Sometimes We Feel Overwhelmed. Like Every Day.

Photo by: Jukka from HELSINKI, Finland

“From the end of the earth I will cry to You; when my heart is overwhelmed, lead me to the rock that is higher than I.”   Psalm 61:2


I’ve been feeling overwhelmed lately, and yes, I cried out to God and he lifted me to stand on the rock, Jesus. I often wonder how people manage life without Jesus.


My mother is 92, and has been living with us for around 4 years. There have been many ups and downs in her health. We have called for an ambulance at least 5 times. She broke her hip, had an operation, got an infection, was diagnosed with colon cancer and had heart attacks. She sleeps a lot, but still eats (not very much) and enjoys watching TV, playing Yahtzee and reading magazines. Her short-term memory is gone, so she has had to stop reading books.


Two or three weeks ago, she started coughing a lot. It wasn’t a cold, so I took her to the doctor. It turned out she has acid reflux so bad that she had burned her throat. She had had no symptoms of acid reflux, so I was surprised. But the doctor was right, after giving her the new medicine she got better. She started sleeping through the night again.


As soon as she was a bit better, her sciatic nerve went wonky and she was in terrible pain one morning. She would scream at the slightest move. It was so hard for her to get out of bed, go to the bathroom – just everything. 


But I thank God for the internet. I looked up sciatic pain and one of the things an article said was it can be caused by slumping in your chair. Well, Mom was slumping lately. She said she was comfy when she was doing it, but I told her it might be causing her sciatica to give her pain. I started watching and having her sit up straight when she was up.


It worked. I gave her pills for the pain too, of course, but she has needed less and less medication. She can move around easily now.


All this time I have called out to God for help because I wasn’t getting enough sleep. Night after night being woken by my poor mom was making me feel exhausted. (Like new parents with a baby – very difficult, I know.) But believe me, God came through, like he always does and I was able to take care of my mom. I’m so grateful to Him.


This morning, I was thinking about my grandson, who has had an off and on addiction to heroin. Actually, I think about him every day and pray for him. His life has been so sad it just brings me to tears to think of him. We all love him so much and it has been so painful for everyone in the family to see how he has suffered.


Thinking about him makes my heart sink and I knew I was thinking too much because I was getting depressed. Maybe because I’ve been so tired too. I was feeling overwhelmed. So, I prayed and went to do my Bible study. I’ve been writing out the Bible in my own words, hoping to put the words deep in my heart.


What I read really encouraged me and I want to share it with you. It is from Philippians 3. The whole chapter is beautiful, and I will share that some other time, but these are the words that helped me the most this morning:

Paul writes, “I want to know Jesus, yes, I want to know the power of his resurrection and also participate in his sufferings.”


This stopped me cold. Do I want to participate in his sufferings? No, I don’t. I am weak and a whiny baby. I want everything to be great and to not have any problems and I want to see everyone in my family to be well and happy with no problems.


Jesus suffered, but not only on the cross. He suffered when Lucifer and a whack of angels turned their backs on him. They were his children. He suffered when he saw the grief around him as he walked this earth. He suffered when his brothers made fun of him. He suffered when his earthly father, Joseph, died. He suffered when Judas betrayed him. He suffered when the church of his day rejected him and called him demon-possessed.


He suffers now. When I think someone in my family will not be saved, my heart melts from pain. He has to see those on earth, through the thousands of years we have been here, who reject his offer of eternal life. He loves them. He died for them. They are his children too. He says he was there the day they were born, hoping for them that they would have faith.


Do I want to participate in his sufferings? No, but I will pray that I will. I will pray God will give me the strength, because I have none. I will pray for the mind and heart of Jesus. I will pray he will fill me with himself, and I know he will do that for me, simply because I asked.

Mom Fell Down.

Mom has been very comfortable in the hospital, but they continue to want her to walk. She woke in the middle of the night and was confused. She is supposed to ring for help. She didn’t, and she fell trying to reach the bathroom.

The fall was a hard one. She hit the back of her head, which tore and she was bleeding. I’m not sure how long she lay there since she doesn’t know either. They taped the skin together and put a large, turban-like bandage around her head. They called me in the morning and I went to see her right away. She isn’t in any pain, not even a headache. I’m very glad. They put a sensor on her that will give an alarm if she tries to get out of bed by herself again. I wish they had put it on her from the beginning. I think they should put one on every old person there. She is still cold most of the time and her hands are icy.

My cousin and his wife came to stay with us for 6 days. They knew I was feeling upset and it was wonderful to see them. They took us out for drives in the country and for dinner every night. I really appreciate what they did.

My daughter had a meeting with two representatives from Interior Health and they told her Mom didn’t have to go back to our home. I guess all the letter-writing I did paid off and of course God was working for us. 

I went to a chiropractor about my foot. He used Shock-Wave Therapy on it and told me to buy Birkinstock sandals. My cousin bought the sandals and I could walk better by evening. Each day my foot got better and now I don’t even need the cane. I’m so happy. I get two more treatments on that foot and then three on the left foot, which is sore when I walk, but not horribly so.

Thank you all so much for your prayers. It means a lot to me to know people are praying for Mom and the family.

My Mom is Dying.

My mom got an infection after hip surgery. They didn’t know until she had been sent to a rehabilitation center. In my mind she seemed too sick to do exercises and I was right. We took her home to take care of her ourselves.

The government sent a nurse to our house to evaluate her. They wanted to know if she could exercise and teach me how to take care of her. The nurse was lovely. She met the family and then went into Mom’s room and talked with her and me.

She could see Mom was too weak and sick to do any exercises. She explained how much easier it would be for me to take care of mother if we had a hospital bed. She said the Red Cross loaned them for no cost for 6 – 9 months. After that we have to buy our own. So, we ordered one from the Red Cross. We also are able to have two nurse’s aides come and give mother a bath once a week and take care of her for three hours while my husband and I go out. The cost is covered by the government.

Mom’s infection was cured; now she is just tired and wants to sleep day and night. She isn’t eating anything, but drinks water, Boost and orange juice. I have read that when we are dying, we no longer have an appetite. This is our body helping us die peacefully.

My husband, daughters and granddaughters have been helping me. Mom is restless and wants to turn over in bed often. Actually this is good for her because of bed sores. I would have to move her every two hours anyway. When she had the infection she wanted to be turned about every 15 minutes. That was extremely tiring. My husband and I took turns so we could sleep.

I bought a book called, “Meditating on the Psalms,” by John Eaton. I’ve been enjoying it very much. He writes about “alphabetic” or “ acrostic” Psalms. The poet begins the song with the A of their alphabet and each line begins with the next letter. I thought I would try to write one myself. Here it is:

All the Lord does is beautiful.

Beautiful in love, wisdom and mercy.

Call upon the Lord, and he will hear you.

Depend on his saving grace.

Everything that breathes, the Lord has made.

From the ant to the whale, God made us all.

He reigns in the heavens.

In his throne room he rules over all.

Justice and righteousness are the foundation of his throne.

Keep your eyes, heart and mind upon the Lord.

Look on him who is perfect.

Many are his marvelous words and works.

Never lean upon man; lean upon God.

Open your heart to him.

Pour out your thoughts and sorrows.

Quietly, he will strengthen you.

Rest in his everlasting love.

Surely, he will save your soul.

Tenderly he will lead you.

Under the shadow of his wings you will find refuge.

Vast are his thoughts towards you.

Why should we worry or be troubled?

eXalt his name in all the earth.

Your heart he will fill with peace and love.

Zion is his habitation and from there he will reign over us.