He wanted to be a better person and told us he would like to go to schools and warn teens about drugs. But he was still doing drugs himself.

At his trial, he was found innocent again because it was a free-for-all fight, but he was put on probation. If he did one wrong thing, he would go to jail for a year. When I heard that, I knew he would probably not be able to be good for a year and he would be going to a prison up north. After the trial, Craig was happy and the last thing he said to us was, “Thank you for praying for me.”

That night, he was at a party and drank too much. He passed out face down on a soft sofa and smothered. The coroner said he had seen many teen boys who died this way. Their bodies are too much asleep to turn over and breathe. 

Of course, the whole family was in terrible mourning. My daughters, his cousins – just everyone. But we did all believe he was saved because he had been praying and talking about God. I know I will see him again. That hope is what kept me going, plus the peace of God that came upon me. The Lord is a great comforter. I believe he took Craig, because life was just too hard for him. I said to someone, “I’ve been praying for that boy since the day he was born. I know the Lord has saved Craig from something worse that was going to happen.” I still believe that.

After the funeral, a friend of his wrote on his memorial page, “You taught us the meaning of unconditional love.” Many, many young people came to the funeral and we were comforted by their stories of how Craig had helped them. Even kids from his  elementary school came and told us of Craig’s kindness. We were actually stunned at how many people he had helped during his short life. He was 21 when he died.

Okay, this was going to be about my big mistakes when I was in my 60’s, but I think I will do that next time. I just want to praise and thank God for giving Craig to us for the years he was here. I want to thank Him for taking Craig to himself where he can finally be at peace.

Craig with his father, Gerard.