The Broken Parts of Our Lives.

 

Painting by Belle Unruh

The Broken Parts of Our Lives.

When I look back on the events in my life that broke my heart, I can see how grief has changed me. The pain in other people’s lives made me want to listen to and help them. My own pain taught me lessons, like how a parent feels when a child rebels and enters into a self-destructive life, and how one feels when someone they love has died. I understand the pain of divorce and mental illness. My heart goes out to those who are suffering and has led me to donate to charities.

Having gone through poverty and a few months of homelessness, I look with pity on people who wander the streets and go through garbage cans. I have a deep desire to give to the poor. Without my own suffering, I probably would have gone on as I did when I was young, happy and carefree, not giving a thought to those who are hurting.

I have seen images of broken pottery being compared to our lives and the caption is usually something like this: “God shines best through our broken spaces.” I decided to paint this image. When I sent a photo of my painting to a friend, he wrote a letter back and told me his story of a broken urn. I want to share this with everyone.

“Around 20 years ago, my wife’s brother was helping us carry items into the house from the cargo bay of our SUV. We had been shopping at a Target Store and had purchased a very large painted ceramic urn that we wanted to use as a decorative indoor accent. We had a hand truck (dolly), but her brother, being a macho man, insisted that he could bear hug the urn and carry it in by himself. We reluctantly agreed to let him do it.  He was 10 feet from where we wanted the urn positioned when he lost his grip and it fell to the floor and shattered.  At first, we thought the urn was a total loss, but it was so expensive that my wife wanted to see if she could salvage it.   Fortunately, most of the pieces were large, enabling her to "work the jigsaw puzzle" and glue them back together. When she finished, we were amazed at the result.

The urn wound up having more character and looking more interesting and beautiful than it was before it was broken. It was "perfectly imperfect." The glue bulged from the cracks a little and turned a tan color, making it appear that the urn was draped in rope.  We have had the urn proudly displayed in our family room ever since with an artificial palm tree inside it. It is a conversation starter. Visitors notice it immediately and remark how lovely it is. They don't believe it when we tell them how it "came together" by accident.”

I believe God allows pain in our lives to make us into better people. Unfortunately, we don’t learn much from a wonderful day at Disneyland. I know death, pain and suffering are a result of sin and come from Satan and everyone shares in that pain. We were given no choice to be born into a fallen world, but God gives us each a chance to follow him. If we do, instead of anger and bitterness at our lot, learning of God’s love for us and the world will melt our hearts and we can learn good from evil.  God’s rescue plan is vast, he has many ways of reaching out to us, and not all of them involve pain. In fact, it was the birth of my first daughter that made me turn my face towards God. I wanted to be a good mother and knew I couldn’t do it without him.

There is a wonderful chapter in the Book of Psalms. It shows in detail how God draws people to himself. I hope you will take the time to read it. Each example of people in terrible trouble ends in praise to God. I’ve shortened the chapter:

Psalm 107

Some wandered in desert wastes,
finding no way to a city to dwell in;
hungry and thirsty,
their soul fainted within them.
Then they cried to the LORD in their trouble,
and he delivered them from their distress.
He led them by a straight way
till they reached a city to dwell in.

Some sat in darkness and in the shadow of death,
prisoners in affliction and in irons,
for they had rebelled against the words of God,
and spurned the counsel of the Most High.
So he bowed their hearts down with hard labor;
they fell down, with none to help.
Then they cried to the LORD in their trouble,
and he delivered them from their distress.
He brought them out of darkness and the shadow of death,
and burst their bonds apart.

Some were fools through their sinful ways,
and because of their iniquities suffered affliction;
they loathed any kind of food,
and they drew near to the gates of death.
Then they cried to the LORD in their trouble,
and he delivered them from their distress.
He sent out his word and healed them,
and delivered them from their destruction.

Some went down to the sea in ships,
doing business on the great waters;
they saw the deeds of the LORD,
his wondrous works in the deep.
For he commanded and raised the stormy wind,
which lifted up the waves of the sea.
They mounted up to heaven; they went down to the depths;
their courage melted away in their evil plight;
they reeled and staggered like drunken men
and were at their wits’ end.
Then they cried to the LORD in their trouble,
and he delivered them from their distress.
He made the storm be still,
and the waves of the sea were hushed.
Then they were glad that the waters were quiet,
and he brought them to their desired haven.

Let them thank the LORD for his steadfast love,
for his wondrous works to the children of man!
And let them offer sacrifices of thanksgiving,
and tell of his deeds in songs of joy!

Fear in Times of Trouble.

These are trying times for everyone. We can’t see the future and feel powerless over the COVID-19 virus. We are used to having some control over our lives and that seems to be gone. Most of us have lives of trying to cope with problems without the virus; with the virus, life can feel overwhelming.


I am taking care of my 92-year-old mother. The doctor recently prescribed morphine for her because her constant angina wasn’t letting her sleep for more than an hour or two at a time. I’ve been trying one pill, then two pills. If she doesn’t have enough food in her stomach before taking the pill, she gets nauseated and sometimes vomits. I’ve found the solution in giving her a bowl of cereal before she goes to bed; that seems to work the best with one pill at night.


My heart overturns sometimes when I look at my mom. She is so weak and fragile and feels yucky a lot of the time. I wish none of this was happening to her, but I am powerless over her illness.


Each day I pray for God’s strength and he always gives it to me. But last night I watched a video online that showed a woman in her 90s who got the virus and lived through it. I’m so glad she did, but what she described was truly awful and painful. I began to feel deep fear about getting the virus. I'm not afraid of death, but I am afraid of pain.


As I was praying later that night, I was reminded of the many people in the Bible who were close to God and suffered greatly. It felt like the Lord was telling me I shouldn’t expect a life with no suffering; he never promises that.  Jesus said, “Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.” John 16:33


When I think of how David was running and hiding from King Saul for 20 years, I can understand why he wrote Psalms of sorrow and fear. When I think of Daniel and his friends being taken away from their homes and families in Jerusalem and made to be slaves for the king of Babylon, I think of the long journey there. They were forced to walk for miles and miles before they arrived. Perhaps they saw their parents and siblings killed when Jerusalem fell. Their faith in God was surely tested.


Jeremiah and Isaiah both suffered greatly because they spoke out for God. They did what God asked them to do yet were jailed. Jewish history says Isaiah was sawn in half by King Manasseh. Jeremiah was hunted down and hated by the rulers of Jerusalem. It is only because of the king’s mercy that he stayed alive until the city fell.


In the New Testament, the disciples of Jesus were persecuted and all died from murder except John. Paul writes about the Thessalonians who had all their property taken away because they became Christians. Thousands lost their lives to different emperors of Rome.


These are some of the sufferings of Paul that he wrote about in 2 Corinthians:

In my frequent journeys, I have been in danger from rivers and from bandits, in danger from my countrymen and from the Gentiles, in danger in the city and in the country, in danger on the sea and among false brothers, in labor and toil and often without sleep, in hunger and thirst and often without food, in cold and exposure. Verses 26,27


…in harder labor, in more imprisonments, in worse beatings, in frequent danger of death. Five times I received from the Jews the forty lashes minus one. Three times I was beaten with rods, once I was stoned, three times I was shipwrecked. I spent a night and a day in the open sea. Verses, 23-25


For myself I can say, I don’t really know what it is to suffer like Paul. Still, I have my own sufferings and I know God sympathizes with me; he walks with me through my sufferings; he gives me strength to bear up under them but he doesn’t always take them away. 


I believe Jesus is returning very soon. If that is so, the COVID-19 virus is only the beginning of suffering at this time. I was reading Isaiah chapter 24 this morning and came across the condition of the world at the time of the end: Verses 4-6 
  

The earth mourns and withers;
the world languishes and withers;
the highest people of the earth languish.


The earth lies defiled (polluted)
under its inhabitants;
for they have transgressed the laws,
violated the statutes,
broken the everlasting covenant.

Therefore, a curse devours the earth,
and its inhabitants suffer for their guilt;
therefore the inhabitants of the earth are scorched,
and few men are left.

Jesus said in Matthew 24:21-26 For at that time there will be great tribulation, unmatched from the beginning of the world until now, and never to be seen again. If those days had not been cut short, nobody would be saved. But for the sake of the elect, those days will be cut short. 

At that time, if anyone says to you, ‘Look, here is the Christ!’ or ‘There He is,’ do not believe it. For false Christs and false prophets will appear and perform great signs and wonders that would deceive even the elect, if that were possible. See, I have told you in advance. )

So if they tell you, ‘There He is in the wilderness,’ do not go out; or, ‘Here He is in the inner rooms,’ do not believe it. For just as the lightning comes from the east and flashes as far as the west, so will be the coming of the Son of Man. 

In Daniel 12:1-4, it says “At that time Michael, the great prince who stands watch over your people, will rise up. There will be a time of trouble, the likes of which will not have occurred from the beginning of nations until that time. But at that time your people—everyone whose name is found written in the book—will be delivered. 

And many who sleep in the dust of the earth will awake, some to everlasting life, but others to shame and everlasting contempt. Then the wise will shine like the brightness of the heavens, and those who lead many to righteousness will shine like the stars forever and ever. 

But you, Daniel, shut up these words and seal the book until the time of the end. Many will roam to and fro and knowledge will increase.” 

One of the best things Jesus said was, “Don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will have itself to think about. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”  Matthew 6:34

I heard something online today that lifted my heart. It was, "I am not a strong rock, but I stand on one.

Don't Refuse God's Comfort.

“A voice was heard in Ramah, weeping and loud lamentation, Rachel weeping for her children; she refused to be comforted, because they are no more.” 

Matthew 2:18

This verse is also found in Jeremiah. Matthew says it was the fulfillment of a prophecy of when Herod killed the little children in Bethlehem, after hearing of the birth of Jesus, “the king of the Jews.” He wanted to make sure there was no king but him.

The mothers of these children refused to be comforted.

I don’t remember what book I read where the author quoted this and said they could have been comforted by God, but refused.

I’d never thought about what that verse meant, besides a great sorrow. The author said we must allow God to comfort us because if we don’t, sin will follow. I believe he is right.

Right now, in my family, there is a lot of sorrow and grief. My youngest sister’s friend is dying of cervical cancer, my daughter’s mother-in-law is in the hospital with lung cancer, my older sister’s son committed suicide last fall, my grandson is suffering from depression, my mother has colon cancer, my youngest granddaughter has Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and is in great mental pain, which is giving her mother deep emotional pain.

If we don’t allow God to comfort us and walk through this with us, we will start asking, “Why us?”  “Why me?”  We could become bitter and angry. We could begin to blame and hate God, who has allowed all this to happen and put us in such a terrible world.

Yesterday, when I heard my granddaughter was feeling worse, I felt so burdened and sad. I remembered this verse and told God I wanted his comfort. I needed his comfort. I receive his comfort by prayer, reading the Psalms and remembering what Jesus suffered.

This I know, God has not asked us to go through anything he has not gone through.

“For as we share abundantly in Christ’s sufferings, so through Christ we share abundantly in comfort too.”  2 Corinthians 1:5

“Now if we are children, then we are heirs--heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory.”  Romans 8:17

“But rejoice insofar as you share Christ’s sufferings, that you may also rejoice and be glad when his glory is revealed.”  1 Peter 4:13

“I want to know Christ--yes, to know the power of his resurrection and participation in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death.” 

Philippians 3:10

“…and our hope for you is firmly grounded, knowing that as you are sharers of our sufferings, so also you are sharers of our comfort.”

2 Corinthians 1:7

Coping with Fibromyalgia.

(I have to update this post since I forgot to write about what pills I take to help me feel stronger. Once, when I had a bad cold, I took a cold medicine and noticed it also helped my fibromyalgia. I began to take one every day and yes, it helped a lot to give me strength in place of exhaustion. Then I found out about my allergies, so now I take Benedryl Total Extra Strength. I take one in the morning and one in the evening. I can feel the benefits within 1/2 hour. I also take Vit B12, because it works to take the numbness from my legs. I'm also on an anti-depressant, which they say is supposed to help.)

I got fibromyalgia when I was 45 years old; I am now 66.  I was in a car crash and got whiplash. The first time I noticed my body was different was when I went to pick strawberries in an open field. I grabbed a bucket, bent down and began to pick. The pain through my body was terrible. I couldn't stay bent for more than a few seconds. It was also painful to try to stand up. I had to take back the bucket and leave.

I started to have pain in my neck, shoulders, arms and legs. The pain would be in one area and then jump to another area. I started feeling exhausted all the time.

Then I noticed my legs and feet would swell up. I would wake up with my hands bent like claws and have to push my fingers outward. I couldn't open them up by themselves. I went to the doctor and he suspected MS, which is pretty scary. It wasn't MS, it was fibromyalgia. Nothing to do but take ibuprophen, he said.

I did that, but then I went to a naturopath. I especially wanted her to do something about my swollen legs. She told me about a book called, "Eat Right for Your Blood Type, by Dr. Peter J. D' Adamo. She said I could be sensitive to food. I bought it and read it. As soon as I started following the diet I felt better. Also, I had to give up Diet Coke. Drinking no Diet Coke stopped my legs from being so swollen, but my legs would still go numb and so would my toes. If I ate one thing not on the diet, I got sick.

I followed that diet for years, especially not eating any bread except Spelt bread. Then I decided to try acupuncture. The treatments really helped my legs and feet; I didn't have any more trouble with them swelling any longer. Then I read about NAET:

https://www.naet-canada.com/

NAET® was discovered by Dr. Devi S. Nambudripad’s in November 1983. NAET® is an innovative, non-invasive, drug free, natural solution that may alleviate sensitivities of all types and intensities. NAET® utilizes a blend of selected energy balancing, testing, and treatment procedures from acupuncture/acupressure, allopathic, chiropractic, nutritional, and kinesiological disciplines of medicine.

One sensitivity is treated at a time with NAET®. If you are not severely immune deficient, you may need just one session for a sensitivity. A person with mild to moderate amount of sensitivities may take about 15-20 office visits to desensitize 15-20 food and environmental substances.

I couldn't afford the treatments, so my sister paid for a lot of them. They were working, but the cost was just too high and I stopped going. However, I did understand what they were doing. They found out what foods I was sensitive to and I would hold a vial with its essence in it while they did the acupuncture.

When I went back to my acupuncturist, I took food with me that made me sick. One was cheese and one was soda pop since I missed it so much. I wish I hadn't done the pop. Lol  Anyway, I could eat those foods and still can all these years later. The treatments really do work.

About 2 years ago, my sister was reading online how all food has histamines in them. We both started a low-histamine diet. Both of us got better within a few weeks. So, that's what I'm doing now. I've been thinking about going back to NAET because it was working so well. I think we are covered for a lot of sessions by my husband's work. I'm just tired of the whole thing and feel tolerably well, so I don't want to bother.

I hope this helps some people who have fibromyalgis. It is a horrible affliction when you don't know how to  get better. Doctors just give pills, but there are healthier ways to feel better. Most of the time I am not in pain. I am tired a lot. If I do too much work at one time, I am exhausted. But I'm still much better than I was.

I'm going to give you a list of foods that make my fibromyalgia worsen:

Diet anything. No aspartame, no artificial sweetener at all.
Berries
Fruit juices/Smoothies
Anything with yeast in it, especially any bread.
I do eat thin crust pizza. I get tired, but not pain.
I can have things like perogies made with flour but no yeast.
Chocolate. I know, I know. It is very sad. It is one of my worst triggers.
Vinegar
Spices - any kind.
Too much salt.
Additives and preservatives.
Packaged food.
Eat only Delicious Apples
Anything pickled.
Any kind of tea. Absolutely awful for me. They are made from leaves. High in histamines.

Even though nuts are high in histamines, they don't seem to bother me if they are roasted. I can eat peanut butter too.

Well, everyone's body is different. My set of triggers may not be your set. It is very easy to find out what foods you are sensitive to. Any naturopath can test you for this in one visit. If you don't have enough money to go, then you can hold the food in both your hands, close your eyes and see if you begin to fall forward, backward or stay upright easily. The foods that push you backwards are the foods to avoid.