Wrestling with God.

 

Art by Maurice Denis.

I thought I would share something that has been very helpful in my walk with God. About 10 years ago, I was very depressed, day after day. One morning I said to God, “I’m not leaving this bed until I feel better.” So, I lay there telling God all my feelings and all the things going on in my life that made me sad. I asked for courage to face the day and for some kind of hope.

After maybe an hour, I did feel better and got up. That one lesson taught me what it meant to wrestle with God. I remembered Jacob who in the Bible, wrestled with God all night. When God said to him, “Let me go for it is morning.” Jacob said, “I won’t let you go until you bless me.”

I would have thought that a bit presumptuous, but God didn’t. He asked, “What is your name?” 

“Jacob,” he replied.

God said, “Your name will no longer be Jacob, but Israel, (Def: He struggles with God.) because you have struggled with God and with men, and have prevailed.”

I’m not a Bible scholar. I’m not altogether sure what Jacob’s struggle means except that when I told God I wouldn’t stop praying until I felt better, my circumstance felt similar to his. Jacob was trapped by his brother coming to meet him, perhaps with the intent to kill him. I was trapped by my sad feelings that would not go away.

Jesus said, “Peace I leave with you, my peace I give to you. I do not give as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.”  John 14:27

We All Die. Jesus Came Down to Die With Us.

I listen to the podcast, “Theology in the Raw,” which is hosted by Preston Sprinkle. He interviews people with questions on hot-button issues of the day. He delves deep into controversial subjects within the churches. What I like most about Preston is his willingness to hear new ideas of belief and how Christians should act towards those who are usually not accepted.

Recently, I listened to an interview he had with Christian Gonzalez, a Greek Orthodox believer who works in Youth and Young Adult Ministries. I knew nothing about the beliefs of the Greek Orthodox church, so I was interested to learn what they are.

I came away very moved by what he said was the main thrust of his faith. It is that Jesus didn’t just die for us, he died with us. In this world, we are all under the sword of death. He came to become one of us part of that was experiencing death.

This meant a lot to me because I have always believed God was responsible for me being here on this earth. I used to say to him, “If you’d have given me a choice, I would have said, ‘No thanks.’ I was pretty bitter and angry about my life and the suffering I’d gone through and the suffering I was still going through. I know this is the wrong attitude for me to have, but it is there in my heart. I give it to God and ask for peace, joy and love within. He gives it to me, but I need to ask every day or I will return to my old thinking.

Jesus dying for us was an enormous sacrifice. He didn’t die like all other people because he took the sins of the world upon him and had to pay for them with mental suffering. The Bible says he became sin for us, that he became cursed. This meant God the Father had to abandon Jesus as he died on the cross. This is why he cried out, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” He died the death of evil, sinful people. He took their place in judgement. Like someone owed a huge debt to the bank and couldn’t repay and was going to lose everything, Jesus stepped up and paid it all.

But Jesus dying with us seems different to me. Immanuel: God with us. It feels to me like kinship and understanding what we all go through. None of us here on earth asked to be born here and God is the great creator of all things. Therefore, because we suffer, he suffered as he walked the earth. He was rejected and misunderstood by most people, even by his own brothers, who thought he had lost his mind. I believe he was lonely, sad and sometimes even afraid. I say that because he asked his Father that if it was possible, he would take the cross away. Obviously, there was no other way, even for God.

After listening to the podcast, I talked with God about this and a verse from the Bible popped into my head. It was when Jesus said, “Take up your cross and follow me.” I took that to mean, each of us has a cross. What does a cross represent? I would say sorrow, suffering, pain, dying, and humiliation. Most of us go through these things in our life, if we live long enough. And when Jesus says to pick the cross up and follow him, where is he going? He is going to die and we have to do that also. In fact, Paul says, “We die daily.” And “Put to death, therefore, the components of your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires, and greed, which is idolatry.” This is a death of our sinful nature.

We can’t do that without God, who changes our hearts and makes it possible. We just have to talk with God each day, asking for his life to be in us and to make us like Jesus. This is actually a great adventure, if we look at it like that. Of course, I didn’t, I was either mad or depressed. I feel much better now. I think it’s because when my first grandson died, I felt how God helped me cope with that. I know now that he is always there for me helping me through life.

 

 

 

 

 

My grandson Died of Heroin.

 

This morning, I felt God wanted me to write about my grandson who died from heroin. It happened about two months ago I don’t remember the date. He was thirty.

Jordan was a kind person. This is what his friends said when his mother called them to tell them what had happened. He was certainly kind to me and my husband. He loved well, which is perhaps what led to his death.

Jordan had an older brother, Craig, and he followed him like a puppy dog through their childhood. They did everything together, had the same friends, and loved the same activities. But when they were in their late teens, Craig started taking cocaine.

Jordan didn’t like the way Craig was living his life. They had arguments and sometimes didn’t speak. Then one night Craig died. He had too much to drink, fell asleep on a soft sofa with his face down and suffocated. I have written about this before. It happened 10 years ago.

Jordan was devastated by Craig’s death. He told his mother that he and Craig had been fighting and his last words to Craig were unkind. He felt great guilt because of that, and as the months and years passed by, he never got over his deep sadness.

I think it was a year later he started taking different drugs to help him through the pain and ended up on heroin. Many times, he wanted to quit. His mom came to live with him for a month while he went cold turkey and that experience was horrible for both of them. Once he was off the drug he could be on our government’s plan of free daily methadone. And he did that off and on for years.

His mother did everything she could to help him, but Jordan wasn’t just depressed, he couldn’t stand to be around people. He went into a rehab facility and only stayed 2 hours. He couldn’t work and my daughter supported him the whole ten years. Food, clothing, everything. She was terrified of him living on the streets.

During this time, my daughter asked me to text Jordan every day with Bible verses and prayers which I did. He told her he really enjoyed the texts. We went through most of the Bible, which I wrote in my own words and shortened it. We were all praying for him.

About two weeks before he died, Jordan told his mom he had started praying. By that time, he was very thin, kind of agitated and sometimes not making sense. My husband said to me, “I think Jordan is going to die.” Then it happened.

What can I say about that? I can’t convey all my feelings, there are too many. I can say God has given us comfort because we asked for that. We all say, “He is out of pain now. He is with God.” That gives us comfort, because we know that we will see him and his brother again. The gut-wrenching pain of losing them is lessened when I pray. It hurts so much I want to scream, but God supports me.

Years ago, I was in a chat room with some Christians and when I told them about Craig and why I knew he was going to be in heaven, a man wrote, “This woman believes God will save addicts while they are still using!” I said, “Yes, I do.”

I know Craig was praying before he died. I know Jordan was praying before he died. They believed in God. “What must I do to be saved?” the Roman jailer asked Paul. “Believe in the Lord Jesus Christ, and you will be saved, you and your household.” It is truly that simple. And as for those who have died without praying or knowing God, I trust God to do for them what is right. He knows who is safe to bring to heaven.

When the boys were young, I babysat them for many years. I’m so grateful for that time. We became very close and they knew they could talk with me about anything. They both had attention span and learning difficulties. It wasn’t easy for me because they got bored so quickly, but I loved them dearly.

Well, they won’t be bored in heaven. Lol. I’m sure there will be a lot of fun stuff to do there. God put a sense of humor, fun and excitement within us. I picture them snowboarding again on mountains full of powder snow. I’ve always wanted to climb a mountain and I’m pretty sure I will up there. I want to learn to play the piano, harp and violin. I want to compose my own music and I want to dance, dance, dance. I know we will dance there because little children dance as soon as they hear music. They don’t have to be taught. Like all gifts from God, it is wonderful. “Every good and perfect gift comes down from the Father of the stars.” Trust me when I tell you, God is good and he loves you.

 

 

Evil Begins with One Thought.

 

I was watching a British show about Sherlock Holmes the other day and noticed that in the story a whole family was destroyed by one person with one evil thought that turned into an obsession.

The story was about three sisters who lived together. One of them got married and one of them wanted her husband. It ended in murder of one sister and the other two sisters estranged.

That day, I also listened to a podcast called, Joyce Meyer’s Talk it Out. Three of Joyce’s friends talk about a subject that affects their lives. It’s a lovely podcast.

They talked about “thoughts” and how when they were first Christians, they didn’t understand that thoughts are not always our own, but many can come from God or Satan. I had felt the same when I was first a Christian. I would have evil thoughts and was horrified by them. I wondered if I was really a Christian. But eventually I came to see that the thoughts were temptations from Satan.

I do know the Bible supports this theory. I will share some Bible verses with you.

How Satan speaks to us:

The evening meal was underway, and the devil had already put into the heart of Judas, the son of Simon Iscariot, to betray Jesus.  John 13:2

 Then Jesus was led by the Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted by the devil. After fasting forty days and forty nights, He was hungry.

The tempter came to Him and said, “If You are the Son of God, tell these stones to become bread.”

But Jesus answered, “It is written:

Man shall not live on bread alone,

but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.”

Matthew 4:1-4

“Finally, be strong in the Lord and in His mighty power. Put on the full armor of God, so that you can make your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this world’s darkness, and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.  

Therefore, take up the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you will be able to stand your ground, and having done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness arrayed, and with your feet fitted with the readiness of the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. And take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.   Ephesians 6:10-17

How God speaks to us:

And your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying, “This is the way, walk in it,” when you turn to the right or when you turn to the left.   Isaiah 30:21

 But he turned and said to Peter, “Get behind me, Satan! You are a hindrance to me. For you are not setting your mind on the things of God, but on the things of man.”  Matthew 16:23

… some of the scribes said to themselves, “This man is blaspheming!”

But Jesus knew what they were thinking and said, “Why do you think evil in your hearts?  Which is easier: to say, ‘Your sins are forgiven,’ or to say, ‘Get up and walk?’  But so that you may know that the Son of Man has authority on earth to forgive sins...” 

Then He said to the paralytic, “Get up, pick up your mat, and go home.”  And the man got up and went home.   Matthew 9:3-7

Jesus said, “And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one. “  Matthew 6:1

How we speak to ourselves:

When tempted, no one should say, “God is tempting me.” For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does He tempt anyone.  But each one is tempted when by his own evil desires, he is lured away and enticed. Then after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death.  James 1:13-15

Like the woman in the Sherlock Holmes story, she had a desire. She desired her sister’s husband.

The remedy to these temptations is easy: quote the Bible, as Jesus did, say to God and yourself, “I will not think about this anymore”, and pray for God to help you to throw that thought into the sea.

The quotes I use the most are: “You are a shield around me, my glory and the lifter of my head.”  “May everything that breathes, praise the Lord.” “The Lord is a strong tower I run to and am safe.” “The Lord is the strength of my life and my portion forever.”

Evil thoughts don’t hang around when the Lord is praised.

The Outcast. Homelessness and Mental Illness.

 

I have a sister who lives at a campground. Some of the sites are for permanent residents and the rest are for campers. She lives in a motorhome. After living there for awhile, she found out a man lived on the property who did odd jobs for the owner of the camp and its residents.

She asked this man if he would clean off the roof and do other tasks for her. She got to know him and realized he wasn’t quite normal. She found out he used to be an executive at a large corporation, but his young wife had died of cancer and he had a nervous breakdown. He told her he was in a hospital for a few months and was better for a time. A few years later, he had a girlfriend who also died, in an accident I think.

After that, he was in a permanent depression and just couldn’t cope with life at all. He lost his job and was homeless for a long time. Somehow, he got a small camper and lived in that. He came to her campground and asked the owner if he could live there by doing odd jobs and he told him he could.

My sister knew him for at least five years but told me he was going downhill. He started going to a psychiatric hospital occasionally. Later, when she would ask him to work for her, he forgot or took a few weeks to do it. Eventually, he quit doing all work.

Around that time, they started talking about God. She bought him two Bibles, one a graphic novel type and another regular Bible. She spoke to him of what God had done for her and how she loved being a Christian.

He told her all the Christians he had met were unkind to him, especially two people at the park. They had promised to pay him a certain amount of money and then cut his pay in half after he was done. He said he had tried to go to churches, but the people there didn’t want him. He said he was surprised she was a Christian because she was nice to him.

A few months later, she found out the owner and manager had kicked him out because he wasn’t working enough and his site was messy. She doesn’t know where he went.

When I think of that man, I think of the word, “Outcast.” Then I think of Jesus, a friend of outcasts and who became one himself. I also think of mental illness and how misunderstood it is.

As I’ve written before, I have a mental illness and my sister told me most of the homeless people she met have had either a physical or mental illness. They are people no one knows what to do with. They are without a rudder in this cold world. People look down on them and ask, “Why aren’t they working? They look healthy enough to work!”

I’ll tell you why. They probably can’t concentrate, they may be terrified of people (like me), they are afraid to work because they know they will make mistakes and people will yell at them, and they can’t bear the thought of that. (me) Their memory isn’t good. They will forget what you told them to do, or misunderstand instructions. (me) They don’t have a car, bus fare, clothing. They are sometimes so nervous they cannot speak. (me)

If I didn’t have a husband to support me, I’d be homeless myself. Well, my daughters would take me in. I am blessed that way. My family understands my illness and loves me.

I’m writing this because I wish so much that the world would do something for these people. I know how complicated that is; although I did read about a city in Canada that built apartments for all the homeless and made it a law they couldn’t live on the streets. It has worked out wonderfully and is actually saving the city money. Maybe it isn’t as hard as we think. We have a terrific Premier in BC, where I live. He is doing a lot for the homeless. I admire him.

Well, I said what was burning in my heart. Here are some verses from the Bible about outcasts.

The blind man Jesus healed:

They answered and said to him, "You were born entirely in sins, and do you teach us?" And they cast him out. 

When Jesus heard that they had thrown him out, He found the man and said, “Do you believe in the Son of Man?”

 “Who is He, Sir?” he replied. “Tell me so that I may believe in Him.” “You have already seen Him,” Jesus answered. “He is the One speaking with you.” “Lord, I believe,” he said. And he worshiped Jesus.   John 9:34-38

A parable of Jesus:

So, they took him and killed him and cast him out of the vineyard.   Mark 12:8

God speaking to Israel:

If your outcasts are in the uttermost parts of heaven, from there the LORD your God will gather you, and from there he will take you.  Deut. 30:4

I will make the lame into a remnant, and the outcast into a strong nation. Then the LORD will rule over them in Mount Zion from that day and forever.  Micah 4:7

Behold, at that time I will deal with all your oppressors. And I will save the lame and gather the outcast, and I will change their shame into praise and renown in all the earth.   Zeph. 3:19

Whereas you have been forsaken and hated, with no one passing through, I will make you majestic forever, a joy from age to age.   Isaiah 60:15

Those who hurt the poor:

What do you mean by crushing my people, by grinding the face of the poor?” declares the Lord GOD of hosts.   Isaiah 3:15

What sorrow awaits the unjust judges

and those who issue unfair laws.

They deprive the poor of justice

and deny the rights of the needy among my people.

They prey on widows

and take advantage of orphans.

What will you do when I punish you,

when I send disaster upon you from a distant land?

To whom will you turn for help?

Where will your treasures be safe?

Isaiah 10:1-3

 

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 [DU1] 

Describe Who You Are.

 

 I am reading a book called, Not Alone: Reflections on Faith and Depression, by Monica A. Coleman. The book is written as a 40-day devotional. At the end of each chapter, she asks questions. In Chapter 4 she asks, What are some of the names that help describe who you are?

I thought for a minute and said, “I am Daughter of the King of the Universe. I am Lover of the Sky. (Because when I go out on my balcony to smoke I look at the sky and feel happy to see blue sky, white or black clouds, sunsets, stars and planets.) I am Curious. I want to learn all I can about good things. I am Creative, I love making things of all kinds. I am Devoted, to God and my family.”

If I had been asked this question years ago while going through a time of agony and depression I would have said, “I am Broken – like a mirror shattered in a thousand pieces flying through the sky and landing in the dirt. I am Cursed, because my father’s family was evil. I am Hated, because I felt hated as a child. I am Crazy, because that was how I felt. I am Dirty, Ugly, Not Wanted, Irritating, Stupid, Not Known, Rejected.”

I was happily surprised at the new way I see myself now. I didn’t even know this change was happening in me! But 7 years of relying on God alone to be my everything has resulted in this wonderful new way of thinking.

I’ve heard this recently from preachers on podcasts; not to rely on what others think of you, say to you or how they talk about you to others. And not to rely on the voice of yourself that comes screeching into your mind telling you that you are worthless. No! All that truly matters is what God thinks of you. And if you have no one in your life who loves you well, he will.

What does God think of me? I think he is glad I want to know him. He asks us to ask, seek and find. I have sought and found. He says he knocks on the door of our hearts and waits for us to let him in. I have let him in.

I don’t have to be perfect I only have to ask him to cover me with his perfection. I fall many times, but he picks me up. “… for though the righteous fall seven times, they rise again, but the wicked stumble when calamity strikes. Proverbs 24:16

The steps of a man are ordered by the LORD who takes delight in his journey. Though he falls, he will not be overwhelmed, for the LORD is holding his hand. 

Psalm 37:24

Well, I was so excited about how I see myself now, I just had to share it with you. I mean, therapy helped me get through a lot of hard stuff, but it was giving my bad thoughts to Jesus and refusing to hold them in my mind that helped the most. They still come; I will never be free of them in this life, but I now know God is the strength of my life and he can deal with them and I can have a happy life in spite of them. God alone is enough. If any of you are in the state I was in 7 years ago, I hope you will give Jesus a chance to help you.

 

Can God Set A Table in the Wilderness?

 

“They spoke against God, saying, ‘Can God spread a table in the wilderness? True, he struck the rock, and water gushed out, streams flowed abundantly, but can he also give us bread? Can he supply meat for his people?’"   Psalm 78-19.20

These verses are speaking of the nation of Israel when they wandered in the desert. God had been sending a food called manna for a long time but the people were tired of it. They wanted meat to eat instead. God said he would send meat, but even Moses asked God where he would get meat for these thousands of people. Then God sent a wind that blew quails into their camp and they ate.

These are dark times in the world. Not only are we living through a pandemic that has turned the world upside down, but there is strife and violence within the nations. Because of global warming, we could be facing another disaster: famine.

If this happens in Western nations, where we have had plenty of food to eat all our lives, violence will fill the land. People will kill even their own neighbors for food. I pray this won’t come to pass, but as Christians we need to fortify ourselves by asking God to strengthen us and also by believing He will feed us if there is ever a shortage of food. There are also many stories in the Bible of God feeding his followers when they needed it. God has shown us he will take care of his children during a famine.

When there was a famine in the land, God fed Elijah. “Then a revelation from the LORD came to Elijah: “Leave here, turn eastward, and hide yourself by the Brook of Cherith, east of the Jordan. And you are to drink from the brook, and I have commanded the ravens to feed you there.”

“So, Elijah did what the LORD had told him, and he went and lived by the Brook of Cherith, east of the Jordan.  The ravens would bring him bread and meat in the morning and evening, and he would drink from the brook.  Some time later, however, the brook dried up because there had been no rain in the land.” 1 Kings 17:2-7

God then sent Elijah to a widow whom he knew would feed him. “Then the word of the LORD came to Elijah: “Get up and go to Zarephath of Sidon, and stay there. Behold, I have commanded a widow there to provide for you.” Verse 8

“So Elijah got up and went to Zarephath. When he arrived at the city gate, there was a widow gathering sticks. Elijah called to her and said, “Please bring me a little water in a cup, so that I may drink.” And as she was going to get it, he called to her and said, “Please bring me a piece of bread.”

But she replied, “As surely as the LORD your God lives, I have no bread—only a handful of flour in a jar and a little oil in a jug. Look, I am gathering a couple of sticks to take home and prepare a meal for myself and my son, so that we may eat it and die.”

 “Do not be afraid,” Elijah said to her. “Go and do as you have said. But first make me a small cake of bread from what you have, and bring it out to me. Afterward, make some for yourself and your son, for this is what the LORD, the God of Israel, says: ‘The jar of flour will not be exhausted and the jug of oil will not run dry until the day the LORD sends rain upon the face of the earth.’ ”

So, she went and did according to the word of Elijah, and there was food every day for Elijah and the woman and her household. The jar of flour was not exhausted and the jug of oil did not run dry, according to the word that the LORD had spoken through Elijah.”

Notice how the widow obeyed and even served the prophet first? God sent Elijah to her because he knew her faith was great. She is a shining example for us.

When Jesus had been with crowds of people for days, he felt sorry for them and fed thousands of them with just a few fish and a little bread.

       In the book of Isaiah it is asked, “Who of us can dwell with a consuming fire?

Who of us can dwell with everlasting flames?”  

(The context is seeing God in his glory when he comes again.)

 

The answer is:

       “He who walks righteously

and speaks with sincerity,

who refuses gain from extortion,

whose hand never takes a bribe,

who stops his ears against murderous plots

and shuts his eyes tightly against evil—

 

he will dwell on the heights;

the mountain fortress will be his refuge;

his food will be provided

and his water assured. Your eyes will see the King in His beauty

and behold a land that stretches afar.

Your mind will ponder the former terror:

“Where is he who tallies? Where is he who weighs?

Where is he who counts the towers?”  Isaiah 33:14-18

 

Evil people can terrify us, but remember who made the earth, food, water  and animals. We will see the King in His beauty and wonder why we were afraid.

 

 

These Dark Days.

 

Photo by Peter Griffin

(I give permission for anyone to copy any of my posts.)

In these dark days, we need encouragement, hope and peace. God will give that to us in many ways. One way is asking him for them, another is listening to uplifting music. Somehow music feeds our soul. Like everything else on earth it can feed our souls for good or evil. The last few years, I have found music lifts my heart up to the heavens. The earth seems to fade away.

 Below I have printed the lyrics to a song that comforts me. This artist sings some of the most beautiful words I have heard in music. I hope you look him up and give his music a try.

 Always Good.

 Written and sung by Andrew Peterson

 Do You remember how Mary was grieving?

How You wept and she fell at Your feet?
If it's true that You know what I'm feeling
Could it be that You're weeping with me?

Arise, O Lord, and save me
There's nowhere else to go

You're always good, always good
Somehow this sorrow is shaping my heart
Like it should
And You're always good, always good

It's so hard to know what You're doing
So why won't You tell it all plain?
But You said You'd come back on the third day
And Peter missed it again and again

So maybe the answer surrounds us
And we don't have eyes to see

You're always good, always good
This heartache is moving me closer than joy ever could
And You're always good

My God, my God, be near me
There's nowhere else to go
And Lord, if You can hear me
Please help Your child to know

That You're always good, always good
As we try to believe what is not meant
To be understood
Will You help us to trust Your intentions for us are still good?
'Cause You laid down Your life and You suffered like I never could

And You're always good, always good
You're always good, always good

 

 We Christians should never forget what happened to the followers of Jesus right after he went to heaven. There was death, imprisonment and persecution. Many Jews were thrown out of their church, excommunicated. This meant no one could trade with them or talk with them. They lost everything for Jesus. That is why the believers needed to share among themselves. The need was very great.

 Remember what happened when Rome turned against Christianity. They tortured and killed thousands. Remember the suffering of the Holocaust. Not only Jews, but Christians, gays, mentally disabled and those who resisted Hitler were wiped out. Remember the suffering of the war itself. I had an uncle who died who left a wife and two daughters behind.

 It seems to me that we, North Americans, are surprised by suffering. We don’t seem to think we should have to suffer anything. Even the wearing of a simple mask in order to not spread an illness to others. No, we think that is too much to ask. It is a sacrifice we aren’t willing to make.

 Many believe there is no virus. It is all untrue! So that means every news service in all the world is lying about all the people who are suffering and dying. There is some vast (worldwide) conspiracy against – who? Them personally, I guess.

 To me, these are the scary people of the world. These are the ones who will persecute others to the death – like the ones who go surround government officials with weapons and send death threats. If they can, they will overthrow the democracy of the United States and keep Trump in power.

 We are in our own era now, with our own wars against a virus, against ignorance and against pure evil. We don’t need to fear though, because God will walk through this time with us. He may let us suffer as he has done for millions in the past. We may lose our lives to violence by the hand of evil people.

 But as the song says, Jesus did too. And his death was much worse than any that can happen to a human, because he had the sins of the world on his heart and his Father turned away from him. The Father did this so Jesus could experience the second death: knowing we will be separated from God forever because of our sinful lives. At the judgement, God will show us our sinful lives and why he can’t take us to heaven. Then we will die and be dead forever. Jesus went through that to take our place if we want him to. He endured it so we don’t have to, and he endured it for every person.

 

 

 

A Crisis of Faith

 Tony5875

Crisis of Faith

What is a crisis of faith?

Answer: The term crisis of faith usually refers to the point at which a person feels that he or she can no longer serve God or follow Christ. A person going through a crisis of faith is tempted to turn away from all he or she had believed in.   gotquestions.org

 I listened to a podcast today: “Made For This with Jennie Allen.” post #18.  She interviewed a woman who had gone to Africa as a missionary and events occurred that caused her to lose her faith in God.

 Immediately after I heard this story, I listened to Timothy Keller give a sermon, called “Meeting the Real Jesus,” about John the Baptist and Jesus. He read the story of when John was in prison and he sent some of his friends to ask Jesus this question: “Are you the one who is to come or should we look for another?”

 Even though God had showed John by a miracle that Jesus was the Messiah, he now questioned his belief. He had been thrown into prison and knew he could die. Jesus was doing nothing to fight against the Romans or get him out of jail. He even refused when people wanted to make him King of Israel. What kind of Messiah was he?

 Jesus told John’s disciples to go back to John and tell him what they had seen him do that day. He had healed the sick, “The blind see, the lame walk, lepers are cleansed, the deaf hear, the dead are raised, and the poor have good news proclaimed to them.  Blessed is anyone who takes no offense at me.”   Matthew 11:5,6

 Jesus was referring to Isaiah 61:1, where it explains the work of the Messiah. And he finished by telling John those are blessed who are not offended by Jesus. John was having a crisis of faith, and that crisis has its root in being offended by God.

 The woman missionary was offended by what God let happen to her. She had thought God would act differently than he did. She started thinking there was no God at all. He wasn’t the kind of God she thought she knew.

 That happened to one of my sisters when she lost her health, her job and had to sell her home and eventually live in a van. Then her dog ran off in the desert and never returned. She was very angry at God. He had given her a horrible life, she felt. She told me, “The only thing he hasn’t taken is my van.”

 We had long talks about this when she came and lived with my husband and I. I also had been through terrible times, but I had studied many books on the subject of God and suffering and why he allows it. Gradually, she came to see that she wanted to go back to God and she did. The day she left our home she said, “I’ve told God he can take my van too if he wants to.” This gave me great joy.

 My crisis of faith came when I was 42. I saw someone I love go through terrible suffering and that was very painful. But it was actually the thought of all the millions who had suffered just like her that made me turn from God. I could not understand and I was offended.

 After a few years of study, I did seem to understand and also, I missed God. At that time in my life it was impossible for me to believe God loved me, but it was a fact that there was nowhere else to go. He was the one with words of eternal life. He was the one who had a book that was awe-inspiring. He was the one who kept saying, “Help the poor and needy. Feed the hungry and love your enemy.”

 I’m now glad I had this crisis of faith because incredibly, my faith is stronger now than ever. I always knew my faith was tiny, but when my grandson died, I saw what God had done to me. I had peace and rested in his arms. When my husband had a stroke, I was filled with peace once again. Learning to trust God in the face of suffering is a fantastic thing, in spite of the confusion and mental pain.

 Many Christians have a crisis of faith during their walk with God. Many of us have the wrong idea of who God is, especially those who are raised in a religious home. We grow up believing what our parents believe, we grow up in a certain church which has its beliefs. And they are all so sure that what they believe is true.

 Sometimes, God will step into our lives to show us what is true or untrue about himself. He wants us to know him as he is. And sometimes he needs to take away all the things we rely on because we haven’t learned to rely on him. He does this because he loves us. Something I finally believe for myself in my old age.