“Running
from suffering makes one suffer more and more, from even the small things,
until you hate your own life.”
From The
Seven Story Mountain, by Thomas Merton.
I found this
to be true in my own life. I kept running from my inner pain and the more I
ran, the worse I got. I did come to hate my own life, because it was a life of
misery of pain in my past and pain in the now and thinking there would only be
pain in the future. This attitude makes you open to death and suicide. You know
there will always be bad things happening in the future and feel helpless and
hopeless.
Tauren Wells
sings about this in his song, Until Grace. I too thought my life was
cursed:
I knew I was broken but
there was no one that I could tell,
Praying felt like I was throwing pennies in a wishing well
And I started believing I was cursed to carry this weight
I was listing the reasons of why I should walk away
[Chorus: Tauren Wells & Rascal Flatts]
Until grace called my name
Oh, I didn't know I could be free
Until grace found me
Until grace broke these
chains
Oh, I didn't know I could be free
Until grace found, Your grace found me.
God has taught me through other
Christians that I must live one day at a time, so when I start thinking about
sad events I go to him and tell him how I feel. He always helps and comforts
me.
Another quote I found
meaningful is this:
“In our culture,
‘Love’ is soft. In God’s kingdom, love is a battle cry.”
I wish I could tell you
where I heard this, but I forgot to write that down.
To love our enemies, to love
those who make fun of us or hurt us is a battle. A spiritual battle. It goes
against our culture and our human nature, which is about protecting ourselves.
Certainly, we don’t have to hang around people who are physically or verbally abusive,
but we do have to forgive and love them. God’s love, not human love. His love
is higher than ours.
The last quote is another
one where I don’t remember where I found it; I will try to do better at that.
“I am not a
solid rock, but I am standing on one.”
I love the imagery of that
and it is true I am not a solid rock. I’m like the sand or bending reeds in the
wind. But I need not be afraid because I am standing before God on Jesus the
rock. The one who made the universe and loves me.