Since my last post, I've been thinking and talking with God about the rage I felt against a person I am close to. I wanted to know why I felt that way and what to do about it so it wouldn't happen again. I know God loves me as I am, but like Paul, I strive to do better.
I've been reading, "The Pursuit of God," by A.W. Tozer. One of the chapters is on meekness. I knew God said Moses was the meekest man on earth and I knew Jesus called himself meek. They both had strong personalities and were leaders, so I wasn't sure what meekness was. But Tozer explains the "Meek Man" and from that, I could see my problem.
Here is an excerpt from that chapter:
"The heart’s fierce effort to protect itself from every slight, to shield
its touchy honor from the bad opinion of friend and enemy, will never let the
mind have rest. Continue this fight through the years and the burden will
become intolerable.
Yet the sons of earth are carrying this burden continually, challenging
every word spoken against them, cringing under every criticism, smarting under
each fancied slight, tossing sleepless if another is preferred before them.
Such a burden as this is not necessary to bear. Jesus calls us to His rest, and
meekness is His method.
The meek man cares not at all who is greater than he, for he has long
ago decided that the esteem of the world is not worth the effort. He develops
toward himself a kindly sense of humor and learns to say, “Oh, so you have been
overlooked? They have placed someone else before you? They have whispered that
you are pretty small stuff after all? And now you feel hurt because the world
is saying about you the very things you have been saying about yourself? Only
yesterday you were telling God that you were nothing, a mere worm of the dust.
Where is your consistency? Come on, humble yourself and cease to care what men
think.”
He (the humble man) has accepted God’s estimate of his own life.
He knows he is as weak and helpless as God has declared him to be, but
paradoxically, he knows at the same time that he is, in the sight of God, more
important than angels. In himself, nothing; in God, everything. That is his
motto.
He knows well that the world will never see him as God sees him and he
has stopped caring. He rests perfectly content to allow God to place His own
values. He will be patient to wait for the day when everything will get its own
price tag and real worth will come into its own. Then the righteous shall shine
forth in the kingdom of their Father. He is willing to wait for that day.
In the meantime, he will have attained a place of soul rest. As he walks
on in meekness he will be happy to let God defend him. The old struggle to
defend himself is over. He has found the peace which meekness brings."