Monday, 14 November 2016

Virginity and Losing a Smart Phone.

My friend, Lene in Japan at  has kindly asked me to join a challenge based on these three quotes. I'm going to begin with this one:

“We live in a world where loosing your phone is more dramatic than loosing your virginity”
– Megan Fox

Megan Fox is right in basically saying our priorities are messed up. Who you have sex with is much more important than losing your phone. I know losing a Smart Phone can be awful. All your contacts are gone along with your games and recent conversations. But who you give your body to, well, the deep, sacred meaning of that is gone in our secular society. On TV and movies, people hop out of bed with different people and there are no consequences to it.

I lost my virginity one night when I was 16. I went to a party, got drunk and passed out. I remember a boy carrying me into a bedroom, taking off my clothes and entering me. The pain was pretty bad and there was blood on the bed. He asked, "Are you a virgin?" When I said yes, he looked very upset. I guess he thought I was always going to parties and having sex.

My mindset at the time was immature. I had been longing for someone to love me; I had been aching for a boyfriend and this boy went to my high school. We laid in bed until morning, sleeping and then talking. I thought he liked me and now I had someone. Not too bright. Actually, I was just inexperienced about the world.

He never spoke to me again. I would see him in school and he would look past me. I could see he was ashamed. I was very hurt. Another rejection.

This was in the 1960s, a time when "free love" was everywhere. My girlfriends and I didn't think it was a big deal to have sex, as long as it was with a boyfriend. But it was wrong, because I ended up being hurt. He was hurt too as he didn't mean any harm to me, at least I'm pretty sure he didn't. I know what he did is at the level of "date rape" but I never saw it that way until I was in therapy.

The consequences of having sex casually is pain. Always. When we have sex, we are sharing our deepest self to that person. I know people in my family who have been "swingers." Casual sex with other couples and so on. They used to say to me, "Nobody gets hurt." I told them someone will get hurt because they will start to love someone and be rejected. They told me I was wrong.

Years later, these same people told me I had been right. People had been deeply hurt by sharing sex. There had been friendships lost and physical violence done.

One young man I know answered an ad in our local paper for sex with a girl. These ads are for casual sex. No strings attached. The first girl he called fell hard for him. He liked her, but she was pushing to move in with him. He cut her off and out of his life. I can imagine how she felt.

God made us to be one with him and one other person. This is the path to true happiness in this life. I would suppose a lot of people will never believe this because this truth comes from God. When we give our lives to God, he will lead us into all truth, the Bible says. We will see how wrong we have been and how right God is. Wonderfully, he forgives all the past and we have a brand new start. He will make us feel content with one person to love in a sexual way. And he will do much more than that if you give him a chance.