Do You Feel Like Giving Up?

Who am I?

Yesterday, I saw a question online. It asked, "When did you give up?"

I thought about that. I remember giving up wanting a husband after my divorce. It was when I gave up and left it to God that he brought me my new husband. I remember giving up on trying to give advice to my adult daughters. I had to let them go and trust their lives to God. I remember giving up worrying about the environment when 9/11 happened. I knew then we would blow each other up and went out and bought some paper towels. (I know, I know, I'm stupid sometimes.)

I remember giving up on myself, that I could do anything to save myself. God did the saving on the cross. I just had to trust in him and get to know him as a father, brother and friend. 

I remember giving up on life and taking sleeping pills. That happened last year. I guess I gave up on God too at the time.

I was so lonely; achingly lonely; my heart was in so much pain. But God has shown me, through therapy and the Bible, that he is enough for me; that I need no one but Him. He is enough. He can fill my heart and end my loneliness by being beside me all day and night. I just have to ask and believe, and I do. There is a song Don Moen sings called, "God Will Make A Way." It is true, no matter what is going on in your life, God will make a way to happiness and peace.

All this came into my mind this morning after reading this verse:

"I would have lost heart, if I had not believed I would see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living."  Psalm 27:13

Who Is God?

Someone who dispenses hope like candy. He is, "The God of all hope..."

"May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit."   Romans 15:13

God Needs Relationships.

Three of my granddaughters.

Who am I?

Someone who needs relationships.

I remember the first year our children had grown up and left home. My husband had always wanted us to take a vacation alone - just the two of us - so we did.

We took off for California and it was nice at first. At one point, when we were driving down the highway, I said,
"Listen, do you hear that?"
"What?" He said.
Silence.
"That's the sound of no fighting or whining from the back seat." I answered.

After a few days I really missed the kids and felt sad; but I was determined not to say anything to my husband. He had wanted this for so long.

One day, as we were enjoying the sights he said, "I wish the girls were here." I was surprised, and also happy I could share my thoughts with him. I told him how much I missed them too.

Now, I am 65. I rarely see my daughters and grandchildren. They have moved and are living their own lives and that is good. We lived with one of my daughters and her family for 10 years so she could work and I looked after her youngest daughter. My husband and I have lived alone now for a few years.

I was very lonely when we first moved out. My husband has his own interests and all my life was wrapped up in the family. I got very depressed. Well, after some therapy and pills I am doing better, but I did have a real break-through recently. I said to God, "I guess it's just you and me." And I made the effort to go through the day praying more; talking with him more; and all I can say is, "God alone is enough."



Who is God?

A being who needs realtionships to be happy and complete. (I'm guessing?)

Today I heard a sermon on how God created us for relationships. Life feels incomplete when we are alone. It is so wonderful to share life with people you love. Everything is better when you share it, whether good or bad.

We are made in the image of God. I suppose he is also incomplete  without relationships. God is three in one. He is never alone, and I guess he has never been alone. He said it wasn't good for Adam to be alone, even though God came to the garden to visit every day.

One time, I was reading a passage in the Bible about how there will be so many people in heaven you couldn't count them. I actually got anxious imagining these crowds of people milling around. It made me laugh because I know that won't bother me then.

I've always felt anxious around people and I'm looking forward to the day that anxiety is gone. I'm looking forward to being completely  relaxed about relationships and life in general.