Lazy Eye.

Hi Everyone, I saw my eye surgeon and I am seeing double because I have a, “lazy eye,” along with the cataract. Apparently, my left eye cannot keep up with my right eye. It lags behind. Lol  It is kind of disconcerting to see cars on top of each other – the same car, I mean.

This is a photo by the Marine Corps. This is a bit like double vision, but it isn't quite so faded in the background.

I’m very happy it wasn’t a mini-stroke. But I’m still going to continue taking a low-dose aspirin every day. Old people like me are supposed to do that; so says the teeny-bopper-emergency doctor.

My mom is in the rehabilitation facility again, but she is refusing to exercise. She says all she wants to do is stay in bed and sleep. I’m afraid she is depressed, but I have to admire her spunk in saying a big "No" every time they try to get her to exercise. I don’t blame her at all. She is 90 yrs. old and just wants to rest. I think she will be booted out soon for insubordination. Lol

Well, if she is, she will go to live in a beautiful nursing home and I'll be there almost every day, just like now. I really enjoy visiting her.

I asked her nurse to get her a psych consult to see if they can help her with depression. She is eating, but not much. I read to her and buy her chocolate bars,  and she likes that. I actually got her to go outside for a “wheelchair bocce” game today.  She wouldn’t play, but she did say she enjoyed watching the others play. This was a good sign. They served ice cream and lemonade afterwards. The people at this place have been very kind since we have come back.

Meanwhile, back in the spiritual realm, God has been a rock, a strong tower, my shield and sword. I have found shelter under the shadow of his wings. I don’t fear evil, for he is with me. His rod and his staff comfort me. The Bible does not lie. As long as we pour out our hearts to him, all the promises of his comfort and strength come true.

“Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”   Isaiah 41:10

Joni.

I just finished reading Joni Eareckson Tada’s book, 31 Days Toward Overcoming Adversity. It is a wonderful book, full of wisdom. She writes about our walk with God, and how we should consider the hard times. Here is an excerpt:

“Okay, so there was the Lord Jesus giving Paul his route. “The road I want you to take, Paul, is the one that’s going to Rome. Keep heading in that direction no matter what. You can’t miss it.” 

With Jesus Himself as travel agent, you’d expect a first-class trip, right? Not so. For two years on that long road to Rome, Paul faced more than his fair share of bypasses, ruts, hazards, and roadblocks. The journey featured constant trouble, murderous plots, and imprisonments.

Then there was the long detour when a hurricane tossed him around the Mediterranean for fourteen days. Until his ship finally hit a sandbar. And broke into pieces. After which he managed to swim to an island. After which he was bitten by a poisonous snake. An easy road? Hey, the Roman Road was no freeway. 

The tolls were unbelievably high. And yet this was the very road Jesus told him to take! Ah, but Paul trusted his Friend. Though the road was rugged — even vicious at times — Paul trusted. If the Lord Jesus had set him on the road to adversity, then he knew that, no matter what, it was the best road to heaven he could possibly find. No matter what happened to Him — smooth passage or storm — live or die — he was completely safe.”

It took me a long time to realize my life would not be trouble-free as I walked with God. Everyone in this world of sin suffers in one way or another. 

As Paul says, “Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us." Romans 5:3-5  

I take heart in the knowledge that the people of the Bible suffered also and yet found hope in God. He is our only hope in this world.

Mom Fell Down.

Mom has been very comfortable in the hospital, but they continue to want her to walk. She woke in the middle of the night and was confused. She is supposed to ring for help. She didn’t, and she fell trying to reach the bathroom.

The fall was a hard one. She hit the back of her head, which tore and she was bleeding. I’m not sure how long she lay there since she doesn’t know either. They taped the skin together and put a large, turban-like bandage around her head. They called me in the morning and I went to see her right away. She isn’t in any pain, not even a headache. I’m very glad. They put a sensor on her that will give an alarm if she tries to get out of bed by herself again. I wish they had put it on her from the beginning. I think they should put one on every old person there. She is still cold most of the time and her hands are icy.

My cousin and his wife came to stay with us for 6 days. They knew I was feeling upset and it was wonderful to see them. They took us out for drives in the country and for dinner every night. I really appreciate what they did.

My daughter had a meeting with two representatives from Interior Health and they told her Mom didn’t have to go back to our home. I guess all the letter-writing I did paid off and of course God was working for us. 

I went to a chiropractor about my foot. He used Shock-Wave Therapy on it and told me to buy Birkinstock sandals. My cousin bought the sandals and I could walk better by evening. Each day my foot got better and now I don’t even need the cane. I’m so happy. I get two more treatments on that foot and then three on the left foot, which is sore when I walk, but not horribly so.

Thank you all so much for your prayers. It means a lot to me to know people are praying for Mom and the family.

The Hospital Again.

It has been a roller coaster ride with my mother the past month. She is now back in the hospital because I injured myself and can barely walk. I’m using her cane now, which is kind of ironic.

While taking care of my mom, my feet started to hurt. I thought it was just more fibromyalgia, but it turned out to be Plantar Fasciitis. It was painful, but manageable. Then a few days ago, I twisted my foot while helping Mom. A pain shot up my leg and that was it – I couldn’t walk.

Mom rarely slept more than 1-2 hours at a time. She needed to be turned over constantly. That night, my husband stayed up and took care of her. We sent for an ambulance in the morning to take her to the hospital because we had no one to take care of her. The hospital wasn’t too happy, but there was nothing else we could do.

The people at the hospital thought Mom wasn’t sick, just recuperating from her hip operation. But she was sick – very sick. Even her doctor wouldn’t believe me until Mom stayed overnight, and the nurses told everyone how sick Mom was. Her tests came back normal – that’s why they wouldn’t believe me. Well, tests or not, I knew she was very sick and dying.

The second night she was there, someone made a mistake and she was given two sleeping pills. She went into kidney failure. They actually admitted to me they almost killed her! I was surprised by the admission.

We went to see her again today. She is the same, except she was shivering all over because she was cold. We got three more blankets for her and she finally warmed up. She told us the nurses were all wonderful and very kind. I was happy to hear that.

I read a Psalm to my mom when I visited. She loved it so much. Here it is:

You have searched me, Lord,

and you know me.

You know when I sit and when I rise;

you perceive my thoughts from afar.

You discern my going out and my lying down;

you are familiar with all my ways.

Before a word is on my tongue

you, Lord, know it completely.

You hem me in behind and before,

and you lay your hand upon me.

Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,

too lofty for me to attain.

Where can I go from your Spirit?

Where can I flee from your presence?

If I go up to the heavens, you are there;

if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.

If I rise on the wings of the dawn,

if I settle on the far side of the sea,

even there your hand will guide me,

your right hand will hold me fast.

If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me

and the light become night around me,”

even the darkness will not be dark to you;

the night will shine like the day,

for darkness is as light to you.

For you created my inmost being;

you knit me together in my mother’s womb.

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;

your works are wonderful,

I know that full well.

My frame was not hidden from you

when I was made in the secret place,

when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.

Your eyes saw my unformed body;

all the days ordained for me were written in your book

before one of them came to be.

How precious to me are your thoughts, God!

How vast is the sum of them!

Were I to count them,

they would outnumber the grains of sand—

when I awake, I am still with you.

Search me, God, and know my heart;

test me and know my anxious thoughts.

See if there is any offensive way in me,

and lead me in the way everlasting.

Psalm 139 - Abridged

My Mom is Dying.

My mom got an infection after hip surgery. They didn’t know until she had been sent to a rehabilitation center. In my mind she seemed too sick to do exercises and I was right. We took her home to take care of her ourselves.

The government sent a nurse to our house to evaluate her. They wanted to know if she could exercise and teach me how to take care of her. The nurse was lovely. She met the family and then went into Mom’s room and talked with her and me.

She could see Mom was too weak and sick to do any exercises. She explained how much easier it would be for me to take care of mother if we had a hospital bed. She said the Red Cross loaned them for no cost for 6 – 9 months. After that we have to buy our own. So, we ordered one from the Red Cross. We also are able to have two nurse’s aides come and give mother a bath once a week and take care of her for three hours while my husband and I go out. The cost is covered by the government.

Mom’s infection was cured; now she is just tired and wants to sleep day and night. She isn’t eating anything, but drinks water, Boost and orange juice. I have read that when we are dying, we no longer have an appetite. This is our body helping us die peacefully.

My husband, daughters and granddaughters have been helping me. Mom is restless and wants to turn over in bed often. Actually this is good for her because of bed sores. I would have to move her every two hours anyway. When she had the infection she wanted to be turned about every 15 minutes. That was extremely tiring. My husband and I took turns so we could sleep.

I bought a book called, “Meditating on the Psalms,” by John Eaton. I’ve been enjoying it very much. He writes about “alphabetic” or “ acrostic” Psalms. The poet begins the song with the A of their alphabet and each line begins with the next letter. I thought I would try to write one myself. Here it is:

All the Lord does is beautiful.

Beautiful in love, wisdom and mercy.

Call upon the Lord, and he will hear you.

Depend on his saving grace.

Everything that breathes, the Lord has made.

From the ant to the whale, God made us all.

He reigns in the heavens.

In his throne room he rules over all.

Justice and righteousness are the foundation of his throne.

Keep your eyes, heart and mind upon the Lord.

Look on him who is perfect.

Many are his marvelous words and works.

Never lean upon man; lean upon God.

Open your heart to him.

Pour out your thoughts and sorrows.

Quietly, he will strengthen you.

Rest in his everlasting love.

Surely, he will save your soul.

Tenderly he will lead you.

Under the shadow of his wings you will find refuge.

Vast are his thoughts towards you.

Why should we worry or be troubled?

eXalt his name in all the earth.

Your heart he will fill with peace and love.

Zion is his habitation and from there he will reign over us.

My Mother.

My mother in grade 12 in Alberta, Canada.

My mother is in the hospital right now. That's why I haven't been posting lately. She has been slowly going downhill over the last 6 months. She’s a trooper. She is very weak, but in good spirits. Her memory is bad. She doesn’t remember why she is in the hospital, but that doesn’t seem to bother her. I told her yesterday, “You broke your hip and had an operation.”  She said, “That’s more information than I wanted.” She still has her sense of humor and jokes with the nurses.

I’m not sure if she will ever be able to move back in with us as she is so weak and can’t walk. Whatever the Lord wills is good with her and me. She is happy at the hospital because my mother is happy no matter what is happening.

“Your love, Lord, extends to the heavens.

Your faithfulness reaches to the skies.

Your righteousness is like the highest mountains.

Your justice like the great deep.

You, Lord, preserve both people and animals.

How priceless is your unfailing love, O God!

People take refuge in the shadow of your wings.

They feast on the abundance of your house;

You give them to drink from your river of delights.

For with you is the fountain of life.

In your light we see light.”

Psalm 36:6-9

Jonathan: A Man of Faith.

When the Israelites wanted a king, God chose Saul. A people called the Philistines were constantly oppressing Israel. One day Israel and the Philistines gathered to wage war. But Israel had no weapons yet. Only the king and his son had swords. His son’s name was Jonathan.

I find Jonathan to be a wonderful example of faith, humility and courage.  This first story about Jonathan shows his faith in the power of God.

1 Samuel 14 (abridged)

One day Jonathan son of Saul said to his young armor-bearer, “Come, let’s go over to the Philistine outpost on the other side.” But he did not tell his father.

Jonathan said to his young armor-bearer, “Come, let’s go over to the outpost of those uncircumcised men. Perhaps the Lord will act in our behalf. Nothing can hinder the Lord from saving, whether by many or by few.”

 “Do all that you have in mind,” his armor-bearer said. “Go ahead; I am with you heart and soul.”

(Jonathan asked God for a sign.)

Jonathan said, “Come on, then; we will cross over toward them and let them see us.  If they say to us, ‘Wait there until we come to you,’ we will stay where we are and not go up to them.  But if they say, ‘Come up to us,’ we will climb up, because that will be our sign that the Lord has given them into our hands.”

So both of them showed themselves to the Philistine outpost. “Look!” said the Philistines. “The Hebrews are crawling out of the holes they were hiding in.”  The men of the outpost shouted to Jonathan and his armor-bearer, “Come up to us and we’ll teach you a lesson.”

So Jonathan said to his armor-bearer, “Climb up after me; the Lord has given them into the hand of Israel.”

Jonathan climbed up, using his hands and feet, with his armor-bearer right behind him. The Philistines fell before Jonathan, and his armor-bearer followed and killed behind him.  In that first attack Jonathan and his armor-bearer killed some twenty men in an area of about half an acre. 

Israel Routs the Philistines

Then panic struck the whole army—those in the camp and field, and those in the outposts and raiding parties—and the ground shook. It was a panic sent by God.

When all the Israelites who had hidden in the hill country of Ephraim heard that the Philistines were on the run, they joined the battle in hot pursuit. So on that day the Lord saved Israel and the battle moved on beyond Beth Aven."

Jonathan had probably remembered how God had fought for and saved Israel using Gideon and 300 men against the many thousands of Midianites.

 Jonathan knew God could do anything and acted accordingly. His faith is a beautiful example to all of us.