Suicide - How Does God See It?

Fragile Emotion

Photo by: Don http://www.flickr.com/people/97224989@N00

My beloved nephew, Ian, killed himself a month ago. He was 45 years old. He had paranoid schizophrenia.

I remember reading some religions believe suicide is a sin. Even a sin God can't forgive. I don't believe that. I've been suicidal myself; I have a mental illness because of my abusive father. Elijah wanted to die, so did Jeremiah and Job. God didn't tell any of them they sinned in that wish.

Ian quit taking his medication, which a lot of people with schizophrenia do. He kept refusing to take it until he was having delusions every day. I won't go into detail about his illness, what I wanted to share about him was his journey to God.

About a year or more ago, Ian started getting interested in spiritual things. He wanted to find the "true" religion. He studied Buddhism, Islam and Christianity. He used to call me and we would talk about these religions. He asked me why I thought Christianity was the true religion and I told him. Then he started asking me about the different Christian religions. I told him of some of the different beliefs that were out there. He asked me about the church I grew up in, which is the Seventh-Day-Adventist Church.

I explained our beliefs to him. So, he went and visited some churches in his community in Washington, State. I asked which one he liked best, and he did say the Adventist church. He asked about why we worship on Saturday instead of Sunday, and I told him all the reasons.

When my mother broke her hip and was in the hospital, Ian came to see her and stayed with us. He came twice. We talked some more about God, and why I believed he was the true God. All the rest of the time he talked with me it was about his delusions of being followed and how he was putting us in danger just by visiting us. He thought the government was after him, but I never did understand why he thought that. He talked about conspiracies, but I don't know what kind. He thought he had special powers.

The only time he talked sanely was when he talked about God. The last day he was here, he said he had made up his mind and believed in God and Jesus and also would not work on Sabbath again. I was very happy for him. As he drove away for the last time, I said to God, "Oh Lord, what are you going to do for him?"

He killed himself a few days later. I think God stepped back and let it happen. Ian had turned to God, given himself to him and that was what God was waiting for. Ian will now have the peace he longed for when Jesus returns. We will see him and hug him again, and he will be all well. I'm so looking forward to that day. I'll see my brother, grandson, Ian, my grandmothers and who knows who else? And of course I will get to see Jesus and the face of my father God. Oh yes, I am excited about that day.

Who is God in His Core Being?

I was listening to a sermon the other day and the preacher asked, “Who do you think God is at his core being?”  Coming from a legalistic church, my first thought was, “Righteous.”  I asked my sister what she thought and she said, “Love, because the Bible says God is love.”  I said, “Well you are closer to what he said than me. He said, “God is family.”

God is family. That threw me at first. But then he went on to prove it from the Bible and I could see it and I felt really happy about that. God is about relationships through family. How nice. How truly lovely. I’ve always wanted deep, close relationships with each member of my family.

The preacher said that when God came here to create a new world, he created the man differently than anything else. The animals and inanimate objects, he spoke and they came into being. But with the man, he shaped him out of clay and then leaned down and breathed into his mouth the breath of life. It is a moving picture of love.

Then God made Eve; he did not speak her into existence, he took a part of Adam and shaped that part into Eve. Adam said, “This is flesh of my flesh and bone of my bones.” The Bible says they were now one. God then told them to have children, make a bigger family. Those children would come out of their flesh also, and you can’t get much closer than that!

All through the Old Testament, God called his people his children or sons.

 “…for I am a father to Israel, and Ephraim is my firstborn.”  Jeremiah 3:19

“You are the sons of the LORD your God. You shall not cut yourselves or make any baldness on your foreheads for the dead.  Deuteronomy 14:1

“Hear, O heavens, and give ear, O earth; for the LORD has spoken: “Children have I reared and brought up, but they have rebelled against me.”  Isaiah 1:2

As always, the New Testament agrees with the Old. The first miracle Jesus performed was at a wedding. All his family and friends were there. His presence shows us the importance of a new family being made.

Here are some verses from the New Testament on us being the chidren of God:

 “See what kind of love the Father has given to us, that we should be called children of God; and so we are. The reason why the world does not know us is that it did not know him.”  1 John 3:1

“The Spirit himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God,and if children, then heirs—heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ, provided we suffer with him in order that we may also be glorified with him. Romans 8:17,18

 “But to all who did receive him, who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God, who were born, not of blood, nor of the will of the flesh, nor of the will of man, but of God.”  John 1:13

The Angels are also the sons of God.

“For they cannot die anymore, because they are equal to angels and are sons of God, being sons of the resurrection.”  Luke 20:36

"Son of Man."

Jesus called himself the, “Son of Man,” more than any other title or name. That name shows how he considers himself one of us, and not just when he was here, but for eternity. He calls us his brothers and sisters. He is part of our family and we are part of his. The Father and the Holy Spirit are one with us and Jesus is one with them. John 17

I love the last words Jesus said to us, in the book of Revelation:

“The Spirit and the Bride say, ‘Come.’ And let the one who hears say, ‘Come.’ And let the one who is thirsty come; let the one who desires take the water of life without price. Yes, I am coming soon.”

Let us all be drawn to Jesus and go to the marriage supper of the Lamb.

And the angel said to me, “Write this: Blessed are those who are invited to the marriage supper of the Lamb.” And he said to me, “These are the true words of God.”   Revelation 19:9

Under the Shadow of His Wings.

Photo by Michael Gordon
 http://www.panoramio.com/user/1085785?with_photo_id=6543519

"Like an eagle that stirs up its nest, that hovers over its young, God spread His wings and caught them, He carried them on His pinions.  Deuteronomy 32:11

This verse is speaking of how God led the children of Israel, but we can take it for ourselves. He will carry us on his wings if we ask him. He does this through our prayers when we tell him how heavy our burden feels. When we tell him how much we need him. He lifts us up, he holds our hand, he leads us beside still waters.

Pulpit Commentary

 "I once saw a very interesting sight above one of the crags of Ben Nevis, as I was going in pursuit of black game. Two parent eagles were teaching their offspring, two young birds, the maneuvers of flight. They began by rising from the top of a mountain, in the eye of the sun; - it was about midday, and bright for this climate. They at first made small circles, and the young imitated them; they paused on their wings, waiting till they had made their first flight, holding them on their expanded wings when they appeared exhausted, and then took a second and larger gyration, always rising towards the sun, and enlarging their circle of flight, so as to make a gradually ascending spiral."

I love the image of God being a bird who cares for us as the birds care for their young. There are so many references to this in the Bible. Jesus compared himself to a hen who calls her little ones to her.  

Photo by: Ks mini - https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/User:Ks.mini

"O Jerusalem, Jerusalem, who kills the prophets and stones those sent to her! How often I have longed to gather your children together as a hen gathers her chicks under her wings, but you were unwilling."  Luke 13:34

I once saw an amazing thing. I had walked to a pond near my house. It was close to sunset. A mother and father mallard duck were with their little ones in the middle of the pond. 

The mother quacked and started for the reeds. All the ducklings followed but one. One stayed back. The mother noticed, and after she had taken all the others to the shore, she went back and quacked some more. 

That duckling refused to follow her. So she leaped upward and landed on top of the duckling over and over pushing him under the water. She finally stopped; she turned towards home and the duckling meekly followed. Like most of us, he learned his lesson the hard way.

The mother mallard could have left that one duckling to go on its rebellious way, but she didn’t. She knew if she did, he would die. Like the shepherd in another story, she left her other babes at home and turned to seek and save her one disobedient duckling.

Here are some verses on finding shelter under God's wings:

 “How precious is Your loving kindness, O God! And the children of men take refuge in the shadow of Your wings.”   Psam 36:7

“For You have been my help, And in the shadow of Your wings I sing for joy.”  Psalm 63:7

“Keep me as the apple of the eye; Hide me in the shadow of Your wings.”   Psalm 17:8

“Be merciful to me, O God, be merciful to me, for in you my soul takes refuge; in the shadow of your wings I will take refuge, till the storms of destruction pass by.”   Psalm 57:1

“He will cover you with His pinions, And under His wings you may seek refuge; His faithfulness is a shield and bulwark.”  Psalm 91:4

Craft Night.

My oldest daughter came over Wednesday night to work on some crafts. There was no discomfort between us because of what happened in my previous post. 

One thing about my family is that we forgive and don’t usually hold grudges. My two daughters have a close relationship that has weathered quit a few arguments. They always forgive each other, no matter what they fought about. I’m so happy for this.

Anyway, this is what my daughter finished making on Wednesday:

I love it.

Someone asked my granddaughter, Hope, who her best friend was. “Faith,” she said.  Faith is her sister. I was so moved by that.

I feel very close to my own sister, Liz.  I can tell her anything and she understands. When you are a crazy, negative person it means a lot to be understood.  She is also crazy and negative so we get each other.  

Both my sister and I are becoming more positive. We are slowly learning to let go of the past and see  the positive in the here and now. We both used to look at life as being the mole in a Wack-A-Mole game. Something awful was always beating us down.

I actually used to picture God hitting me with a baseball bat every time I tried to get up. Well, of course I was wrong. God isn’t like that. I've learned he is here waiting to lift us up when we get knocked down. And if we go to him right away, we don’t even get knocked down for long; we are just hurt for a moment and after we talk with him about what happened we feel better and are stronger.

"Keep me as the apple of your eye; hide me in the shadow of your wings..."  Psalm 17:8

How precious is Your loving kindness, O God! And the children of men take refuge in the shadow of Your wings.   Psalm 36:7

You will make known to me the path of life; In Your presence is fullness of joy; In Your right hand there are pleasures forever.   Psalm 16:11

You have put gladness in my heart, More than when their grain and new wine abound.  Psalm 4:7

Are You Thirsty?

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Mineral water spring in Nuskova.

https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/User:ModriDirkac

When Jesus talked with the woman at the well in Samaria, he likened himself to a spring of water: "Whoever drinks of the water that I will give him will never be thirsty again. The water that I will give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life.”  John 4:14

Thirsty. What are we thirsty for? For love, fun, romance, money, children, happiness, peace? I think we all are at one time in our lives

Have I been thirsty for the things of this world after giving myself to Jesus? Not at first, and not for 5 years. Then my first marriage broke up. I was lonely, very lonely and raising my two daughters. I was thirsty for love and companionship. I let this rule me for a very long time.

I remarried, but my new marriage was not what I hoped it would be. There was lots of fighting, mostly about how to raise the children. He was too strict in my eyes and I was too lenient in his eyes. This almost broke us up.

So, I was lonely again, even though I was married. I didn't feel loved and I thirsted for love. I didn't look at other men, but I longed for a man to truly love me. Eventually, God showed me that the desire I had for love from humans, men, children and grandchildren, was an idol. In fact, he showed me I loved my children more than I loved him. I didn't know that - but that day I saw it as plain as day.

I knew that I needed to turn from human love to his love. His love needed to be enough for me. I spent much more time praying, reading Christian books and the Bible. I found that Jesus' love is more than enough; it really is, "like a spring of water welling up to eternal life"

Like Joyce Meyer says, I was a Christian through all of this, but I was a sad Christian. Joyce says she was a Mad Christian. Lol  God was with me all through the years, blessing and helping me. We had a good relationship, but not the best we could have. Our relationship is much stronger now and I thirst for nothing but him. (As far as I know!)

"How precious is your steadfast love, O God! The children of mankind take refuge in the shadow of your wings.
They drink their fill of the abundance of Your house; And You give them to drink of the river of Your delights.
For with You is the fountain of life; In Your light we see light."  Psalm 36:7-9

An Apple Tree and A Lily.

Photo by:  Sarah Stierch Sarah Stierch (CC BY 4.0)

https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Marker-Miller_Orchards_B.jpg

The Song of Solomon is a song of being in love. The man in the story represents God or Jesus. The woman represents those who believe in him. I think the main idea is that we should fall in love with Jesus, that we should be infatuated with him so that he is constantly in our thoughts.

The woman in love says, "Like an apple tree among the trees of the forest, So is my beloved among the young men. In his shade I took great delight and sat down, And his fruit was sweet to my taste."   

I've walked through many forests in Canada. If I had ever seen an apple tree, covered in apples, in the midst of a forest, I would have gasped. I would have felt happy and excited; I would have run up to it, picked an apple and sat down under its branches to eat, just like this woman says.

Trees of the forest are wild things. If you needed to eat in the forest you would have to know your mushrooms, roots and bugs. There isn't much edible there. These are not trees that give nourishment to humans. 

But an apple tree? It is different than all the other trees in the forest. Just as Jesus is different than all the men in the world. He nourishes us and his fruit (love, joy, peace, gentleness, kindness) is sweet to our taste. 

What does Jesus say we are like?  "Like a lily among the thorns, So is my darling among the maidens."   Solomon 2:2

He sees us as a beautiful lily that is surrounded by thorns. I found this so interesting. Those who love God, or are wanting to love him, are in a world of strife, sin and chaos. We can be hurt by the thorns of those who don't know God. We are in a precarious state, but as Jesus said, "In the world you have tribulation, but take courage; I have overcome the world."   John 16:33

An apple tree in a forest and a lily among thorns are things that stand out. They are beautiful; they are different; they are our God and they are us.

Love that Sacrifices.

“Love is when the other person’s happiness is more important than your own”
– H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

"Surely our griefs He Himself bore, And our sorrows He carried; Yet we ourselves esteemed Him stricken, Smitten of God, and afflicted. But He was pierced through for our transgressions, He was crushed for our iniquities; The chastening for our well-being fell upon Him, And by His scourging we are healed. All of us like sheep have gone astray, Each of us has turned to his own way; But the LORD has caused the iniquity of us all To fall on Him."  Isaiah 53:6

Every good parent loves their children more than themselves. I remember the day my daughter, Sandy, was born. I held her in my arms and was overwhelmed by a feeling of love and responsibility. I realized I could not just live for myself any longer.

Sandy was so little, vulnerable and innocent. I was not a Christian when that day began, but I became one as I looked on her face. I asked God to help me raise this tiny human. I knew I would mess it up if he didn't help me. So, it was my baby daughter who brought me to Christ. I've always told her this. 

Her, and her sister's happiness was always more important to me than mine. Sometimes when they were very sick, I would ask God to take their sickness and give it to me. He did that only once and I remember being so grateful to have the pain off of them and put on to me.

When I have sinned and feel bad about myself and guilty, I remember God feels the same love for me as I do for my children and grandchildren. No matter what they do, I love them. 

"Can a woman forget her nursing child And have no compassion on the son of her womb? Even these may forget, but I will not forget you. 
See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands; your walls are ever before me."

Isaiah 49:15,16

"...fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God." 
Hebrews 12:2

What was the "joy set before him"?  It was knowing his suffering and death would save billions of people who would come with him to heaven when he returned. It was joy because he loves people. He loves you and he loves me. He loves us more than he loves himself. 

Jesus was willing to go through terrible physical pain and humiliation. but not only that, he took sin upon himself and the Bible says, "he became sin." How that felt, we do not know, except that he sweat drops of blood and in his agony, he said to his father, "Why have you forsaken me?" 

His father had not forsaken him, for the Bible says that God was in Christ on the cross. But Jesus felt forsaken - all alone. He did not know if he would see his beloved father again. 

I remember once, my grandson told me that God couldn't love him because he had done so many bad things. I said, "Craig, God loves you even more than I do."  He knew the depth of my love for him, and I think he took to heart what I said because he began to pray to God after that.

Live in My Love.

Three of my granddaughters, taken quite a few years ago. I've never seen sisters who loved each other so much, except maybe their mother and her sister. Love is so beautiful.

My blogging friend, "Lene in Japan," at  https://songofvirginity.wordpress.com/ has asked me to take part in a challenge. I was given three quotes to write about. My last post was one quote, and today I am writing on the second quote:

“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another”.
– Jesus Christ

A young rich man ran up to Jesus after seeing him bless the little children. He seemed to be overcome with the feeling that this Jesus could help him with a problem. You see, he had been keeping all the rules and commandments of his religion, but he didn't feel saved. He felt something was missing in his relationship with God.

He knelt before Jesus and asked, " "Good Teacher, what shall I do to inherit eternal life?"

 Jesus, looking at him, loved him, and said to him, “You lack one thing: go, sell all that you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow me.” The man refused to do this and walked away feeling sad.

What I want to point out in this event is that as Jesus looked on the young man, he loved him. I believe that whenever Jesus looked on the face of a person, he loved them. As he looked on Pilate's face, when he was on trial, he loved him. He explained to Pilate about his kingdom, and then God sent a dream to Pilate's wife to warn him away from what he was about to do. Pilate was loved.

When he looked at Zaccheus, who had climbed up a tree in order to get a glimpse of Jesus, he loved him. When he looked at the woman who had committed adultery, he loved her. When he looked over at the thief on the cross, he loved him.

He loved them all, and as he looks upon us, he loves us. God is love, the Bible says. He can't help loving everyone, for that is who he is. He can't save everyone, but he loves those he cannot save. He loves Satan and his evil angels. He loves the worst person on earth. He loves the best person on earth. He is love personified. He cannot stop loving.

Love gives people freedom. The freedom to choose and the freedom to believe or not believe. God asks us to choose life. 

"I call heaven and earth to witness against you today, that I have set before you life and death, the blessing and the curse. So choose life in order that you may live, you and your descendants."

"The LORD appeared to him from afar, saying, "I have loved you with an everlasting love; Therefore I have drawn you with loving kindness."  Jeremiah 3:13

"Say to them, 'As I live!' declares the Lord GOD, 'I take no pleasure in the death of the wicked, but rather that the wicked turn from his way and live. Turn back, turn back from your evil ways! Why then will you die, O house of Israel?'"

"Just as the Father has loved Me, I have also loved you; abide in My love."  John 15:9

Virginity and Losing a Smart Phone.

My friend, Lene in Japan at  https://songofvirginity.wordpress.com/  has kindly asked me to join a challenge based on these three quotes. I'm going to begin with this one:

“We live in a world where loosing your phone is more dramatic than loosing your virginity”
– Megan Fox

Megan Fox is right in basically saying our priorities are messed up. Who you have sex with is much more important than losing your phone. I know losing a Smart Phone can be awful. All your contacts are gone along with your games and recent conversations. But who you give your body to, well, the deep, sacred meaning of that is gone in our secular society. On TV and movies, people hop out of bed with different people and there are no consequences to it.

I lost my virginity one night when I was 16. I went to a party, got drunk and passed out. I remember a boy carrying me into a bedroom, taking off my clothes and entering me. The pain was pretty bad and there was blood on the bed. He asked, "Are you a virgin?" When I said yes, he looked very upset. I guess he thought I was always going to parties and having sex.

My mindset at the time was immature. I had been longing for someone to love me; I had been aching for a boyfriend and this boy went to my high school. We laid in bed until morning, sleeping and then talking. I thought he liked me and now I had someone. Not too bright. Actually, I was just inexperienced about the world.

He never spoke to me again. I would see him in school and he would look past me. I could see he was ashamed. I was very hurt. Another rejection.

This was in the 1960s, a time when "free love" was everywhere. My girlfriends and I didn't think it was a big deal to have sex, as long as it was with a boyfriend. But it was wrong, because I ended up being hurt. He was hurt too as he didn't mean any harm to me, at least I'm pretty sure he didn't. I know what he did is at the level of "date rape" but I never saw it that way until I was in therapy.

The consequences of having sex casually is pain. Always. When we have sex, we are sharing our deepest self to that person. I know people in my family who have been "swingers." Casual sex with other couples and so on. They used to say to me, "Nobody gets hurt." I told them someone will get hurt because they will start to love someone and be rejected. They told me I was wrong.

Years later, these same people told me I had been right. People had been deeply hurt by sharing sex. There had been friendships lost and physical violence done.

One young man I know answered an ad in our local paper for sex with a girl. These ads are for casual sex. No strings attached. The first girl he called fell hard for him. He liked her, but she was pushing to move in with him. He cut her off and out of his life. I can imagine how she felt.

God made us to be one with him and one other person. This is the path to true happiness in this life. I would suppose a lot of people will never believe this because this truth comes from God. When we give our lives to God, he will lead us into all truth, the Bible says. We will see how wrong we have been and how right God is. Wonderfully, he forgives all the past and we have a brand new start. He will make us feel content with one person to love in a sexual way. And he will do much more than that if you give him a chance.

Never Feel Alone.

Photo by,Wolfgang Sauber

Thus says the LORD,

 "Let not a wise man boast of his wisdom, 
let not the mighty man boast of his might, 
let not a rich man boast of his riches; 
but let him who boasts boast of this, 
that he understands and knows Me, 
that I am the LORD who exercises loving kindness, justice and righteousness on earth; 
for I delight in these things," declares the LORD.   Jeremiah 9:24

Jesus said, "And this is eternal life, that they know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom you have sent."   John 17:3

Do you want to know God? If you have never come to him before there is a way to know him. You just ask him to help you get to know him and then read the Bible. He will reveal himself to everyone who asks.

"I will give them a heart to know Me, for I am the LORD; and they will be My people, and I will be their God, for they will return to Me with their whole heart."   Jeremiah 24:7

Years ago, a blogger, who was considering becoming a Christian, asked her followers, "Are you glad you became a Christian?"  I said, "It was the best decision I've ever made."

There is nothing like knowing you can turn to God about everything in your life. To know the Creator of the universe is interested in you and cares about your day. He cares about your children, your job, your health, your desires and thoughts. He wants to walk and talk with you, share his love and comfort. He wants to fill you with love, confidence and peace. Believing all this may take time, but it will come eventually if you don't give up seeking.

Once you understand God loves and accepts you just as you are, you never feel alone.

Surrounded by God.

Jerusalem Valley

Photo by:  http://shankbone.org/

As the mountains surround Jerusalem, so the LORD surrounds his people both now and forevermore.

Psalm 125:2

I love the image of God surrounding me. It makes me feel protected and loved. One of my favorite verses is the one just below, Psalm 3:3, because he not only surrounds me but when my head is bowed in sorrow or defeat. he lifts it up! 

But you, Lord, are a shield around me,

my glory, the One who lifts my head high.

I call out to the Lord,

and he answers me from his holy mountain.

Psalm 3:3,4

You are my hiding place; You preserve me from trouble; You surround me with songs of deliverance.

Psalm 32:7

Many are the woes of the wicked,

but the Lord’s unfailing love

surrounds the one who trusts in him.

Psalm 32:10

Surely, LORD, you bless the righteous; you surround them with your favor as with a shield.

Psalm 5:12

For the angel of the LORD is a guard; he surrounds and defends all who fear him.

Psalm 34:7

Surrounded by God.

Jerusalem Valley

Photo by:  http://shankbone.org/

As the mountains surround Jerusalem, so the LORD surrounds his people both now and forevermore.

Psalm 125:2

I love the image of God surrounding me. It makes me feel protected and loved. One of my favorite verses is the one just below, Psalm 3:3, because he not only surrounds me but when my head is bowed in sorrow or defeat. he lifts it up! 

But you, Lord, are a shield around me,

my glory, the One who lifts my head high.

I call out to the Lord,

and he answers me from his holy mountain.

Psalm 3:3,4

You are my hiding place; You preserve me from trouble; You surround me with songs of deliverance.

Psalm 32:7

Many are the woes of the wicked,

but the Lord’s unfailing love

surrounds the one who trusts in him.

Psalm 32:10

Surely, LORD, you bless the righteous; you surround them with your favor as with a shield.

Psalm 5:12

For the angel of the LORD is a guard; he surrounds and defends all who fear him.

Psalm 34:7