Hmm, It Took Me 45 Years to Learn That!

Well, after my previous post, I've been thinking and praying. I've decided I have to leave the hard questions with God and not worry about anything. We aren't supposed to worry and fret so I won't.

I did think about how long God took to teach people in the Old Testament. Moses was 40 years working as a shepherd before he was ready for God to use him. David was on the run from King Saul for 20 years. Joseph was a slave and in prison for 13 years before God rescued and used him.

Human beings are not known for their patience. We like things done fast and tied up with a pretty bow. At least, I do. But God is very patient and I'm thankful for that. It can take years for a person to learn life lessons. And a lot of our learning comes from failing; just like scientists learn from experiments that don't work. Churches don't like it when we fail and they don't like to wait for us to learn something.

Maybe we shouldn't hate our failings so much. Failing at being kind or generous can bring some guilt, and not all feelings of guilt are bad. We can say we are sorry and begin again and ask God to make us into kind and generous people. He will. That's the great part. He will change our hearts into good hearts; into hearts that honor him.

If there was a church that worshipped on Saturday and had no rules and accepted everyone, and had a lot of singing of happy songs, sharing of our lives with God, and praising God, and praying together, I would go there. I feel pretty safe saying that because there will never be a church like that.

God, Gays, and Alcoholics.

Photo by: Farragutful

I wish I understood more about living with God and learning his ways. More about how things work. I left my local church for a lot of reasons, the main one being how mean people were. Most people there would find fault with other members, and they would confront people right in the foyer in the church! They would accuse people of breaking the Sabbath, singing songs that weren't the right "kind" of songs, etc. I got sick of it and thought, "I'll never bring anyone to this church again."  Then I thought, "Well, why am I here then?" And after 24 years, I left.

Later on, I had a breakdown when I remembered all the abuse my father had piled on me. I was a wreck; I could barely function. I started therapy but also started drinking so I wouldn't feel so sad. I drank off and on for 10 years drinking more and more. I started praying about it and finally quit because one day God just took the desire away from me. I was thankful.

During that time, I also started smoking. I'm still smoking. I've prayed and tried to quit but I haven't yet. So, I wonder about all this. I believe God was with me all the time, helping me to heal, but now I think, "It was good I left the church when I did because they wouldn't have waited 10 years for me to stop drinking. They would have given me a hard time about it." Then I wondered if I had felt I could be open with Christians, maybe they could have encouraged me and prayed with me all those years; or would they have just said I wasn't truely converted?

Then there is a sister of mine. She is gay and in a comitted relationship with one woman. She is an amazing woman; she gives out Bibles and studies with people she meets. She was homeless and met a lot of hurting and mentally ill people she helped. God is working with and through her all the time. Yet, religious people tell me she is not saved; it doesn't matter what she does, she is living in sin.

Well, maybe she is in a way. It depends how you interpret the Bible. Sure it says not to sleep with the same sex, but it also has always said not to commit adultery. The men in the Old Testament had lots of wives; they comitted adultery all their lives and God said nothing. Scholars say, "Well, that was in their culture at the time." Okay, fine, in our time there are lots of gay people. So, if you can excuse heterosexual men for having multiple wives, why can't you excuse gay people for loving and having one partner? I can't see it.

So, I am confused about a lot of things. Jesus was so inclusive. He never turned anyone away. He was patient with people, not expecting perfection. Then you read Paul's letters and it's like we should be perfect - these paragons of virtue. When a person is converted everyone acts like they should never sin again. Really? Is that possible?

Oh well, that's where I am at now. Dazed and confused about living the Christian life, but still loving God and knowing he loves me. Hopefully, that's all that matters.

Does Something About God Offend You?

Who is God?

And the news about Jesus spread throughout Judea and the surrounding countryside. The disciples of John the Baptist told John about everything Jesus was doing. So John called for two of his disciples, and he sent them to the Lord to ask him, "Are you the Messiah we've been expecting, or should we keep looking for someone else?"

John's two disciples found Jesus and said to him, "John the Baptist sent us to ask, 'Are you the Messiah we've been expecting, or should we keep looking for someone else?'"

 At that very time Jesus cured many who had diseases, sicknesses and evil spirits, and gave sight to many who were blind. 
So he replied to the messengers, "Go back and report to John what you have seen and heard: The blind receive sight, the lame walk, those who have leprosy are cleansed, the deaf hear, the dead are raised, and the good news is proclaimed to the poor. And blessed is the one who is not offended by me.”   Luke 7:17-23

John the Baptist and the Jewish nation expected a Messiah who would drive out the Romans and make them into a great nation. But Jesus had been preaching for a long time and had not said anything about the Romans. Even though John had heard a voice from heaven when he baptized Jesus, he wondered if he had made a mistake.

God is sometimes not the God we thought he was. We can have what they call a "crisis of faith."  We wonder if we have made a mistake. God doesn't do the things we think he should do. We can become offended by God. 

A lot of believers go through this. I just finished reading, Faith Unraveled, by Rachel Held Evans. She began to question what she had been taught about God. She wasn't sure she wanted a God like that. 

It is good to question our beliefs. There are so many different doctrines in the churches that we can learn wrong things about God. We have to study for ourselves and ask for God to lead us. We can ask him what this or that verse might mean and he will light up our minds.

The doctrine of the Messiah in John's day was mistaken. The verses in the Old Testament about Jesus' second coming were mixed up with the verses of his first coming. 

What was Jesus' advice to John? Look at Jesus, and then judge. Was he acting righteous? Was he fulfilling some of the prophecies? Yes, he was. Then Jesus said something very important, "Blessed is the one who is not offended by me."

Let us not be offended by God or Jesus. Keep searching; never give up. You will find him,... "when you search for him with all your heart."  Jeremiah 291:13

God's Priorities.

Photo by: Михаил Овчинников

Who is God?

Jesus said, "And what do you benefit if you gain the whole world but lose your own soul? Is anything worth more than your soul?"  Matthew 16:26

God's  #1 priority is your soul and its salvation. He wants you to be with him forever in heaven. He wants to be your friend, your father and your God.

Who am I?

I've always wanted to live in heaven. When I was a little girl, I would look at the skies and hope I would see Jesus coming back in the clouds as he said. 

My first mother-in-law was frustrated with me because I became a Christian. She once asked, "Why do you want to be a Christian anyway?  I said, "Eternal life?"  She didn't have an answer for that and I couldn't understand how anyone could not care about it.  Now that I know God better I think I would have said, "Living forever with God," because I'm so excited about meeting him.

Say a person becomes a big success in their career. They buy everything they want, travel anywhere they want and they do anything they want. They are still going to die one day and all that is worth exactly nothing. I think this is what Jesus meant. 

Some people don't want to follow Jesus because they are afraid of what God may want them to do. But they need not fear. After you give your life to God your mind becomes closer and closer to his mind. You will want to do what he wants you to do. It's a daily comittment; God doesn't expect any of us to become perfect right away. Life becomes a school where we constantly learn about God and how to do things for others.

Jesus said, "I pray that they will all be one, just as you and I are one--as you are in me, Father, and I am in you. And may they be in us so that the world will believe you sent me."  John 17:21

7 Things I Like About Being 65.

Brought to you by:

Bish Denham - Random Thoughts

&

Ninja Captain Alex J. Cavanaugh

I joined a bunch of people in a blog fest where you share a list of anything; so, here goes:

 7 Things I Like About Turning 65.

1. At 65, I find it easier to  rejoice in small things, such as waking up in the morning and thinking, "I'm still here?!"

(You have to understand I grew up in the 1950s when 65 was considered OLD. People dropped dead right after they retired, which made the government very happy.)

2. At 65, you never run out of things to talk about, namely: your health. My mom and I have more in common than ever. Just yesterday, Mom walked in the door and said, "I'm feeling a little shaky today." I came back with, "That's a coincidence, my legs are wobbly."

(Score: 1 - 1, although the fact she has to use a cane pretty well trumps anything I have to say.)

3. At 65, my children and grandchildren look on me as a source of wise counsel.
    (Ha! Just joking. They are keeping an eye out for an ice floe with my name on it.)

4. At 65, I've learned I have less to buy. Recently, I looked in a cupboard and saw 4 boxes of staples. I thought, "I'm sure I'll be dead before I run out of these."

5. At 65, I don't have to cook Thanksgiving or Christmas dinners anymore. My daughters and grandchildren do it all while Mom and I sit in the living room being old.

6. At 88, my mother is healthier than I am. I've always told my mother I would take care of her in her old age. Now I'm thinking, maybe we could go to a rest home together! I'd have an instant roomie.

7. At 65, my husband still loves me. Amazing, but true.

Follow Me.

A pilot truck leads vehicles through the fire zone.

Photo: Oregon Department of Transportation

Who is God?

Peter turned and saw the disciple whom Jesus loved following them...   When Peter saw him, he said to Jesus, “Lord, what about this man?”  Jesus said to him, “If it is my will that he remain until I come, what is that to you? You follow me!”  John 21:20-22

God's advice to us is to keep our eyes on him; he knows if we don't we can get sidetracked and lose our way.

Then Jesus told his disciples, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me.  Matthew 16:24

"My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me."  John 10:27


Who am I?

Peter was always looking around at other people. I have the same problem.

I think about my family, all the in-laws, those in the news, the people I meet online and in books. I  want everyone to be saved so I start worrying. I pray for these people and then look for signs they have heard the voice of God in their hearts. It is hard for me to leave people's salvation in the mighty hands of God.

When I feel sad about someone I love, I find that looking at Jesus lifts me up. I then feel hope and happiness. It is hard to look at Jesus and feel bad! God keeps reminding me to keep my eyes on Jesus and I'm thankful for this.

If we keep our eyes on Jesus we will learn from him how to live and we will learn how to trust in God the Father as he did.

God is Fun.

Who is God?

He is the creator of pleasure.

I heard in a sermon today that Eden means, "pleasure" or "delight." I hadn't known that, and it made me smile.

"For a meaning of the name Eden, The NOBSE Study Bible Name List reads Delight, Pleasantness. 
Jones' Dictionary of Old Testament Proper Names renders Paradise, A Place Of Delight."
http://www.abarim-publications.com/Meaning/Eden.html#.ViSZrPmrTIU

I would guess most people don't think of God as a God of pleasure, but he is. Think of how a beautiful sunset, a roaring ocean or a mountain covered in snow makes you feel. Pleasure. Delight. More and more, I think of God as a poet, an artist and a being who just loves life and loves to share it all. He created sexual union, which is one of the greatest pleasures. He could have made sex happen with no physical feeling at all; instead he made it an act of ecstacy.

When he gave us sex, he gave us the ablility to create our own children; he shared his creative power with us. Think of the joy a mother and father have when they first see their child. This is how God must have felt when he made the angels and Adam and Eve. He made the world for them and then he gave them a special garden to live in called, "Pleasure." Amazing. An amazing God.

When Psalm 16:11 says there are, "eternal pleasures at your right hand," I can't wait to find out what they are. I have lots of pleasure here, but I'm sure it is much better in heaven when we see him face to face.

"You make known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand."  Psalm 16:11

"So don't be afraid, little flock. For it gives your Father great happiness to give you the Kingdom." Luke 12:32

"The LORD takes pleasure in those who fear him, in those who hope in his steadfast love." Psalm 147:11

"The LORD directs the steps of the godly. He delights in every detail of their lives."  Psalm 37:23

For the LORD takes pleasure in his people; he adorns the humble with salvation. Psalm 149:4

"For the Father Himself loves you, because you have loved Me and have believed that I came from God."  John 16:27

"For wisdom will enter your heart, and knowledge will be pleasant to your soul."  Proverbs 2:10

Who am I?

Since I thought God wasn't too happy with me for most of my life, I didn't equate him with pleasure. My bad! I had a dream about 6 years ago. Jesus and I were riding on two black horses. We were riding very fast. He was laughing and so was I. I looked over at him, his hair was flying back with the wind and he looked so happy. Then, as I turned and looked ahead, our horses grew great black wings and we flew up and up... I knew we were headed towards heaven. 

I think God gave me this dream to show me he is a God who wants me to enjoy his company; and he wanted to show me that he enjoyed my company too. When I am in heaven, I'm going to ask Jesus to go horseback riding with me. I'm looking forward to it.