My Husband's Stroke.

 

The moon surrounded by clouds, My own photo.

Two weeks ago, my husband had a “massive stroke.” The doctor called us and told us to prepare for the worst. They told my daughters, who live 6 hours away to, “Leave now.” So, they did. We called all our family and all his family. Everyone started praying.

Because I have been a Christian for 50 years and there have been other deaths in our family, I believed God knew what he was doing, (which wasn’t always the case.). I told God I knew my husband was in his hands and I trusted him to do what was best for all of us.

My husband lived for a day, and then another day and began rapidly improving. The doctors were stunned. His speech was slurring slightly and his face drooped a bit, but he could move his left arm and leg, which had been paralyzed.

He seemed to have all his past memories intact, but his short-term memories would come and go. He wasn’t sure why he was in the hospital each morning and he had forgotten about the pandemic. He asked me on the phone why I hadn’t come to visit, so my daughter made a sign to hang by his bed which explained about Covid-19 and that we weren’t allowed to visit.

At the beginning, when the doctors thought he was dying, they allowed me into the ICU to see him. In order to get past the front desk of the hospital, I had to say, “My husband is dying.” Those words felt strange to me, as if I was lying to them, as if it couldn’t possibly be true.

I held my husband’s hand and we spoke awhile until he fell asleep. I was glad he knew who I was and could respond. He was shocked he had a stroke. He thought it was carcinoid tumors, which he has had for over 20 years, that had caused this illness.

The next day, he seemed worse, more tired than before and barely spoke. I didn’t expect him to live much longer. But lo and behold, the next day he was joking with the nurses! He was weak, but alert. It was wonderful to see. They moved him out of ICU a few days later and put him in a regular ward.

Well, there was a lot of rejoicing in the family, as you can imagine. We thank God for healing him. I know God does not heal everyone from an illness. If he did, then no one would die and we would be pretty crowded here on earth. Death is a part of life and I accept that. I want to thank him here on this blog, for giving me his comfort, strength and love during this hard time. This is his greatest gift to the world. He gave these things to me when my grandson died and I knew he would do it again.

God’s peace inside me is something I want the world to know, because those who don’t believe in God don’t realize what they are missing. I wish everyone would give God a chance to show them what he can do. He is light, love, mercy, forgiveness, peace, and joy.

“You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you.”   Isaiah 26:3

Have I always had perfect peace? No. It took me many years to learn to trust God. I had been abused as a child by my father, so learning to trust God was very hard for me. But the longer my mind was, “stayed on God,” the more I began to trust. I used to rage and wail against the dark things in my life, but no more. I’ve found that in the deepest dark I am actually learning and growing as a person. And God is there standing beside me, giving me strength and hope.

God says:

“I have upheld you and carried you since the day you were born. Even to your old age and grey hairs, I am he.

I have made you; I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you.”     Isaiah 46:3,4

Anyone can used my blog writings for any reason. 

Who Told You that You Were Naked?

 

The vast majority of people in the world do not want to walk around naked. For one thing, unless you are a movie star, your body isn’t flawless. How would we behave if someone came up to us and stripped off our clothes while we were at the mall or walking down the sidewalk? Embarrassed and ashamed are the first words that pop into my mind.

 I was listening to Hunter Beless’s podcast, “Journeywoman,” last week. (My absolute favorite podcast.) She had Nancy Guthrie on as a guest. They were talking about Ms. Guthrie’s book, “Even Better than Eden: Nine Ways the Bible’s Story Changes Everything About Your Story.” During the conversation, they talked about Adam and Eve’s nakedness after they sinned. That got me thinking.

I have seen many paintings of Adam and Eve done by long gone famous artists. In every one, Adam and Eve are walking around the Garden of Eden stark naked. This has always felt weird to me, because Adam and Eve themselves thought they had clothes on!

Here is an excerpt from the Bible:

“And they heard the sound of the LORD God walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and the man and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the LORD God among the trees of the garden. 

 But the LORD God called to the man and said to him, “Where are you?”  And he said, ‘I heard the sound of you in the garden, and I was afraid, because I was naked, and I hid myself.’ 

God said, ‘Who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten of the tree of which I commanded you not to eat?’

(Now begins the blame game.) The man said, ‘The woman whom you gave to be with me, she gave me fruit of the tree, and I ate.’  Then the LORD God said to the woman, ‘What is this that you have done?’ The woman said, ‘The serpent deceived me, and I ate.’”    Genesis 3:8-13

Apparently, Adam and Eve were covered with something. You can see from the story that they hid from God’s sight because they were ashamed of their nakedness. I would guess they had been clothed with garments like the angels wear: white, bright and beautiful.

Why did these garments disappear? Because they had chosen to betray God and listen to a snake rather than him. They had turned against him by desiring to also be gods. When they did this, the covering from God left them.

This event is actually an allegory of what happens to us when we spurn God and go our own way through life. We are like soldiers going out to battle naked and alone. We have no defense against our enemies, human or spiritual.

But God can be our defense. As he made clothing for Adam and Eve out of animal skins, so he will clothe us with the blood of Jesus. Those animals had to die so Adam and Eve could be covered. Jesus had to die so we could be covered with his sacrifice. The penalty for turning from God is eternal death, because if you choose to live without God, there is no life after death here. God is the creator of all life and without him we cannot live.

 But Jesus took that doom for us on the cross. He said to his father, “I will take their place and give them a way of escape. I will be nailed, naked on a cross, and anyone who comes to me for covering will one day come to heaven and live with us forever.” (My own words.)

 Jesus did die naked on a cross. He was naked and bleeding, hung between heaven and earth, taking the fate of the human race upon himself.

“Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider Him who endured such hostility from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.”  Hebrews 12:2-3

There is a scene of heaven with God on his throne that Zechariah, the prophet saw. This scene shows the transfer of death to life for Joshua, the high priest at that time.

Zechariah 3:1-5

Then the angel showed me Joshua the high priest standing before the angel of the LORD, with Satan standing at his right hand to accuse him.

And the LORD said to Satan: “The LORD rebukes you, Satan! Indeed, the LORD, who has chosen Jerusalem, rebukes you! Is not this man a firebrand snatched from the fire?”

Now Joshua was dressed in filthy garments as he stood before the angel. So, the angel said to those standing before him, “Take off his filthy clothes!”

Then he said to Joshua, “See, I have removed your iniquity, and I will clothe you with splendid robes.”

Then I said, “Let them put a clean turban on his head.” So, a clean turban was placed on his head, and they clothed him, as the angel of the LORD stood by.

I pray we will all accept this offer of forgiveness and acceptance from God. He is longing for you to accept him. Please give him a chance to show you what he is like.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Why Does Jesus call himself, "The Son of Man?"

 

Jesus spoke of himself by the title, “The Son of Man,” more often than anything else. He sometimes called himself The Son of God, The Good Shepherd, The Door, The Bread of Life, and The Light of the World. He has many titles, but The Son of Man was his favorite.

I think it is my favorite too because he knows what it is like to be a human being on this planet. He understands our weaknesses. He is our brother during this great war between good and evil.

Jesus said, “But so that you may know that the Son of Man has authority on earth to forgive sins...” He said to the paralytic, “I tell you, get up, pick up your mat, and go home.”

And immediately the man got up, picked up his mat, and walked out in front of them all. As a result, they were all astounded and glorified God, saying, “We have never seen anything like this!”   Mark 2:10-12

Jesus said, “For John the Baptist came neither eating bread nor drinking wine, and you say, ‘He has a demon!’  The Son of Man came eating and drinking, and you say, ‘Look at this glutton and drunkard, a friend of tax collectors and sinners!’ But wisdom is vindicated by all her children.”   Luke 7:33-35

“You know that after two days the Passover is coming, and the Son of Man will be delivered up to be crucified.”   Matthew 26:2

"Then will appear the sign of the Son of Man in heaven. And then all the peoples of the earth will mourn when they see the Son of Man coming on the clouds of heaven, with power and great glory.   Matthew 24:30

“So, if they tell you, ‘There He is in the wilderness,’ do not go out; or, ‘Here He is in the inner rooms,’ do not believe it.  For just as the lightning comes from the east and flashes as far as the west, so will be the coming of the Son of Man.”   Matthew 24:26,27

“For the Son of Man will come in His Father’s glory with His angels, and then He will repay each one according to what he has done.”   Matthew 16:27

“Truly, truly, I tell you, the hour is coming and has now come when the dead will hear the voice of the Son of God, and those who hear will live.  For as the Father has life in Himself, so also, He has granted the Son to have life in Himself. And He has given Him authority to execute judgment, because He is the Son of Man.”  John 5:25-27

Jesus says God the Father has life in himself and has given that to him also. And he has given authority to Jesus to be the judge of all humankind. The reason? Because along with being the Son of God, he is the Son of Man, and it is this that gives him the insight to judge us. He was a human being like us and felt what it is like to be us. Therefore, he can judge correctly.

The Pulpit Commentary says this:

“Verse 27. - And he gave him (i.e. the Son, the God-Man) authority to execute judgment, because he is Son of man. He has vindicated his power to confer life upon the dead by asserting the possession by "the Son" of the Divine Sonship. He now adds, so far as the relation to man is concerned, his fitness and authority to administer justice, to preside over the entire juridical process, to lift the scales, to determine the destiny of the human race. The fitness is seen in this, that he, "the Son," is "the Son of man." The one term, "THE SON," entirely covers the twofold Sonship. The proof of his humanity is assumed to be complete. The fact of it is the ground that he who knows what is in man should be the Judge of men.

By personal experience of man's temptations and frailties; by knowing every palliation of our sins, every extenuation of our failures, every aggravation of our weakness; by gazing through human eyes with human consciousness upon our mysterious destiny, he is competent to judge; whereas by being Son of God as well as Son of man, he is entrusted with power to execute the judgment of the Eternal.

The principle involved is based upon perfect justice. The honour thus conferred on the God-Man is infinite, the consolation thus held out to man unspeakable. We are being judged by Christ, not by impersonal law. The entire incidence upon every individual of the Law is in the hands of the Redeemer. The Saviour, the Life-giver, the Voice which quickens the dead, assigns the judgment. We must be careful, in any inference we draw from this grand utterance, to avoid all suspicion of schism or rivalry between the Father and the Son. 

The Son is not more merciful than the Father. For the Father of the Old Testament pities his children, and knows their frame (Psalm 103:13, 14), and the Father of Jesus Christ loves the world, and counts the very hairs of our heads. The Son will not exercise this judgment with less regard to the claims of eternal justice than the Father; but his knowledge of humanity is, by the nature of the case, a guarantee of such application of the justice of God to the case of every individual, that man's knowledge of himself will be able personally to justify and verify it. The Divine judgment will go forth from the heart of man himself.”

 

Why Read the Bible?

Photo by: Ken Horn:   https://www.flickr.com/photos/hornkl/3024796815

“In the beginning was the Word. The Word was with God and was God.” Genesis 1:1

Two definitions for “word:”

“The expressed or manifested mind and will of God.” Merriam-Webster Dictionary

“A speech sound, or series of speech sounds, that symbolizes and communicates a meaning...” Merriam-Webster Dictionary

“By the word of the LORD the heavens were made, their starry host by the breath of his mouth.” Psalm 33:6

“By faith we understand that the universe was formed at God's command, so that what is seen was not made out of what was visible.  Hebrews 11:3

“For he spoke, and it came to be; he commanded, and it stood firm.”  Psalm 33:9

This is what makes God be God. No one else in heaven or earth can speak a word and create something.

“Remember what happened long ago,

for I am God, and there is no other;

I am God, and there is none like Me.

I declare the end from the beginning,

and ancient times from what is still to come.”   Isaiah 46:9,10

 

“For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.   Hebrews 4:12

God’s word is alive and active: His words in the Bible are alive because as we read them the Holy Spirit takes the words and imbues them with energy or life itself. Then puts these words in our minds. He makes the words meaningful and relevant to our lives. We can sometimes think, “This is beautiful. This is interesting. This is something I always want to remember.” Later on, God will remind us of these words which will help us in our lives.

This was how John saw Jesus in a vision, “He held in His right hand seven stars, and a sharp double-edged sword came from His mouth. His face was like the sun shining at its brightest.”

God's Word judges our thoughts and attitudes.

This is a marvelous work of the Word of God. When we read the Bible, we can become convicted of what we are doing wrong. But not only doing, what we are thinking! If the Bible says we are to love our enemies and we know we don’t, then the words of God convict us we are in the wrong.

Our attitudes can be destructive. If we have an attitude of pride for ourselves and contempt for others, we don’t even have to say a word, that attitude can be seen through our body language. We can sneer, roll our eyes, turn and walk away etc. There are so many ways our attitudes can hurt people and God doesn’t miss a trick.

 Our Words have power too:

“You brood of vipers! How can you speak good, when you are evil? For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks.”  Matthew 12:34

Solomon wrote, “Life and death are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit.”   Proverbs 18:21

This has been shown to be true in this world of sorrow. People lie on the witness stand, they bully people online, they gossip or spread lies either online or to other people.

These kinds of words have caused people to die for a crime they didn’t commit. They have caused people to commit suicide. They have caused people to become depressed, angry, and vengeful.

Jesus said to the religious rulers of his day, “Make a tree good and its fruit will be good, or make a tree bad and its fruit will be bad; for a tree is known by its fruit. You brood of vipers, how can you who are evil say anything good? For out of the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks.

The good man brings good things out of his good store of treasure, and the evil man brings evil things out of his evil store of treasure. (God’s words are like a treasure you store in your mind.) But I tell you that men will give an account on the day of judgment for every careless word they have spoken. For by your words you will be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned.”   Matthew 12:33-37

Ellicott’s Commentary for English Readers says:

(36) Every idle word that men shall speak.—The teaching, though general in form, still looks back to the hard, bitter words of the Pharisees which had been the starting-point of the discourse. Our Lord does not speak, as we might have expected, of “every evil word,” but of “every idle—i.e., useless and purposeless—word,” the random utterances which, as being more spontaneous, betray character more than deliberate speech. Such an “idle word” had been the passing taunt, “He casts out devils by Beelzebub.” It is not said, however, that for every such random speech a man shall be condemned, but that he shall give an account for it. It will enter into that great total which determines the divine estimate of his character, and, therefore, the issues of the great “day of judgment.”

On the other hand, our words can help heal a person who is going through a difficult time. We can bring happiness, gratitude, love and all the good things to others with our words.

Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in your sight, O LORD, my strength, and my redeemer.  Psalm 19:4

A gentle answer deflects anger, but harsh words make tempers flare.  Proverbs 15:1

The words of a wise man's mouth are gracious; but the lips of a fool will swallow up himself.   Ecclesiastes 10:12

A person finds joy in giving an apt reply-- and how good is a timely word!   Proverbs 15:23

Like apples of gold in settings of silver Is a word spoken in right circumstances.   Proverbs 25:11

God’s words are always life. He himself embodies life and love. We can trust his words.

‘Your word is a lamp to guide my feet and a light for my path.”   Psalm 119:105

What I Learned from My Post About My Mother's Illness.

A few weeks ago, I posted “My Mother’s Illness and Death: The Unkindness of the Medical Establishment.” I learned something about myself today. I hadn’t forgiven those nurses who hurt me.

I’m a believer in Jesus, and of course forgiveness was one of the main things he talked about. Through the years, he has helped me forgive many, many people who have hurt my feelings. But for some reason it never crossed my mind to forgive these people.

But God showed me that the reason I keep thinking about what the nurses said to me and what they thought of me was because I lacked forgiveness and love for them. Yes, my eyes were opened by God.

I am not a person who talks freely with strangers. Sometimes I get angry at myself for not explaining myself better. Like when nurses would call from the hospital for information on my mother, I realized later I had left out a lot of details. I know this happens because my brain freezes when people talk with me. Especially people with authority.

After talking with me about Mom’s heart and back, one nurse asked me what I gave her for pain. I said, two Tylenol. When I hung up, I thought, “Was she asking about the heart pain or the back pain. Two Tylenol wasn’t enough for the back pain. I used to give her Codeine for that.

One nurse called and asked if my mom was sleeping much. I said, “No, the last week she was only sleeping 2-3 hrs. at a time.” Later in the conversation he said, “Well, shall I write down 4-6 hours?” I knew that was wrong but said, “Okay.” I have no idea why I said that. Maybe just to please him.

So, about forgiveness. I talked with God about it and said, “Okay. I forgive them. I pray you will put that in my mind and heart. I pray I will love them as you do.”

I think it was pride that kept me from forgiving at the outset. I felt shamed by these nurses, even though I knew I was doing a good job looking after my mom. And I still I feel shame for that and the fact they didn’t like me and thought I was awful for not taking Mom home.

Whether the shame will go away or not, I don’t care. I’ve lived with shame since I was a little child. I just want to do what Jesus told everyone to do. Love and forgive.

Helpful Quotations.

I’ve read some things lately that have touched my heart and I thought I would share them:

“Running from suffering makes one suffer more and more, from even the small things, until you hate your own life.”  

From The Seven Story Mountain, by Thomas Merton.

I found this to be true in my own life. I kept running from my inner pain and the more I ran, the worse I got. I did come to hate my own life, because it was a life of misery of pain in my past and pain in the now and thinking there would only be pain in the future. This attitude makes you open to death and suicide. You know there will always be bad things happening in the future and feel helpless and hopeless.

Tauren Wells sings about this in his song, Until Grace. I too thought my life was cursed:

I knew I was broken but there was no one that I could tell,
Praying felt like I was throwing pennies in a wishing well
And I started believing I was cursed to carry this weight
I was listing the reasons of why I should walk away

[Chorus: Tauren Wells & Rascal Flatts]
Until grace called my name
Oh, I didn't know I could be free
Until grace found me

Until grace broke these chains
Oh, I didn't know I could be free
Until grace found, Your grace found me.

God has taught me through other Christians that I must live one day at a time, so when I start thinking about sad events I go to him and tell him how I feel. He always helps and comforts me.

Another quote I found meaningful is this:

“In our culture, ‘Love’ is soft. In God’s kingdom, love is a battle cry.”

I wish I could tell you where I heard this, but I forgot to write that down.

To love our enemies, to love those who make fun of us or hurt us is a battle. A spiritual battle. It goes against our culture and our human nature, which is about protecting ourselves. Certainly, we don’t have to hang around people who are physically or verbally abusive, but we do have to forgive and love them. God’s love, not human love. His love is higher than ours.

The last quote is another one where I don’t remember where I found it; I will try to do better at that.

“I am not a solid rock, but I am standing on one.”

I love the imagery of that and it is true I am not a solid rock. I’m like the sand or bending reeds in the wind. But I need not be afraid because I am standing before God on Jesus the rock. The one who made the universe and loves me.

 

My Mother's Illness and Death: The Unkindness of the Medical Establishment. (To be blunt, people.)

My Mom.

I was listening to a podcast last night and a lady was being interviewed who had a child who had been born very small with some defects. She said a nurse said to her something like, “Been eating wrong foods?”

As if the mother wasn’t devastated already by her child’s illness, which turned out to be a medical condition having nothing to do with the mother. It brought back to me all the disheartening things nurses said to me during the years I looked after my mother.

My mother passed away on June 29^th. She was almost 93 and died of congestive heart failure. She had been ill for a long time. She was misdiagnosed a few times, but I don’t expect perfection from doctors. I know they are doing the best work they can. I asked the doctor a year ago if my mom might have congestive heart failure, but she said no, it was acid reflux.

The true diagnosis wouldn’t have made much difference anyway. And I’ve very glad she didn’t die of colon cancer which emergency doctors were 99% sure she had. They didn’t want to take a biopsy as it is a painful procedure and my mom was in her nineties. So, I lived with that scare for a long time. Altogether, my mom lived with us for five years and I’m so happy we had that time together.

But there were two things about my mother’s illnesses and hospital stays that made our journey much harder. The worst was that because of Covid-19 I wasn’t allowed in the hospital to visit her. They said I could come at the end, but it was too late when it happened. They told us a nurse was with her and I am grateful to that nurse.

Mom’s last day at home was a hard one. I just couldn’t get her breathlessness under control with her nitro sprays and she hadn’t been sleeping longer than 2-4 hours. My husband was working from home because of the virus so he was taking care of her in the day and I stayed up all night. But he would be going back to work the next week and I felt I just wasn’t competent enough to keep Mom comfortable any longer. We called an ambulance and they took her.

The emergency people called me and said I could pick Mom up in the morning and I said, “No.” Believe me, they were very upset, but I know my rights and they had to take care of her if I couldn’t.

Four days after putting her in a ward, the doctors agreed I couldn’t take care of her. Well, thank you.

By the time Mom was in the hospital ward her dementia was pretty bad. They said she didn’t ask for the family, for which I am grateful. It hurt my heart to think she might be asking why I wasn’t there.

But she just asked where she was every morning and seemed content with the answer. I believe she didn’t really know who my husband and I were the last week she was home. She rarely spoke and didn’t say my name anymore. She would forget what happened in a TV show a few seconds after watching it. She forgot all the visits from relatives in the last few years. She couldn’t read anymore because she couldn’t remember what she just read.

Yet, she was happy. That may sound strange, but it is true. We just watched TV together and she said she enjoyed each show. Before she forgot who I was, she thanked me over and over for taking care of her. Mom was almost always a sunny and grateful person and knew God. I know I will see her again.

The only problems I had was when I was questioned by nurses who visited and nurses at the hospital and nursing home she had to stay in while recovering from hip surgery.

After the surgery, they thought Mom was well enough to come right home or go for physical therapy at the nursing home. Well, she looked awful and was in constant pain so I told them to take her to the nursing home and I would meet her there.

I left that evening and I thought she would be okay. I came back in the morning and she said she had to go to the bathroom. I helped her in there and waited. A nurse came in and asked where Mom was and I told her. “No one is supposed to help her to the bathroom but us,” she said. I said, “Oh, okay.”

When Mom called out, the nurse went in and asked if she went. Mom told her no, she couldn’t. The nurse put her hands on her hips and said (not nicely), “This is the third time! If you don’t go the next time, I’ll have to use a suppository on you!” She was scolding her. A 90-year-old woman who had just had surgery! I took Mom home.

We got a hospital bed and all the stuff she needed and I took care of her with my husband’s help. Then a few weeks later, I twisted my foot around one of the legs of the hospital bed, which took up almost all the space of her bedroom. I couldn’t even stand on it, so I called an ambulance to take my mother. My husband was working and I had no one to help me take care of my mom. At this time, she was only sleeping for about 20 minutes at a time and I was exhausted.

When she was taken to the hospital the admitting person was angry. She called me and said, “This hospital is for sick people!” Well, my mother was sick and I couldn’t care for her so that’s why I sent her there! They kept calling me to come pick her up but I couldn’t! I know that in Canada they had to take care of her if no one else could, they just didn’t believe anything I said. It was horrible.

Mom was in a ward for four weeks and was injured twice while there. One time a nurse gave her twice the dosage of sleeping pills. Her organs started shutting down, but she pulled through. The other time, she fell out of bed because apparently some people choke to death trying to get out between the rails on the bed. So, Mom’s head had a hole in it from hitting the edge of the dresser and blood was everywhere. It makes me wonder why the nurses criticize family members when they make mistakes too. I could have sued over both incidents, but I would never sue people who are trying to heal people, even if they make terrible mistakes. Everyone makes mistakes.

 I took Shock Wave Therapy for my foot, which healed in 4 weeks. But I still had no one to help me with mother and she wasn’t walking yet.

I came to see Mom almost every day. The nurses thought she was being lazy and hard to get along with because she didn’t want to do any exercises or have them do anything to her. She just wanted to sleep. I kept telling them she was sick, but they didn’t believe me. But they had never seen her when she was well. They didn’t know how different she looked.

 It turned out later she was sick with a bladder infection. I then asked a nurse if Mom was getting her vitamin B12 shots. She told me Mom only needed pills not the shots. I told her that was wrong and she lost her temper at me and walked away. Later her feet had bruises on them and a doctor there told me it was because of a lack of vitamin B12.

One nurse told me I needed to push my mother to exercise etc. I said she is 91 and tired; she needs rest and more sleep. The woman was so mad she turned and walked away too. This was how they treated me the whole time.

Later, Mom started to walk with a walker and was sleeping through the night, so I felt I could take care of her again. When I took her home, I let her sleep as much as she wanted. She slept 20 hours a day at first and slowly she slept less and less until she was down to 9 to 10 hours a day. She recovered, which the doctors did not expect.

The next year went very well until she started getting the signs of congestive heart failure. I was so glad I could take care of her by myself the last two years. I know I did an excellent job, no matter what the nurses said and hinted at.

When she was in the hospital for the last time a nurse called me and asked if my mother had been walking with a walker. I told her no, she had told me she couldn’t walk anymore so I had been wheeling her around the apartment in a small travel chair (it is like a small wheelchair). The nurse said, “Well, she is walking.”

Hey, I’m glad she was walking, but it didn’t really matter here at home. She said she couldn’t walk and that was good enough for me. Frankly, it is hard to get over the unkindness of the nurses I dealt with. I’m sure there are also good and kind nurses somewhere.

I hope my experience was unusual, but I also wish there were classes given to medical workers on how to talk with families of patients.