Love, Marriage and Words.

Hubby and I on our wedding day.

I was posting earlier about the words I speak and also about not getting irritated. The Lord is truly working because today, when I was irritated with my husband I was immediately impressed to tell him he was right that I had no reason to feel that way. He was trying to show me how to empty the water out of a can of sliced mushrooms. I just wanted to do it my own way and he wouldn't give me the can. He is a methodical, practical person who thinks everything should be done in a certain way. I am a fly-by-night person who wings it a lot to save time; I do something one way and then maybe next time I'll do it another way. We both drive each other crazy.

Anyway, I rejoice in how God is helping me to quickly see my errors. I suppose this is why it is important to talk with God about our faults, but also not worry about them. He will fix things. It is fun to watch him work on my stubborn heart.

I remember many years ago, I was going for walks each day. My husband was on vacation and asked to come along. I was happy for the company. We stopped at the end of the driveway and he asked, "Where are we going? What's the route you take?"  I told him, "I never plan a route; I just start walking."

He couldn't live with that. It was too much for him, so he said, "Let's plan a route." I was irritated, but I could see we would be going nowhere if I didn't go along. We planned a route.

God has shown me why my husband doesn't like spontaneity. His childhood was chaotic; he never knew when his father would beat him. He would sometimes be woken out of sleep to be beaten. One time he was brushing his teeth and his father smashed his head into the sink. So, my husband needs all things planned. No surprises.

This is where understanding and compassion comes into play in a marriage. We may not understand our spouse; we may think they are crazy, but there are always, always reasons for what we do and how we look at life. Planning things is not a big enough deal to fight about. Of course, if your husband treats you like crap, that is worth dealing with. It must be dealt with but in a loving way.

My husband has to put up with my craziness too. I look on the dark side of life; every time my daughter drives all the way to Kelowna to visit, I picture her in a big car crash. I read the news and figure the world is falling apart. My husband? A total optimist. Naturally. We call him, "Walmart is always open." because if he wants it to be open, it is. (He told my daughter it was open til 10:00 pm and it wasn't.)

I want to be a blessing to my husband. I want to always be kind, loving and understanding. I want to always speak with good words, words of encouragement and love. I can see God is helping me do that and it makes me so happy.

If You Can't Say Something Nice...

My last post ended with me deciding to have a talk with my husband about our marriage. We did have that talk and everything has been good since then. We both apologized and listened to each other's explanations; I'm glad we worked things out.

This morning, I was thinking about some sermons I had heard by Joyce Meyer on the words we use and how we speak. I realized how important words are; I realized I am not careful enough with my words. I am quick to speak and slow to hear - the exact opposite of, "Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry."  
James 1:19

I'm like Nathaniel, who when he heard about Jesus said, “Can anything good come out of Nazareth?”  (John 1:46) Negative, thoughtless words - that's me.

But even though those were his first thoughts, Nathaniel did go see Jesus and after speaking with him said, “Rabbi, you are the Son of God! You are the King of Israel!”  John 1:49

When we talk with others, our words should be uplifting, positive and loving. Paul said, "Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person."  Colossians 4:6

Jesus said, "A good person produces good things from the treasury of a good heart, and an evil person produces evil things from the treasury of an evil heart. What you say flows from what is in your heart."   Luke 6:45

So, I have some work to do about my mouth and what it speaks. I cannot change myself, because as Jesus said, "Without me, you can do nothing."  John 15:5  But I can give my heart and my mouth to Jesus and ask him to fill them with good things and to not speak so fast, but to listen and think first. This may take Jesus a long time to do in me since I'm a slow learner - but I know he is patient with me and with everyone.

"The tongue can bring death or life; those who love to talk will reap the consequences." 
 Proverbs 18:21