A Neighbor's Corona Virus Story.

“Therefore, my spirit faints within me; my heart within me is appalled.”  Psalm 143:4


The verse above is from a prayer by David.


Today, a “Therefore, my spirit faints within me; my heart within me is appalled.”  Psalm 143:4


The verse above is from a prayer by David.


Today, a neighbor talked with me while I was getting my mail. We were careful, standing at least 15 feet apart. She poured out her heart to me about her mother-in-law, who has all the symptoms of Corona Virus and nothing is being done for her. They aren’t allowed to take her to the hospital, even though there are empty beds. She is suffering at her home, all alone. She is quarantined and in pain, gasping and trying to get her breath. She is 83. The hospital told her family, “It isn’t time yet.” My friend told her mother-in-law to dial 911 (which they did once already and no one came), when she felt she was dying so someone would come get her body.


I think hospitals are doing this because they have run out of tests for the virus, nurses are becoming infected and she is 83 years old. I can’t think of any other reason they would not even try to relieve her suffering. I see statistics on the news that the curve is flattening here in Canada. Well, that makes sense since they aren’t taking tests and are leaving people to fend for themselves and die alone.  I felt so sad for this family.


My sister and I talk about the virus every day. She lives in Washington State and I live in BC, Canada. We think she has had the virus already. She was very sick a week ago, but is back to feeling awful instead of horrible. She has a lot of health problems and never feels normal.


She and I are both negative people. We have always thought the worst would probably happen to us and people we love. We are “catastrophic thinkers.” Each event, we take to the nth degree of disaster. We don’t want any surprises. This has made life extra hard for us, but we have both been working on turning to God with these thoughts. Believe me, he comes through, big-time.


You know how a person gets into that kind of thinking? My sister was threatened by a family member a few times by waking up with a sharp knife at her throat. I was abused by my father. If your life is threatened by someone close to you when you are a little child, you never feel safe again. 


But this is where faith in God comes in. Not that we think God won’t let us get the virus and die, no, we just trust him to know what is best. If God doesn’t want you to die, you won’t. And if you are dying, he will be with you. This gives me peace. I wrote about this recently, but I feel I should share this again.


Also, there is hope for new medicine and a vaccine. I just read last night a university in Canada has experimented and found a drug that seems to help people get better from the virus. That made me so happy. I hope they will start using it on patients soon.


The prayer of David, at the beginning of my post goes on to say:

I remember the days of old;

I meditate on all Your works;

I consider the work of Your hands.

I stretch out my hands to You;

my soul thirsts for You like a parched land.

Answer me quickly, O LORD;

my spirit fails.

Do not hide Your face from me,

or I will be like those who descend to the Pit.

Let me hear Your loving devotion in the morning,

for I have put my trust in You.

Teach me the way I should walk,

for to You I lift up my soul.

Deliver me from my enemies, O LORD;

I flee to You for refuge.

Teach me to do Your will,

for You are my God.

May Your good Spirit lead me

on level ground.

This is a good prayer for this time in history. When we feel our spirit faint within us, consider the works of Jesus, stretch out your hands to him. Put your trust in him. Ask him to teach you how to live. Then rest in his love.

“Do not fear, for I am with you;

do not be afraid, for I am your God.

I will strengthen you; I will surely help you;

I will uphold you with My right hand of righteousness.”

Isaiah 41:10

The Comfort of the Psalms.

I have written before about how my mother was diagnosed with 90% chance of colon cancer. There is something there, but they didn't want to do a biopsy because she is 90 and it is painful. Even if they did find out for sure, the operation to remove it is too much for her.

So, last week a palliative nurse came by to interview Mom and myself. She was very kind and helpful. My mom keeps forgetting her diagnosis and had to be reminded. As soon as my mother has any pain, I am supposed to call these nurses and they come right over to give my mother drugs and help out with anything else. It is good to know they will be here.

We saw Mom's regular doctor and she has set Mom up with a hospice home, just in case she gets too much pain. Mom will then go to live there until the end. I do love how our government takes care of all this. The hospice care will only be $37 a day. The nurse visits are free. The doctor said they will not let Mother die in pain.

Mom hasn't had any blockage or pain since the first time when she went to emergency. I'm very happy about that. At first she slept most of the day and night, and I just let her. The hospital never let her sleep a lot and neither did the rehab center. After a few weeks of only being awake 4 or 5 hours, she now gets up more often and stays awake for hours. She is doing very well and is happy. I'm so glad God gave us this nice time together.

The last few weeks, I've had a hard time falling asleep and staying asleep. I'm sure you all know how frustrating that can be, not to mention I was getting more tired. I took half a sleeping pill for two nights this week. It was nice to sleep, but they do make me feel groggy and just yucky. Last night, I didn't take any and didn't get to sleep until 6am.

I don't feel I am worrying about Mom, I think it is just having it in my mind that I do not know when or what is going to happen. Then there are the other members of my family that I think about. Also, I have nightmares, not about my father anymore, but about my family suffering. This means I'm kind of scared to fall asleep because of the dreams.

I used to worry about my family so much I would cry and feel terrified. I am no longer that way. I do trust God completely when it comes to them. I know he loves them even more than I do. I know he is working for them because I have asked him to.

This morning, well 1pm when I woke up, I talked with God about it some more and opened my Bible. I always am encouraged by the Psalms, so I went there. God encouraged me through his words, and I'm so thankful. Later on, I saw an ad about older people who have Parkinson's Disease. I thought that it would be awful if Mom had that. I thought about what other people have to deal with. I felt comforted by God that dying is just a part of this life and he is here with me through it all.
These are the verses I read this morning:

Lord, hear my prayer, listen to my cry for mercy;

in your faithfulness and righteousness come to my relief.

Do not bring your servant into judgment, for no one living is righteous before you.

(When the Psalms speak of an enemy, I think of Satan as the enemy who tries to discourage me.)

The enemy pursues me, he crushes me to the ground;

he makes me dwell in the darkness like those long dead.

So my spirit grows faint within me; my heart within me is dismayed.

I remember the days of long ago; I meditate on all your works and consider what your hands have done.

(Often I think of what God has done for me and what he has done in the Bible.)

I spread out my hands to you; I thirst for you like a parched land.

Answer me quickly, Lord; my spirit fails.

Do not hide your face from me or I will be like those who go down to the pit.

Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you.

Show me the way I should go, for to you I entrust my life.

Rescue me from my enemies, Lord, for I hide myself in you.

Teach me to do your will for you are my God; may your good Spirit lead me on level ground.

For your name’s sake, Lord, preserve my life; in your righteousness, bring me out of trouble.

In your unfailing love, silence my enemies; destroy all my foes, for I am your servant.
Psalm 143