This
morning, I felt God wanted me to write about my grandson who died from heroin.
It happened about two months ago I don’t remember the date. He was thirty.
Jordan was a
kind person. This is what his friends said when his mother called them to tell
them what had happened. He was certainly kind to me and my husband. He loved
well, which is perhaps what led to his death.
Jordan had an
older brother, Craig, and he followed him like a puppy dog through their childhood.
They did everything together, had the same friends, and loved the same
activities. But when they were in their late teens, Craig started taking cocaine.
Jordan didn’t
like the way Craig was living his life. They had arguments and sometimes didn’t
speak. Then one night Craig died. He had too much to drink, fell asleep on a soft
sofa with his face down and suffocated. I have written about this before. It happened
10 years ago.
Jordan was
devastated by Craig’s death. He told his mother that he and Craig had been
fighting and his last words to Craig were unkind. He felt great guilt because
of that, and as the months and years passed by, he never got over his deep sadness.
I think it
was a year later he started taking different drugs to help him through the pain
and ended up on heroin. Many times, he wanted to quit. His mom came to live
with him for a month while he went cold turkey and that experience was horrible
for both of them. Once he was off the drug he could be on our government’s plan
of free daily methadone. And he did that off and on for years.
His mother
did everything she could to help him, but Jordan wasn’t just depressed, he
couldn’t stand to be around people. He went into a rehab facility and only
stayed 2 hours. He couldn’t work and my daughter supported him the whole ten
years. Food, clothing, everything. She was terrified of him living on the
streets.
During this
time, my daughter asked me to text Jordan every day with Bible verses and
prayers which I did. He told her he really enjoyed the texts. We went through
most of the Bible, which I wrote in my own words and shortened it. We were all
praying for him.
About two
weeks before he died, Jordan told his mom he had started praying. By that time,
he was very thin, kind of agitated and sometimes not making sense. My husband
said to me, “I think Jordan is going to die.” Then it happened.
What can I
say about that? I can’t convey all my feelings, there are too many. I can say
God has given us comfort because we asked for that. We all say, “He is out of
pain now. He is with God.” That gives us comfort, because we know that we will
see him and his brother again. The gut-wrenching pain of losing them is
lessened when I pray. It hurts so much I want to scream, but God supports me.
Years ago, I
was in a chat room with some Christians and when I told them about Craig and
why I knew he was going to be in heaven, a man wrote, “This woman believes God
will save addicts while they are still using!” I said, “Yes, I do.”
I know Craig
was praying before he died. I know Jordan was praying before he died. They
believed in God. “What must I do to be saved?” the Roman jailer asked Paul. “Believe
in the Lord Jesus Christ, and you will be saved, you and your household.” It is
truly that simple. And as for those who have died without praying or knowing
God, I trust God to do for them what is right. He knows who is safe to bring to
heaven.
When the
boys were young, I babysat them for many years. I’m so grateful for that time.
We became very close and they knew they could talk with me about anything. They
both had attention span and learning difficulties. It wasn’t easy for me
because they got bored so quickly, but I loved them dearly.
Well, they
won’t be bored in heaven. Lol. I’m sure there will be a lot of fun stuff to do
there. God put a sense of humor, fun and excitement within us. I picture them
snowboarding again on mountains full of powder snow. I’ve always wanted to
climb a mountain and I’m pretty sure I will up there. I want to learn to play
the piano, harp and violin. I want to compose my own music and I want to dance,
dance, dance. I know we will dance there because little children dance as soon
as they hear music. They don’t have to be taught. Like all gifts from God, it
is wonderful. “Every good and perfect gift comes down from the Father of the
stars.” Trust me when I tell you, God is good and he loves you.
