Do I Have to?

 

We human beings don’t like being told what to do. From the age of 2 to the time of a one’s death, we want to make our own decisions, make our own way in the world. I remember when I was in my early 40s, my husband and I recycled cardboard and bottles. Then the city passed a law to force all of us to recycle. To my shame I thought, “Well, since they are forcing me to do it, now I don’t want to.”

All through our childhood, we were forced to do many things we didn’t want to do. I did not want to go to school. I was afraid of everyone there. I did not want to go to bed so early. I didn’t want to miss some shows on TV. I did not want to go to church. It was excruciatingly boring and there was no air conditioning. We lived in Southern California. We had fans with Jesus’ picture on them, but it didn’t help much.

When I was a teen, I couldn’t go to dances. The church said it was dangerous because you hold each other. I couldn’t date until I was 16. I wanted to date at 15. I STILL had to go to school after years of agony, so I took some sleeping pills. Not enough. I got my wish for one year. I had a government teacher in my home and got straight A’s. But the next year, they sent me back to school again. After acting in crazy ways, my parents sent me to live with relatives in Canada. No more school, thank you God.

Those relatives had rules though, and I wanted no rules. I wanted to be with my boyfriend, drink and have sex. So yeah, I got pregnant and the two families berated me until I married him. But to tell the truth, I ended up being glad because I loved my baby daughter and my husband too. We had a second daughter, but our marriage ended in divorce, which was horribly painful.

So to summarize, I would say from my experience with my daughters and other people in my family no one wants to be told what to do. In general, the controversy over masks, vaccines, guns, and sexual identity, no one in the world wants to be ordered around by anyone, even if it is good for you.

I’ve been wondering if that is why many people balk at the idea of God telling them what to do. Perhaps it is the main reason they don’t want to accept him, walk with him or pray to him. It’s our pride in ourselves and our independence we don’t want to lose.

I have found, through trial and error, that God’s way is always best for me. I was dating a man, the first since my divorce, he wanted to marry me and I wanted to marry him. I had been so achingly lonely before I met him. He seemed very nice and he liked my girls. One night, I asked God if it was okay if I married him. I heard God speak to me, which was a surprise, he said, “What agreement has God with Satan?” That verse is in the Bible. Did I listen to God? No, I didn’t. I kept dating him until something awful happened.

One night I was sleeping at his place, and when we were having sex, he started to hurt me. I begged him to stop, but he wouldn’t. The next day when we were with my girls, he looked at my oldest daughter and said, “She’s going to be a real looker.” I saw how he looked at her and knew that he was a pervert. I was horrified and broke off with him. I told God I was never going to look for a boyfriend or husband again. If he wanted me to be with someone, he would have to send him to me.

That’s how it worked out that two weeks later, I met my second husband, who was a believer in God and he still is. He had way more faith in God than I ever did and still does. We went through hard times, but I’m very glad I married him.

I said to someone once, “God isn’t asking a lot from us. The Ten Commandments are not that hard! The first four are about worshipping God as creator of the universe. The last six are: “Be respectful to your parents, don’t murder, don’t lie, don’t steal, don’t sleep around on your partner, don’t be envious of what others have.

Are those things you want to do? Do you want to murder etc.? Of course, we are all tempted to do some or all of these things. That’s where the first four commandments come in. If we worship God and tell him we want to do good things, then he will put that in our hearts and his goodness covers us. The temptations won’t be so overwhelming. Still, some of us have sins that come into our minds a lot, some of us give in to sins a lot. But God says, “Though a righteous man falls down seven times, he will rise up. The wicked man falls down once.” God lifts us up time and again as we stumble through this life on this sinful, dark planet. He knows what we face for he has lived here himself. He was also tempted to do wrong – he just never did.

I have a temptation that comes to me a few times a month, but I say to God, “Lord, I don’t want to think about that.” And then I don’t. He has shown me to just think about something else the moment the temptation comes. Not that I am perfect, far from it, but as Paul says, “Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize of God’s heavenly calling in Christ Jesus.”

Philippians 3:12-14

Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or distress or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword?  As it is written:

“For Your sake we face death all day long;

we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered.”

No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor principalities, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Romans 8:35-39

Jesus said, “What does it profit a man to gain the whole world, yet forfeit his soul? Or what can a man give in exchange for his soul? If anyone is ashamed of Me and My words in this adulterous and sinful generation, the Son of Man will also be ashamed of him when He comes in His Father’s glory with the holy angels.”

Mark 8:36-38

 

 

Elderly Parents and Their Medications.

My mother with my daughter, Christine, 2 years ago,

When my mother turned 88 and started using a cane, I asked her to move in with my husband and myself. She told me she loved her neighborhood and her independence and she didn't want to. As she grew weaker, I asked again and again if she would move in. She finally said to me, "Are you asking me because you want rent money?"  Well, that made me quit asking! Lol

We used to pick her up to visit and have dinner with us, but I rarely went up to her apartment because I have fibromyalgia and was feeling very bad that year. One day, I did go up and was shocked by the kitchen. All the counters were covered with dirty dishes. I could see she hadn't washed any for at least a week. I asked her why and she said, "I keep wanting to, but when I leave the kitchen, I forget." The rest of her apartment was a bit messy, but not too bad. I had also noticed her memory was failing. I finally told her, "Mom, you must move in with us as soon as possible."

Since she had been feeling quite weak that month, she finally said yes. I was relieved. She was very upset at moving all  her things into one bedroom at our place, but I tried to cheer her up and we picked out her favorite things and packed them. I became too sick to finish and so did she, so my daughters came over and did all the rest of the packing.

As my mother became more ill and more forgetful, I asked her if she had been taking her vitamin B12 shot regularly. She swore she had, but I looked on the bottle and it was still almost full and it was a year old. I finally realized why her stomach was upset and why she was so weak and forgetful. She kept asking the same questions over and over. I thought she was getting dementia.

Mom has pernicious anemia, and if someone who has that doesn't keep up with the shots they can become very ill and even die. Mom became pretty angry when I told someone she hadn't kept up those shots. She insisted she had.  I took her to the doctor and yes, she was not only anemic but her iron was too low. This all happened in December of 2015.

I wanted to share this experience with others because I wish I had kept my eye on her medications even when she didn't live with me. Her sister, who was 10 years older than her, had had the same thing happen except she was taking too much medication. This can be a real problem when older people become forgetful.

My mother is very much improved now. Her stomach problems went away and she eats more. She is still weak and she bought a travel chair because she can't walk far. But she is very happy living here now. We have great days together. We watch Joyce Meyer every morning after breakfast. We play Scrabble, if we are up to it. We talk about God, the family and politics. She loves to read so we got her a Kindle so she always has a book. She plays word games on a laptop. She is glad she moved in and so am I. My husband is very good to her and they joke around. They are always excited to order in Chinese food. Lol  I'm sick of it now!

I'm very thankful to God that I can be here for my mother. She is always saying, "What would I do without you?"  And I tell her, "You would have to live in a nursing home and you would do what you always do - be happy. Because that's the kind of person you are; you make the best of everything and are always happy." That is true. No matter what happened in her life, she tried to make the best of it. I've always admired that about her.  Oh yeah, and the rent money comes in handy. lol