Two weeks
ago, my husband had a “massive stroke.” The doctor called us and told us to
prepare for the worst. They told my daughters, who live 6 hours away to, “Leave
now.” So, they did. We called all our family and all his family. Everyone
started praying.
Because I
have been a Christian for 50 years and there have been other deaths in our
family, I believed God knew what he was doing, (which wasn’t always the case.).
I told God I knew my husband was in his hands and I trusted him to do what was
best for all of us.
My husband
lived for a day, and then another day and began rapidly improving. The doctors
were stunned. His speech was slurring slightly and his face drooped a bit, but
he could move his left arm and leg, which had been paralyzed.
He seemed to
have all his past memories intact, but his short-term memories would come and
go. He wasn’t sure why he was in the hospital each morning and he had forgotten
about the pandemic. He asked me on the phone why I hadn’t come to visit, so my
daughter made a sign to hang by his bed which explained about Covid-19 and that
we weren’t allowed to visit.
At the
beginning, when the doctors thought he was dying, they allowed me into the ICU
to see him. In order to get past the front desk of the hospital, I had to say, “My
husband is dying.” Those words felt strange to me, as if I was lying to them, as
if it couldn’t possibly be true.
I held my
husband’s hand and we spoke awhile until he fell asleep. I was glad he knew who
I was and could respond. He was shocked he had a stroke. He thought it was carcinoid
tumors, which he has had for over 20 years, that had caused this illness.
The next
day, he seemed worse, more tired than before and barely spoke. I didn’t expect
him to live much longer. But lo and behold, the next day he was joking with the
nurses! He was weak, but alert. It was wonderful to see. They moved him out of
ICU a few days later and put him in a regular ward.
Well, there
was a lot of rejoicing in the family, as you can imagine. We thank God for
healing him. I know God does not heal everyone from an illness. If he did, then
no one would die and we would be pretty crowded here on earth. Death is a part
of life and I accept that. I want to thank him here on this blog, for giving me
his comfort, strength and love during this hard time. This is his greatest gift
to the world. He gave these things to me when my grandson died and I knew he
would do it again.
God’s peace
inside me is something I want the world to know, because those who don’t
believe in God don’t realize what they are missing. I wish everyone would give
God a chance to show them what he can do. He is light, love, mercy,
forgiveness, peace, and joy.
“You keep him in perfect
peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you.”
Isaiah 26:3
Have I always
had perfect peace? No. It took me many years to learn to trust God. I had been
abused as a child by my father, so learning to trust God was very hard for me.
But the longer my mind was, “stayed on God,” the more I began to trust. I used
to rage and wail against the dark things in my life, but no more. I’ve found
that in the deepest dark I am actually learning and growing as a person. And God
is there standing beside me, giving me strength and hope.
God says:
“I have
upheld you and carried you since the day you were born. Even to your old age
and grey hairs, I am he.
I have made
you; I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you.” Isaiah 46:3,4
