Don't Be A Mule.

Juancito, which the author calls the best mule of Argentina, on an excursion on the Mitre Peninsula, in Tierra del Fuego, Argentina. In the background is the remains of the SV Duchess of Albany, shipwrecked in 1893. Photograph taken in February 2006.

How wonderful it is that God forgives our sins! If I keep silent about my sins, your hand of conviction will be heavy on me and each day I become weaker. But when I confess my sins, you forgive me the moment I ask. 


All of us need to pray while we still can, while there is still time. God is our hiding place; when trouble comes, he will deliver us.


God says to us, “I will teach and counsel you. My eyes, which are filled with love, are on you. Don’t be like a horse or mule that must be controlled with bit and bridle! Come willingly!


Those who don’t know God also suffer hard times and trouble. But they miss out on God’s unfailing love and comfort, which surrounds those who believe in him.


Rejoice that you know the Lord! Sing to him!


Psalm 32 (In my own words.)

Vision of a Well.

 Vista del interior de un pozo árabe, junto al Castillo de la Aldehuela, Torredelcampo, provincia de Jaén, España.  Photo by: Veinticuatro de Jahén

One of my sisters was praying about her sins. She said she asks God to forgive her sins every day. She was talking with God about sins and how we sometimes commit the same sins over and over.

Suddenly, she saw a well. As she looked down the well, the Lord spoke to her, “You can see through the first inches of water in a well when the sun shines on it. Below those inches is total blackness. Sins are like that. They are underneath the surface, and the Holy Spirit keeps them down and covered. But they can break through sometimes. On earth, you will always have this blackness deep inside you. In heaven, it will be gone.”

Years ago, every time I sinned I felt so guilty and evil that I couldn’t face God in prayer for days. I was ashamed I was capable of sinning after I gave my life to him. But I have learned we do sin after asking him into our hearts and minds. The Bible teaches that, but I had been raised in a church where sin was considered so horrible no real Christian would ever sin.

Actually, God uses our sins to humble us, to keep us from becoming proud. I think we would be insufferable if we were perfect. God did say to be perfect, but it means to reach completion. It is a walk, a life-long journey. I think we all need to learn we are extremely sinful people. Without God, we would do horrible, awful things. We would keep them a secret, if possible, but we really are capable of doing the worst.

Thank God for his forgiving grace and enormous love. Thank God he loves us just as we are and will hold us back from many sins. Thank God he will forgive us seventy times seven in one day if needed. And thank God he is everlastingly patient.

I Lied.

I was reading a blog today about what causes us to sin. I thought about the sin I committed just 2 days ago. Someone asked me where their canvases went (for painting pictures) and I immediately said, “I don’t know.”  But I DID know. I ran out of canvas and used hers. I was going to buy her some new ones to take their place, but I had forgotten.

I gave her one of my canvases and she was happy. But when I was at prayer last night, the Lord convicted me that I must confess my sin to her and apologize. I will do that when she comes over this week.

What really, really got me was the fact that I lie so rarely I can’t even remember the last time I did. But I know why I have lied in the past and I know why I lied 2 days ago. I was afraid.

I was afraid she would be mad at me for using her canvas without asking first. My past lies were to my husband because I was afraid he would get mad at me. So I would lie about what I bought or lie about lots of things that I knew would make him angry.

I’m very ashamed of my behavior, but I realized I haven’t really prayed about my fears. Social phobia is part of my mental illness. I am terrified of being around people now. I wasn’t always this way, but after I had a mental breakdown, I became afraid of everything.

I was afraid of flying, driving over a bridge, shopping, going to church, meeting people, social situations etc. I went to two anxiety clinics which did help me with the flying and bridges; but I’ve never gotten over social anxiety. I was like that in school as a child and teen too, but was better in my thirties and early forties.

I think now is the time to pray about my fear. I have just given into my fear and stayed home as much as I could and I’m very happy here at home. If I do go out, it is usually with my daughters or husband because I’m now terrified of driving! I’m 67 and tired of trying to be normal, but if this fear of mine leads me into sin, then I want Jesus to heal me. I started today to pray about it. I ask for your prayers too.

I think one reason I have never really prayed for God to heal my fears is that I figured it was all bound up in my mental illness and abuse as a little girl. Well, if God wants to heal me, he will; if God doesn’t want to heal me, that’s fine. I’ve asked him to make me aware before I open my mouth not to lie when I’m afraid. I trust him, he will strengthen me to do his will.