The Melt-Down of a Christian.

From the end of the earth, I will call to you, when my heart is overwhelmed. Lead me to the rock that is higher than I. 

For You have been a refuge for me, A tower of strength against the enemy.

Let me dwell in Your tent forever; Let me take refuge in the shelter of Your wings. 

Psalm 61:2-4

Therefore my spirit is overwhelmed within me; My heart is appalled within me.

I remember the days of old; I meditate on all Your doings; I muse on the work of Your hands.

I stretch out my hands to You; My soul longs for You, as a parched land. 

Psalm 146:3-6

For the first time in a very long time, today I was thinking about death with longing in my heart. I looked at the sunset, and wished I never had to see another one. These are familiar thoughts for me, but because of Joyce Meyer's teachings, I haven't had them for a long time. 

My heart has been overwhelmed this week. As the Psalmist said, my heart has been appalled within me. So, I began looking up Scripture, like the two verses above. I quoted Scripture, and remembered how God had helped me through these things in the past, and I felt at peace. 

When my emotions had calmed down, I talked with God about how I never seem to get used to the fact I live in a fallen, sinful world where people die and get hurt; I'm continually shocked when I read the newspaper at how horrible this world can be. How many years do I have to live here before life doesn't shock or depress me? 

My family is going through some trials right now. I don't mind going through trials myself, (well, I do) but I loathe seeing anyone else suffering. It feels like my heart is breaking. Right now, my sweet sister-in-law of my sister Liz, has been told her cancerous tumor has shrunk, but it is still at stage 4, which is terminal. 

My niece was injured at work last week. She works for a TV show doing hair and make-up. She was loading the truck with her stuff when the driver lurched forward. Her arm was stuck and it was pulled and wrenched and she can't use it now. I hope it will heal completely, but who knows?

Yesterday, my granddaughter's kneecap was pulled sideways out of its socket. She was screaming in pain and the paramedics had to knock her out to get her into the ambulance. They gave her pain pills that put her in a delirium. She thought she was in Interstellar with Matthew Mcconaughy.  Then she came out of it, they wrapped her knee and she went home. Later she had a panic attack and had to go back to the hospital. She is scared stiff the knee will come out again. They put a splint on it. She can't move for a week. She is coming to my place for me to take care of while her boyfriend is at work.

My youngest daughter had to move to Lethbridge, Alberta from Princeton, BC in JANUARY- in CANADA!  If you live in Canada, you know what that can mean. Well, the weather was good until the last two hours when a blizzard hit. She couldn't see the sides of the road through the mountains. She was following her husband's car and she felt he was going too fast so she just broke down and sobbed and sobbed while driving until they reached Lethbridge. At least she made it, but I worry about her poor psyche.

My grandson is still trying to get off drugs and is having a terrible time. He went to rehab, left and now had decided to take a drug at a drug clinic that may help him get off his drugs. His mom has been staying with him for the last month, trying to help him cut back, get clean etc. She looks like she has been through hell - and she has. I went with her to his place when he was in rehab for a day and a night. There are cigarette burns everywhere - all over his new sofa, all over his bed and on the new carpet. I was horrified, and wondered why the place hadn't gone up in flames by now. I guess I can thank God and fire-retardant chemicals for that. His mom told me when he is doing his drug of choice he falls asleep when he is smoking.

My husband has bones rubbing together and has to have back surgery soon. I have fibromyalgia every day and I've had a horrible cold for two weeks and have had to sit up to sleep for a week. One of my daughters needs money and we have none to give her. My mom lives with us and is extremely weak and frail.

There. I could go on, but I'll spare you if you have made it down the page this far. Yes, I feel overwhelmed and my heart hurts.

Thinking of how God has helped me in the past, I remember he saw me through the death of my other grandson, he gave me strength to take care of my mother when she was much sicker than she is now, he was with me through my husband's cancer and subsequent illnesses, he has helped me with fibromyalgia.

God has led me to the rock that is higher than I - Jesus. I look at his courage and his steadfast life with his Father and I know he can help me. He was assailed from many directions but he kept his peace. I can't see Jesus running around wondering what to do. No, he wasn't like that.

Jesus did feel overwhelmed in the garden of Gethsemane. God sent an angel to strengthen him, and God does that for us today. And he himself stands beside us to give us hope and strength. The Bible says he holds us by our right hand.  

"For I am the LORD your God, who upholds your right hand, Who says to you, 'Do not fear, I will help you.'"  Isaiah 41:13

One thing God brought to my mind this morning,is to live one day at a time. I should not look ahead to wonder how well I can look after Hope or how long my sweet sister Heather will live. Jesus told us, "So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."  Matthew 6:34

Toxic Family and Christians.

Toxic people are those who belittle and demean others. They make those they are with feel bad about themselves. What does God want us to do about these people if they are in our family? Should we stop all communication or should we carry on seeing them while they treat us in a horrible manner?

In my opinion, we are not called by God to hang around with toxic people. But there is an exception to that; if someone in your family becomes ill, I think we should go help that person, no matter what they have done. I think that is part of the commandment of honoring your parents. And if we show kindness and mercy towards a sister or brother who is ill, it is a powerful witness of the love of God.

So, unless illness is involved, I would stay away from toxic people if they make you feel bad. If people in your family are toxic and it doesn't bother you, then go ahead, be with them. This is a personal decision.

Here are some Bible verses that address the issue of being around toxic people. I hope they help someone.

Jesus said, "Who are My mother and My brothers?"  Looking about at those who were sitting around Him, He said, "Behold My mother and My brothers!  "For whoever does the will of God, he is My brother and sister and mother."  Mark 3:33-35  Jesus said this when his family had come to where he was and wanted to talk with him because they had heard he was insane or full of the devil. The chapter does not say if Jesus saw them or not, it only records his answer to those who told him his family was looking for him.

"How blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked, Nor stand in the path of sinners, Nor sit in the seat of scoffers!"  Psalm 1:1

"I do not sit with the deceitful, nor do I associate with hypocrites."  Psalm 26:4

"I did not sit in the company of revelers, nor did I rejoice; I sat alone, because your hand was upon me, for you had filled me with indignation."  Jeremiah 15:17

"But He (Jesus) answered and said, "Every plant which My heavenly Father did not plant shall be uprooted. Let them alone; they are blind guides of the blind. And if a blind man guides a blind man, both will fall into a pit."   Matthew 15:14

"I appeal to you, brothers, to watch out for those who cause divisions and create obstacles contrary to the doctrine that you have been taught; avoid them."   Romans 16:17

Are You A Fanatical Christian?

Wingchi Poon

Fanatical: filled with excessive and single-minded zeal. Extreme, radical.

If your family or others have ever told you you are a religious fanatic and taking it too far, you are in good company. That is what they said about Jesus. In fact, they said worse things than that. They said he was either insane or demon possessed.

When you think of this, it is amazing that when people saw God on earth they thought he might be insane or the devil himself. 

Jesus said many times, "He who has ears to hear; let him hear."  In other words, not all people can hear the voice of God and respond positively to it. But there are some who have the ears to hear correctly. We should pray for God to open our ears, eyes and heart to understand his words.

Then Jesus entered a house, and again a crowd gathered, so that he and his disciples were not even able to eat. When his family heard about this, they went to take charge of him, for they said, “He is out of his mind.”

And the teachers of the law who came down from Jerusalem said, “He is possessed by ! By Satan, prince of demons he is driving out demons.”    Mark 3:20-22

Then Jesus’ mother and brothers arrived. Standing outside, they sent someone in to call him. A crowd was sitting around him, and they told him, “Your mother and brothers are outside looking for you.”    Mark 3:31,32

So, Jesus was in a house and it was full of people. It was so crowded that there was no time or room to stop for lunch and dinner. Many were there who begged to be healed; many just wanted to listen to his words; many were there to find something against him.

Someone must have told his mother and brothers what Jesus was doing. How he was breaking the Sabbath and preaching new and radical ideas. Perhaps they were told the rulers of the church were already plotting to kill him. They became upset and worried, so they all went to that city and house to force Jesus to come home. He would be safe at home. They could hide him away in the house if he had gone crazy.  Mary must have felt afraid for Jesus.

As far as we know, Jesus refused to see his family, he said his true family was his disciples and followers. “Here are my mother and my brothers! Whoever does God’s will is my brother and sister and mother.”

God's Help in Time of Need.

I wrote earlier about my mother and husband. My husband had a growth on his back that looked like melanoma. He already has carcinoid syndrome and tumors, so we were praying this would not be another cancer, and it isn't! We are very thankful and happy about that.

My mother was starting to lose her short-term memory and I finally talked her into moving in with my husband and myself. She is here now, and I'm very glad. She had been forgetting to take her medication and had gotten weak and sick. Now, I make sure she takes everything. She is too weak to cook, so I'm cooking for her.

I am thankful that God has given me  the strength to do this. I have fibromyalgia and feel tired all the time. But as I pray for strength, God has supplied it. I'm so happy Mom is here.

We had a lovely Christmas because all the family was together. Two wonderful things has happened in our family; my nephew, Ian, has come to God and so has my grandson, Jordan. I thank the Lord he has been working on their hearts and given them the desire to know him.

We wait in hope for the Lord;

he is our help and our shield.

In him our hearts rejoice,

for we trust in his holy name.

May your unfailing love be with us, Lord,

even as we put our hope in you.   

Psalm 33:20-22

God Needs Relationships.

Three of my granddaughters.

Who am I?

Someone who needs relationships.

I remember the first year our children had grown up and left home. My husband had always wanted us to take a vacation alone - just the two of us - so we did.

We took off for California and it was nice at first. At one point, when we were driving down the highway, I said,
"Listen, do you hear that?"
"What?" He said.
Silence.
"That's the sound of no fighting or whining from the back seat." I answered.

After a few days I really missed the kids and felt sad; but I was determined not to say anything to my husband. He had wanted this for so long.

One day, as we were enjoying the sights he said, "I wish the girls were here." I was surprised, and also happy I could share my thoughts with him. I told him how much I missed them too.

Now, I am 65. I rarely see my daughters and grandchildren. They have moved and are living their own lives and that is good. We lived with one of my daughters and her family for 10 years so she could work and I looked after her youngest daughter. My husband and I have lived alone now for a few years.

I was very lonely when we first moved out. My husband has his own interests and all my life was wrapped up in the family. I got very depressed. Well, after some therapy and pills I am doing better, but I did have a real break-through recently. I said to God, "I guess it's just you and me." And I made the effort to go through the day praying more; talking with him more; and all I can say is, "God alone is enough."



Who is God?

A being who needs realtionships to be happy and complete. (I'm guessing?)

Today I heard a sermon on how God created us for relationships. Life feels incomplete when we are alone. It is so wonderful to share life with people you love. Everything is better when you share it, whether good or bad.

We are made in the image of God. I suppose he is also incomplete  without relationships. God is three in one. He is never alone, and I guess he has never been alone. He said it wasn't good for Adam to be alone, even though God came to the garden to visit every day.

One time, I was reading a passage in the Bible about how there will be so many people in heaven you couldn't count them. I actually got anxious imagining these crowds of people milling around. It made me laugh because I know that won't bother me then.

I've always felt anxious around people and I'm looking forward to the day that anxiety is gone. I'm looking forward to being completely  relaxed about relationships and life in general.