"I Will Never Leave You." - Jesus

I’m 69 and I take care of my mother who is 91. She has short-term memory loss. She can still play games; we just have to explain them each time. She can read and talk about politics, but she usually forgets that Trump is president and what we have said about him. She remembers the past very well and talks about her childhood.

Her favorite show is “Father Brown.” It is a British show about a priest who solves murders. He is also a kind and spiritual priest who says wonderful things about God. The thing is, she doesn’t remember the shows after she watches them. 

At first, I found different shows after we had watched all of “Father Brown”, but she would see a picture of him on Netflix and say, “I love “Father Brown”. I’d like to watch that.” So now, I just have that show on all the time for her when it is just the two of us up and about. My husband and her watch other things.

What I found really interesting is that we also watch Joyce Meyer, the preacher, every day. But there is a big difference. She remembers the shows! If there are two of them to watch and I choose the one we watched before she will say, “We’ve seen this one.”

When my husband was in the hospital for a procedure that went all wrong, he became very sick. I went in his room one morning and he looked at me and said, “Who are you?” I left the room and started bawling in the hallway. A nurse ran up and asked me why I was crying and I said, “My husband doesn’t even know who I am.”

All hell broke loose; doctors came running from everywhere. It turned out that during the procedure the doctor had cut open his liver and didn’t know it. They did save him and he was okay. He got his memory back.

He told me later that when he had woken up, he had remembered God and Jesus, but that was all. He hadn’t even known who he was or why he was in a hospital. He said remembering Jesus gave him peace of mind. He wasn’t worried.

When my nephew became very sick with schizophrenia, the only time he talked sanely was when he talked with me about whether there was a God and what he was like. We talked on and off for about 6 months. The last time I saw him he told me he believed in God and given his life to him. A few days later he was dead by suicide.

I find all this beautiful and encouraging, how God can speak to and live in our minds no matter how sick we are, no matter how our minds are affected.

No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor principalities, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers,neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Romans 8:38,39

Suicide - How Does God See It?

Fragile Emotion

Photo by: Don http://www.flickr.com/people/97224989@N00

My beloved nephew, Ian, killed himself a month ago. He was 45 years old. He had paranoid schizophrenia.

I remember reading some religions believe suicide is a sin. Even a sin God can't forgive. I don't believe that. I've been suicidal myself; I have a mental illness because of my abusive father. Elijah wanted to die, so did Jeremiah and Job. God didn't tell any of them they sinned in that wish.

Ian quit taking his medication, which a lot of people with schizophrenia do. He kept refusing to take it until he was having delusions every day. I won't go into detail about his illness, what I wanted to share about him was his journey to God.

About a year or more ago, Ian started getting interested in spiritual things. He wanted to find the "true" religion. He studied Buddhism, Islam and Christianity. He used to call me and we would talk about these religions. He asked me why I thought Christianity was the true religion and I told him. Then he started asking me about the different Christian religions. I told him of some of the different beliefs that were out there. He asked me about the church I grew up in, which is the Seventh-Day-Adventist Church.

I explained our beliefs to him. So, he went and visited some churches in his community in Washington, State. I asked which one he liked best, and he did say the Adventist church. He asked about why we worship on Saturday instead of Sunday, and I told him all the reasons.

When my mother broke her hip and was in the hospital, Ian came to see her and stayed with us. He came twice. We talked some more about God, and why I believed he was the true God. All the rest of the time he talked with me it was about his delusions of being followed and how he was putting us in danger just by visiting us. He thought the government was after him, but I never did understand why he thought that. He talked about conspiracies, but I don't know what kind. He thought he had special powers.

The only time he talked sanely was when he talked about God. The last day he was here, he said he had made up his mind and believed in God and Jesus and also would not work on Sabbath again. I was very happy for him. As he drove away for the last time, I said to God, "Oh Lord, what are you going to do for him?"

He killed himself a few days later. I think God stepped back and let it happen. Ian had turned to God, given himself to him and that was what God was waiting for. Ian will now have the peace he longed for when Jesus returns. We will see him and hug him again, and he will be all well. I'm so looking forward to that day. I'll see my brother, grandson, Ian, my grandmothers and who knows who else? And of course I will get to see Jesus and the face of my father God. Oh yes, I am excited about that day.