A Perfect Day.

My granddaughter, Hope.

A wonderful thing happened. I couldn't sleep one night, for various reasons, and I was still awake at 9:00am. Usually, when this happens I get in a panic. I think, "Oh no. I'm going to feel horrible until I fall asleep. This is wrecking my schedule. What am I going to do?"

Then I remembered the verse, "Don't worry about anything." This verse has been helping me in my life more and more. I said to God, "Well, you said, "anything," so that means everything. I will not worry about getting enough sleep."

I had the best day! The best day I've had for years! This not worrying business is fantastic!

Not only did I feel like I'd slept all night, I felt even better than that. My fibromyalgia didn't bother me; I had lots of energy and felt full of joy. I cooked, looked after my mother and had time to do some woodwork. A miracle.

Joyce Meyer helped me in this area also. She says, "Believe God is working." Believe. I always had trouble with that because I didn't know how to believe or what to believe. I knew I couldn't do it by trying hard. But Joyce made it so simple. Don't believe you know what God is going to do; just believe he is working in your best interests. That I can do, and it leads to peace.

Good Day/Bad Day

Last night, as I lay in bed, I said to God, "Thanks for such a great day." Then I stopped. It hadn't actually been a great day as far as events in my life. Some truly negative things were going on in my family and that day had been especially stressful. But as the day wound down, I didn't feel the stress in my heart like I used to. I didn't feel like crying. What a difference! All because I finally understand God loves me just as I am and I love him, so every day is wonderful because it is a day with him.

I have this thing called Joy in my heart now. I used to read about it and want it but I never found it until recently. I couldn't understand how anyone could feel joyful in this horrible world or joyful when they, or someone they loved, were suffering. I finally know. It only took me 45 years! Lol  Well, I had a lot to get over and a lot to learn.

It feels weird not to be worried about family members who are sick. I almost feel like that is betraying them. How dare I have a good day when they are suffering! How dare I have a moment's happiness when they are sad! I actually feel guilty. But, as Joyce Meyers says, we cannot let our feelings rule us. We must live by the word of God and what is right and wrong. It is wrong to worry and I ain't gonna do it any more.

Peace. That's what you get when you don't worry. I used to want that too and now I have it. Peace with God. Resting in his love. It is so wonderful.

This isn't to say I won't ever cry again or feel awful, no, but it won't be my default button any more.

I Felt Humiliated.

My 89 yr.old mom is living with us. We love having her here. She has always gotten a daily newspaper since she was married. The paper started coming here, but this is an apartment building and they leave the paper outside the main door. Sometimes it gets stolen.

This morning, when I first woke up, I threw my coat on over my pajamas and went down the elevator to get the paper. I had forgotten my keys so I tried to hold the door open while picking up the paper. Couldn't do it. A young man came running up and held the door for me. I thanked him, then tried to pick up the paper. I kept dropping it. Because of my fibromyalgia it is hard to bend down at all. I kept saying I was sorry (I am Canadian) and told him about the fibromyalgia. He graciously picked up the paper for me and said comforting words.

Back in my bedroom, I sat on the bed feeling embarrassed and a little humiliated. Then I heard God's voice in my heart, "Pray for him."  I did so immediately. I realized then that the reason that all happened is this young man needed someone to pray for him. I felt so happy I could do this for him and for God.

I thought of the verse, "Humble yourself under the mighty hand of God..."  I think maybe God can use us better when we are humbled. I just finished reading a book by a woman who was an A-type personality. She felt she had to control everything and the longer she went on that way, the less she could control, her life became a mess and was too much for her.

This woman had a mental breakdown and was humbled by it. She realized she hadn't let go of all the many parts of her life and given them to God for him to control. If we insist on doing it ourself, God will let us. But if we give our life, everyone we love, everything we do and everything we have, to our Father, he can then control it. If we obsess, worry and fret, he may wait until we give up on ourselves.