Today, I felt rage flooding up inside me.
Someone said to me, “Why didn’t you ask me to help you earlier? I’m tired now.”
I did ask you earlier. The thing is, there
is no good time to ask you. Any time is the wrong time. Everything I say is the
wrong thing. Everything I do is done wrong.
That’s what the rage was saying to my heart.
It feels weird to be that angry. I usually don’t have too much trouble with
anger. I say, "I did ask you." You say, "No, you didn't."
There is no winning this argument. The argument itself is a dead loss. Nothing will change. I know that, but sometimes I'll keep arguing anyway. I only shut up today because I could feel God there in the room with us.
I thought about Jesus. What would he do if
someone was finding fault with him? He would be patient, loving and not take
offence. Did he feel anger and have to deal with it? Yes, I think so.
The Bible
says Jesus was tempted in everything as we are. It isn’t a sin to feel anger, but
it is a sin to let it make you do wrong. It is a sin if you nurse your anger
and let it turn to hate.
I was listening to Don Moen’s song, “Be
Still/Know I am God.” It is my favorite song. It helped me once again in seeing
I needed to soar with my Father above the flood of my emotions. I needed to be
still and know he is God. He can lift me above anger and resentment. He can
make me act how Jesus acted when he was here.
Be Still
(Lyrics)
By Don Moen
Hide me now
Cover me
Within Your mighty hand
CHORUS:
When the oceans rise
And the thunders roar
I Will soar with You
Above the storm
Father You are King
Over the flood
And I will be still
And know You are God
Find rest my soul
In Christ alone
Know His power
In quietness and trust
Be still and know
That I am God
I am the God
That healeth thee